What you see before you is none other than the crown jewel of mid-90's American made sedan excellency. This 1995 Ford Crown Vic is made of iron ore steel forged in the heart of a West Virginian mine by a descendant of the late, great, John Henry himself, the best hammer swinger to have ever lived (Google him if you don't know who he is and shame on you).
The seats are stuffed with REAL Bald Eagle feathers (no bald eagles were harmed in the making of this vehicle because that may or may not be a lie) which are wrapped in traditional Ford Corinthians leather (no Corinthians were hurt either).
This COMPLETELY RUST FREE chariot features power windows, locks, seats, steering, brakes, and mirrors. Whether you're a strapping young lad or a baby boomer with 27 grandchildren and 92 great-grandchildren this car is a breeze to drive. PREMIUM COMFORT ACHIEVMENT UNLOCKED! Even the heat and air conditioning work FLAWLESSLY! The automatic transmission shifts so smoothly you'll have to choke back tears while driving it. You may even be lulled to sleep. The powerful V8 engine runs so strong you'll have to hold onto your flat bill or wig (depending on which era you were born) if you mash on the accelerator.
With just under 138,000 ALL ORIGINAL miles on this bumper to bumper, unrestored, vintage, classic (and other descriptive buzz words like “one of a kind”), vehicle, you can rest assured that not part was replaced or modified with sub-par parts. That's right. Believe it or not this “grocery getter” dragster SURVIVED the Fast & Furious craze of the early 2000's. I KNOW! UNBELIEVABLE! Not a spoiler or under-body neon has EVER been installed! No granny shifting or double clutching in this smooth ride. It's an automatic...WITH WORKING CRUISE CONTROL!
If you need a reliable way to transport 6 people while simultaneously hosting a birthday party or pick up basketball game in the spacious trunk, this is the vehicle for you. Don't wait! This offer won't last long!
...unless nobody wants to buy it.
$1250.