Orion

phil, the second you see one of these, youd better be on the phone to me. i wonder how mod-freindly a car like this would be?

how is that flesh-eating parasite that infected your brain? has it starved to death yet? no one said you had to a-p-o-l-o-g-i-z-e for being h-e-a-l-t-h-y, but it would be nice of you to say youre sorry for being an idiot. anyway, let's dispense with social pleasantries: take a chair; face the blackboard, and pay attention while I explain the 'Theory Of Why You Are A Pitiful Fuckweasel' to you. after reading your inept missive, i can't decide if syntax, logic, or control of your bowels is your weakest skill. you seem to excel in areas requiring dazzling ineptitude. perhaps you should run for US President? (although I doubt many would take a passive-aggressive dwarf hunchback in a wheelchair handing out 'Fuckweasel For President' pamphlets seriously. But it still beats that 1950's pram your mother occasionally pushes you around in.) isn't it tragic that your mother wanted a daughter, but squirted-out a human carbuncular instead? stupidity doesn't just run in your family, it does the decathlon and heptathlon at olympic level. contrary to your impudent assertion, you slanderous blackguard, i have painstakingly analysed all of the problems submitted to me by hordes of hapless and woebegone plebeians and answered each one with a magnitude of profound empathy, wisdom and human compassion worthy of recognition by a Nobel Peace Prize. while it is appropriate that you should be envious of my superlative self, I suggest that you moderate the severity of the querulous and begrudging nature of your crux idée fixe, lest it lax your fingertip grip on reality and send you plunging into an abyss of irreversible lunacy. lord knows, you're already halfway there. if you so desire, i am happy to engage you in any physical test of strength you choose. its clear, though, that on a mental level, you meet your match discoursing with your average garden slug.

sounds like thats something they really need to hear. "all things work together for the good of those who love Him."

you are a classless, tasteless, son of a bitch. if you had said something like this in public, and i was there, thered have been words exchanged. when you die, son, im going to piss on your grave. [ 11. October 2004, 05:31 PM: Message edited by: Zwick Fuckstick ]

"you can make it now, oh, no, no you cant...." rofl!!! rather humorous.

i actually was watching showtime at the apollo when that first aired. that chick is not too shabby.

jon... that wasn't a bad effort for a drooling spastic with a rather large hole in its rather small head. i haven't seen anything that impressive since the that chinese down's syndrome kid threw a javelin a full seven feet at the last special olympics. admittedly, it stuck in the chest of his coach who was standing seven feet behind him, but it was still pretty impressive. but then, world records are nothing new to you. You hold the world record for repeatedly stepping on a rake. a record you accidentally acquired while attempting to escape from the secure wing of the alabama care home for the deeply, deeply disturbed. unfortunately, the best laid plans of mice and abject imbeciles often go astray. thus, having distracted your care workers attention through the fiendishly clever expedient of pointing at a pigeon and saying "oh, look! a pigeon!", you only succeeded in making nine feet of your escape across the grounds and over the wall to freedom, before stepping on a rake and having the handle of it bolt up and smack you on your face. dazed, you stepped back, before attempting to proceed with your escape, whereupon you stepped on the very same rake again and received another smack on your face from the handle. this pattern continued for forty-three minutes and twenty-seven seconds until your care worker regained his composure from laughing at such a hapless dolt and took you back to the secure ward. an unenviable world record, no doubt - but a world record nonetheless. You also hold the record for the worlds biggest balls. however, the 'balls' are morbidly pathological hemorrhoids that have inflated to the size of basketballs, and not testicles. nevertheless, you are still able to lead a relatively normal cyber life as a run-of-the-mill internet 'tard despite your handicap. offline mobility is secured by pulling a wheelbarrow behind you that contains your two massive balls. remarkably, you also hold the record for the worlds smallest balls. apparently, you feel that you are a woman in a man's body and attribute your tiny testicles to the sheer force of willing them not to grow. however, this claim is easily dismissed by pointing out that your daily estrogenic injections are largely responsible for the phenomena along with the botched chromosome "Eunuch-Y" which is common in your male family line. clearly, you are an idiot of the first rank, and the poster child of gibbering spastics everywhere. now, apart from botching my brilliant and original insulting style by unsuccessfully imitating it, what else can you do badly? monkey see, monkey do, eh? being the only man to ever manage to get his tongue stuck the spacebar and ALT key on a keyboard, i'm sure you displayed your impressive ability to say and do incredibly stupid things as soon as you learned to speak and move about. indeed, through constant practice coupled with natural talent, i'm sure you have perfected the craft of saying stupid things to the level of an art form that only botched lobotomy patients and those suffering from gangrene of the brain stem can come close to equaling. and stop lying. if what i said hadnt been true, you wouldnt have defended yourself so hard that you didnt even throw an insult at me. youve got a lot to learn, boy. ben... you're the saddest, piss-poor excuse for a man I've ever seen, you little sherry-sipping frenchman in a latex mini-skirt. i'm not surprised you're single, you pimple-faced perpetual wedgie victim. i bet you put pubic hairs between your teeth just to make it look like you get laid? If you're average looking, i'm brad pitt. your face should be sued for attempting to impersonate a human, you freakish gargoyle. calling you a pea brain would be an insult to peas, you jellyfish-sucking mental midget. You scrawny-assed, anorexic african famine victim; if you had dreads, i'd grab you by your ankles and use you to mop the floor. do you get a clearer idea of how pathetic you are, you minimum wage earning human equivalent of a bidet? i've seen wounds that were better dressed than you are, you toad-lickin', hound-kickin', snot-flickin', inbred swamp spawn! why don't you stop gyrating that gaping misplaced asshole of a mouth on your face for a fucking minute so I can see what the fuck a gibbering witless gimp actually looks like? and by the way, no one gives a fuck what you think, either. graemlins/nonono.gif

