Dr. Pomade

I didn't really mean any of it. Sometimes I just type things because I enjoy the sight of my own font.

Cordell, here's your big chance to pounce while blood's in the water, and you come out with that? :no:

Hal and Phil are like the immovable object versus the irresistable force. How the Kitchen hasn't managed to implode when they start at each other is beyond me.

Please hold very still, as we're getting a rare look of what logic looks like in the wild.

What the hell?

I knew that would not be lost on everyone.

Phil's one of the best shit-talkers on this board. Some people may take issue with the substance/quality of his rants, but the dude is relentless. Having the Kitchen named after him is far from a travesty. And are we really now talking about post counts? :dumb: Let's not.

LOL, understood.

I've always taken great satisfaction in helping the "learning disabled" with reading comprehension. Pro bono work can be the most fulfilling, at times.

1. Talk shit about Kitchen greatness to a "senior member" that at one time had the Kitched named after him. 2. Talk that shit right after criticizing someone for being ironical. Here is your lifetime achievement award from the Irony Society. Your irony cannot get any greater.

Some chicks are into bald guys. Too bad you're not into chicks or else you could have a good thing going.

This is what a sigh of relief looks like in the form of a post on a messageboard.

Notice my use of quotes?

Honestly, no, I was not a "nerd" in high school. For better or worse, I was considered "popular" in high school (whatever that means). Not that it really matters now, but I figured I'd clarify anyway. P.S. I've always considered myself a bit of a nerd, insofar as I have a number of fairly diverse intellectual interests. Nerdiness in junior high got you laughed at; nerdiness as an adult (when paired with, say, some Rock N Republic jeans, Burberry colonge, and some hair product) will get you laid by women that consider themselves "intellectuals."

Only gays would intentionally avoid the girls in the photo. Thanks for the insight into your psyche, Captain Homo.

JOHNNY BRAVO THINKS SHE IS HOT LOLZ IDIOT http://www.redsarmy.com/photos/adriana_lima/adriana-lima-bw-9-740x1024.jpg

HAY GUISE TILLEY WANTED TO HAVE SEX WITH THIS GIRL LOLOLOLOL WHAT A NERD http://static2.blip.pl/user_generated/update_pictures/916488.jpg

You mean did I want to hook up with multiple attractive women in bikinis when I was in high school? I still do, you fucking troglodyte. You suck at insults.

More douche, which is better. Now stop fucking up my compliments by making me stop to explain shit to you.

Were you so good in basketball that you didn't know that field goal percentage was also a basketball statistic? Because when I said field goal percentage I wasn't talking about how many times you kicked a ball through the uprights, retard.

Every time I post three times in a row, Gabe's former D&D playing boss tells him to go get him another coffee.

Not sure if it shows or not, but I actually like Juiced. He scores high on the Le Douche scale, which I enjoy.

No one cares about your wardrobe, nerd.

I now understand your insecurity around intelligence.