I don't really have a problem with band like Mercy Me and such, unless they are in the church. If a person was saved out of a life of Rock and Roll, alcohol, drugs ect., they don't need the band at church to stir up old memories. Kind of like when a food addict smells their favorite food, they want it and the smell may be enough to cause them to fail.
As far as women being pastors, the book of timothy states how the church is to be organized. This verse can be taken out of context. It only refers to duties within the church and does not elude to work, government, ect.
BTW... If you go to a church and the pastor drinks and smokes at home, I would leave too.