You wanna die intentionally due to your masochist nature you're impatient; death comes eventually but you want instant gratification suicide's been attempted; you're not alive if you meant it and if you survive you'll be labeled demented and sent to somewhere expensive where they'll keep you stable with narcotics strapped to a table in a place full of psychotics locked in a rubber room unable to bash your skull or hang yourself with a cable It's ironic like a fable depression has infected you, you're under the impression It's best to put a Tech to your neck and apply pressure to the trigger mechanism. phew.
Oh by the way, I'll be accepting hand outs from any random strangers. So if anyone wants to shoot a couple hundred dollars my way. PM me and we can arrange it.