An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face. "What are so happy about?" asked the bartender. "Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, the railroad tracks I live by? Well on my way home last nite, I noticed a young girl tied to the tracks. and like in the films. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place." "Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. It was amazing!" "Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky guy, was she pretty?" "Dunno.....Never found the head!"