taller, and uglier, too. jon has a blank, helpless sort of face, rather like a rose just before you drench it with DDT. he is brave, though, to keep on like this. jon doesn't know the meaning of the word fear, but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words. some people don't hesitate to speak their minds because they have nothing to lose. jon, never enter a battle of wits unarmed. its unbecoming. ordinarily people live and learn. You just live. jon, you have low self esteem. i know it, you know it, everyone on this board knows it. to act as if you tossed my name in there to bait me to get at you is ludicrous. you fucked up, and now youre looking dumb because of it. what do we know about jon? he has no car thats worthy of the title, yet he frequesnts a message board for automotive enthusiasts. the first time he gets laid at college, he posts about it, in detail. his favorite people to hang out with are the smarter, older people. he plays poker, not because hes good at it, but because its trendy. same reason he wears abercrombie and fitch. no one has ever seen him with a girl, here in columbus. jon is the kind of guy who sends mixed messages. a bit of facial hair, as if to say, "im a man, a dangerous man", and then a backwards hat, as if to say, "im just a little boy at heart." the truth of the matter is that jon is no different from thousands of other wannabes. like the little dog in the warner brothers cartoons that incessantly bounces around and annoys the bulldog, spike, you bark arrogantly at anyone passing by, and then cower, terrified, behind the big dogs legs when someone throws a rock at you. go away, jon. your fucking bothering me.

the reason you hadnt seen me talk any shit is because most of the people around here arent gluttons for punishment. you, on the other hand, seem too stupid to figure it out. anytime youd like to try my strength, you let me know. i see that i got no argument from you about being smarter or funnier. ill take that as a sign that even the dumbest of chimps can in fact be trained. as far as my waistline goes, it cant possibly suck as much as not being able to reach the pedals. must be kinda hard pickin up chicks with your mom driving you everywhere.

spoiling for some humility, son? be careful what you wish for..... youre damn right im low. im so low you cant get under me. i take it to all the levels that no one else will go to, and thats why its my fucking kitchen. anyway you stack this, kid, you lose. im smarter than you, so you cant out-think me. im funnier than you, so thats lost to you as well. im bigger and stronger than you too, and i know how to bust heads, so when all else fails, id even make you look bad in a fight. so, what are you gonna do? memo to jon: keep my name out of your mouth and ill not embarass your punk ass in front of all these people youre trying so hard to impress.

aaron likes the cock. true story.

wow. i may not be a subaru owner for long.

"You're a sensitive boy, aren't ya, tommy."

anyone for some cranberry dressing? that was yucky.

good lawd! nice run, mike. did you say, stock twins? thats very impressive.

hate the front end. i agree with venomss, the retro look is fruity.

thats freakin hilarious. "leanin to the side, cuz you cant speed through, two miles an hour, so everybody sees you..."

ruh roh, shaggy.

well, thats a relief.

weaksauce? dude, tell me you did not race sam on foot to see if he would actually beat des. graemlins/doh.gif

shut up, noob. the jokes no fun if we have to explain it. ken, that was graphic, and disgusting. im dockin points for making me gag.

you are the one who asked the question, so, you are the dumbass, dumbass. and, anytime you want to see how slow my 4 cylinder is, ill be happy to show you.

no, dumbass.

all of you english speakers are bitches. one more thing thats racist, and someones can take up a new language, cause their ass is going on vacation.

can i have your stock turbo when you switch?