FWD: Why I'm Divorced

[mhallam85]

Oh, this is too funny!

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning..

I went downstairs for breakfast

Hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,

'Happy Birthday!',

And possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,

She barely said good morning,

Let alone

' Happy Birthday.'

I thought....

Well, that's marriage for you,

But the kids....

They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast

And didn't say a word..

So when I left for the office,

I felt pretty low

And somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,

My secretary Jane said,

'Good Morning Boss,

And by the way

Happy Birthday ! '

It felt a little better

That at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock ,

When Jane knocked on my door

And said, 'You know,

It's such a beautiful day outside,

And it is your Birthday,

What do you say we go out to lunch,

Just you and me..'

I said, 'Thanks, Jane,

that's the greatest thing

I've heard all day.

Let's go !'

We went to lunch.

But we didn't go

Where we normally would go.

She chose instead at a quiet bistro

With a private table.

We had two martinis each

And I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,

Jane said, 'You know,

It's such a beautiful day...

We don't need to go straight back to the office,

Do We ?'

I responded,

'I guess not.

What do you have in mind ?'

She said,

'Let's drop by my apartment,

it's just around the corner..'

After arriving at her apartment,

Jane turned to me and said,

' Boss, if you don't mind,

I'm going to step into the bedroom

For just a moment.

I'll be right back.'

'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,

After a couple of minutes,

She came out

Carrying a huge birthday cake ...

Followed

By my wife,

My kids,

And dozens of my friends

And co-workers,

All singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there....

On the couch....

Naked

If a woman is looking for a husband, she's never had one before.

[Casper]

[BMMW]

If a woman is looking for a husband, she's never had one before.

Huh? LQTM

[mhallam85]

im guessing it means if a woman had a husband before she wouldnt be looking for another one

[e-flores]

WIN!!!

[Warlock]

[chevysoldier]

Lol

[hollywood3586]

[Scarlett Harlot]

Outstanding!

[hue jass]

[oldschoolsdime92]

zing!

[BikerBoy]

funny shit , right there =))

[Cypress]

Wow.

[goal12]

I LOL'ed