I don't know how much my husband makes and he's probabbly not so sure about how much I make. Those figures only seem to come up when it comes to tax filing time. What we do know is that we each direct deposit from our paychecks the same amount each to cover the cost of our mortgage and shared expenses into a joint account. This account solely for those expenses and autopay is set up. The extra money builds up to cover any unexpected shared expenses like home repairs/improvements. Each's own extra money is each's own. That's how we handled money before we were married and how it is handled now. In your situation, it doesn't matter if you tell her or not. If you do and you find she wants to make some changes, you say that you don't want to right now. If she gets mad about that, she'll have to get over it because there's no reason to be mad. If her feelings are hurt from that, you'll have to reassure her that it's not because you don't want to at all, just that now is not the time if that is the case and she'll have to get over it. If you don't and she finds out and gets mad, she'll have to get over it because there's no reason to be mad anyway.