On the finding a home side of things...
On both homes, I used a Realtor to set up apts for a few weeks. In both cases, I was searching on-line on my own time every day, and I found each of the houses I ended up buying by myself. There are pros and cons to using your own Realtor (every Realtor will insist you have to use one), but if I ever do it again, I will find the home myself and if the seller is using a Realtor, work a deal where we drop the price x% lower to deduct what "my" Realtor commission would be.
Neither Realtor makes a dime if the home doesn't sell, so I have found them all to be on the pushy side - "Soooo, ready to sign an offer today?" or "If you want this, we have to make an offer TONIGHT!" Bullshit.
On the loan side of things... talk to SEVERAL places. Don't just take whatever the first lender has to say as gospel.
And, just like in a car buyer-vs-car lot transaction, everything is negotiable.
EDIT - oh yeah, and if needed, get a 2nd line of credit / mortgage / equity line to avoid PMI.