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New Sick Leave Policy (Joke)


lagalaxy8

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NEW SICK LEAVE POLICY

SICKNESS: No Excuse. We will no longer accept your doctor’s statement as proof, as we believe that if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

LEAVE OF ABSENCE (For an Operation): We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage any thought that you may have about needing an operation. We believe that as long as you are employed here, you will need all of whatever you have & should not consider having anything removed. We hired you as you are & to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we bargained for.

REST ROOM: Too much time is being spent in the Rest Room. In the future we will follow the practice of going to the Rest Room in alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names begin with “A†will go from 8:00 a.m. to 8:05 a.m., “B†will go from 8:05 to 8:10 a.m. and so on. If you are unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait until the day your turn comes again.

DEATH (Other Than Your Own) : This is no excuse. There is nothing you can do for them, & we are sure that someone else in a lesser position can attend to the arrangements. However, if the Funeral can be held in late afternoon, we will be glad to let you off one hour early, provided that your share of work is ahead enough to keep the job going in your absence.

DEATH (Your Own): This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like a two-week notice, as we feel it is your duty, to teach someone else your job.

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When I was in college, one of my professors tried knocking me down an entire grade point (from an A to a B) for missing a week of class. She could have been doubtful about my excuse, though... I mean, after you have a baby, you do still carry some weight around for a while.

I wish I'd had this joke to show her.

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Depends, Are you saying I'm fat?

It's kinda hard NOT to notice a girl is pregnant, Hell my girl has kids, and even though she's only literally, 100 freakin pounds, Pixs of her when she was looked like she had a basketball under her shirt :lol: So unless your HUGE it'd be kinda hard to NOT notice a girl is pregnant

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