This cracked me up! Attn: Beneficiary. We apologize for the delay of your overdue payment and all the Inconveniences and hiccups that we might have caused you. However, we were having some minor problems with our payment system, which is Inexplicable, and have held us stranded and Indolent, not having the Prerequisite to devote our 100% endowment in accrediting foreign payments. We apologize once again, from the Records of outstanding debt's due for payment to: {CONTRACT PAYMENT, LOTTERY CLAIMS, INHERITANCE FUND CLAIMS, NEXT OF KIN ETC} THIS OFFICE: DEBT RECONCILIATION COMMITTEE IN CONJUNCTION WITH OVERSEA CREDIT COMMISSION has been Mandated to Liquidate all outstanding debt; your name and Particulars is among the next on the list due for outstanding payment. I wish to inform you now that the square peg is now in square hole and can be accelerated so that your payment can be processed and will be released to you as soon as you respond to this letter. Also note that from the record in our file, YOUR APPROVED outstanding part payment is valued at {US$5,500,000.00}, {FIVE MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLARS} TAG with Reference NUMBER: PF-008006-WB/11. METHOD OF PAYMENT: 1). By direct wire transfer to your nominated account. 2). By Certified bank draft In the light of this aforementioned, you are required to reconfirm the following information as stated below, as this will enable us to process and release your fund without any further delay. Your Name in full Telephone and fax Numbers Residential or office Address Occupation Age You are advised to forward your urgent reply, the required information/option of payment for speedy release of your long over-due part payment within 72 banking hours. Yours Sincerely, Mr. Robert Greene For Debt Reconciliations Committee.