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An explanation.


NightRider

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I've taken a couple days off from OR...just to think about a few things. I thought i would try and explain a few things to clear

the air a little bit. As i'm sure alot of you saw the childish (my part) conflict with Zach. I'll try to keep this is as short as

possible...but i'm sure it will run long. So...be warned. lol. I didn't know where else to put this either.

This isn't intended to be a sob story, or a plea for sympathy just trying to shed light on this. Growing up from about 5-13...i

went through some pretty rough times. Being physically and emotionally abused from my father. Being the middle child, for what

ever reason it seemed like i got the brunt of everything. My younger brother did whatever was asked of him, and never defied the

great one...so for anything to happen to him...or even spoken illy of him was rare. My oldest brother is 9 years older than me,

so...he was always gone...and when he was home he was protecting me from harm...when i couldn't do anything for myself. In turn

him and my dad (his step dad) got into it alot too...so he eventually left and ended up leaving home around 16. I can remember

being pushed down a flight of stairs, being slapped in the face, punched, kicked, having marks on my back and doing pretty badly

in school. From all the stress. I used to have pretty bad nightmares, and i will have about one or 2 every year. When they happen

i usually wake up throwing punches, and have accidently hit a few people i have shared a bed with. My parents fought constantly,

if there was ever a problem it was solved by screaming/yelling or violence. My mom in order to protect my little brother and

me...seperated from my dad quite a bit...but it was never more than a month. And nothing ever changed. I was eventually put into a

home school program due in part to having visible marks on me most of the time, and with everything going on i just didn't do much

of anything in public school. I was home 24/7 until i turned 16. Amazingly...i was bought a car and stayed away as much as i

could. But at the same time, wanting and needing to stay home in case my dad pulled any shit on my mom or my brother. At 18, i was

able to eventually get my GED. And been working odd jobs basically ever since. To say...this man (if you can call him that)

effected my life in many negative ways would be an under statement. I honestly can't say one positive thing about him. Or remember

one good childhood moment. I have an immense ammount of anger...and resentment towards my father...and at times i admit i can be

an angry person. Quick to lose my temper if i feel slighted...or threatened. I can joke with the best of them, and try to do so.

But once a line is crossed...it's hard to restrain myself. There were so many negatives growing up...i try to keep a positive tone

at all times. So...in a way i kind of battle myself to keep calm when things get tense. I don't have problems with anything else.

Like for example, not getting my way...i won't stab anyone or break anything or throw a temper tantrum. I'm used to that. It's

just when negativity is directed towards me in a unjokeful manner. I don't go looking for trouble, but when there is...i do what

comes easy for me. Turn to violence. As obviously i'm not the strongest with words. And...obviously, that's something i still

definitely have to work on...and have been for a long time. But there are definitely times where my anger...and my tendencies get

the best of me. As i think everyone? Note: In case any one is wondering. No, no matter the case would i NEVER hit a woman. And

highly look down on anyone that would. I'm sure as well, i'm not the only one who went through rough times as a kid. And i'll be

the 1st one to admit...maybe i could have changed the outcome of a few situations...and sucked it up (no homo bitches!):p a little

better.

So...like i said this isn't intended for sympathy or...anything of that nature. But just for me to explain a few things. I would

like to say i'm sorry if i offended anyone...and yes even Zach. And have no REAL ill will towards him. :p

Or is a great place, there are many good people here and i don't want to leave...or have to be forced to the door. I never meant

to cause trouble or make OR look bad. I look forward to riding with more people this year...and making it out to some more events.

Time provided. But...if i've worn out my welcome...and everyone wants me gone. I'll walk.

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You can't leave, I'd miss your puke BJ stories.

Hmmm...why do you need stories when you can have the real thing? I'm sure Mj's up for it. Get her some wings. Maybe some beer. Your good to go. :p

That's hard to do man, kudos.

I won't talk about yer balls anymore.

:D

Thank god...they were getting enough attention. :D

Dammit I musta missed somthing AGAIN. And Zach dont talk about my balls either please, thats better left to the ladies. And Nightrider you cant leave till you pick up a gixxer 750 and go on a Hocking ride with me :D

Ahh damn i forgot. lol. I'll be sure to stitch Todd in the seat after i wreck it. :D

the puke BJ story is EPIC.

don't sweat the small stuff, life's too short. You know where you've been and seems like you have an idea of where you would like to be, so alls good.

Glad i could share my slightly erotic...highly disgusting moment. :lol:

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Sensitive post of the day:

Are you guys gonna fuk now or wut??? :dunno:

I'm keeping my fingers crossed. :D

puke bj ftw....... you still with that chick btw??

Please experience one...it's not all win. lol. And...no i'm not she moved to Connecticut for a job. As lucky as i got...the poon wasn't good enough to follow it that far.

you guys better fight or fuck... otherwise I'm giving the BOTH of you aids.

How about a 3 way Jinu? We can all haz da aids. Pretty win/win...no? :D

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dear nightrider,

we've only had a small chat here and there but don't go away. I feel like I would miss the pukey bj stories as well as the coincidence we know some of the same people. if you try to give me da aids, i'll find you and kick you square in the baby maker in attempts to nullify da aids...not to mention i might star referring to you as magic johnson, the basketball player. Like I need you thinking your johnson is magic with the aids

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