Tourette's Thread

[redbarron77]

what the flying fuck is going on today?? this anal raping piece of filth is sideways fucking my Friday!

[kawi kid]

fuck life

[MadMax33]

May you be forever fucked in the ass by the syphilitic cocks of a thousand AIDS-infected faggots!

[redbarron77]

oh yeah......buy a fucking GOAT! I've put off getting my bike for more than 5 fucking years!!! Yet we can buy a goddamn baby fucking goat! I can't even eat the fucker, because it's been fed from a bottle, and she'll be attached to the fucking thing. Let's not forget getting livestock, which requires me to put up a couple THOUSAND yards of fencing, with the temps in the "your balls have cooked off" range. We need to expand the pond to water these shit producers, thereby putting my bike purchase another sidewaysfucking DECADE into the future!!! About the time I'll be able to "get" my bike, I'll need a goddamn walker just to get to the fucking thing!

Now do you guys know why I started this thread?

[redbarron77]

oh shit.....not just one, but two fucking goats???? Where in the flying fuck am I going to have time to feed, water, hay these smelly little fuckers? At what god-damn point am I supposed to get a vacation? If I don't get a chance to unwind from all the bullshit, I'm going to just go off the fucking deepend, and take every asshole with me!!!!

[InyaAzz]

red, man, you need to put your foot down. LOL

[redbarron77]

obviously, the painkillers have numbed your brain, or you have not been married......

[jagr]

send your story to Oprah, she'll probably buy you a bike.

If not you can tell me what you really feel to include the following:

You're the saddest, piss-poor excuse for a man I've ever seen, you chromosome-deficient, uber-impotent, rat-faced tard-popsicle. Married, eh? Since when did brother and sister marriages become legal? If you're average looking, I'm Brad Pitt. Your face should be sued for attempting to impersonate a human, you freakish gargoyle. You're a neo-Nazi, fundamentalist militant Republican-voting mega-asshole scumbag. You four-eyed, cerebrally-deluded, Einstein-impersonating, pseudo-intellectual nerdturd with a head full of misfiring synapses. How come you're so tall? Did your mother mate with a giraffe? If you were ever kidnapped and eaten by a cannibal tribe, they'd all die of high cholesterol, you fat, flabby, fumbling fuck. Professional, my ass. You couldn't win a cigar after giving birth in a tobacco field in Havana, you clueless, uber-incompetent fuckwit. I've seen wounds that were better dressed than you are. Do yourself and everyone else a favor: jump into a raging forest fire. Sound good?

Or maybe Oprah will hook you up. i dont know . could go either way.

[InyaAzz]

obviously, the painkillers have numbed your brain, or you have not been married......

Negative to both. Brain still sharp, and I was married for 8 years.

[MadMax33]

What he said...Do your balls sweat alot from being inside of your wife's purse?

[redbarron77]

Balls? Those were removed when the vows were taken, then I ad them removed through my fucking wallet during my first divorce, never got them back after being put in a meat grinder, then after getting anew set, had to turn the fuckers in when I re-married.

Why in the flying fuck did I do something that phucking stupid???

btw jagr, do you have Oprah's #? I want a really expensive one if she's buying. And good rant there.

[bigbluebird]

fucking goat fed mice larva piss

[jagr]

Balls? Those were removed when the vows were taken, then I ad them removed through my fucking wallet during my first divorce, never got them back after being put in a meat grinder, then after getting anew set, had to turn the fuckers in when I re-married.

Why in the flying fuck did I do something that phucking stupid???

btw jagr, do you have Oprah's #? I want a really expensive one if she's buying. And good rant there.

The phone number is 312-591-9222.

http://gochicago.about.com/od/newspapersradiotvweb/a/oprah_tickets.htm

[MadMax33]

Wow, you should have figured out the marriage scam the first time out but I heard goats make great milk. If push comes to shove, you can open up a petting zoo and use the profits to get a bike...

[redbarron77]

Last time I had a farm, with livestock, I had a petting zoo.

Then a whole bunch of guys showed up on bikes, with OR stickers, never took off their helmets, so I have no idea who they were:wink:.....paid me cash to keep quiet....my wife got all the money, and all I end up with is a bunch of sheep dropping the UGLIEST babies you've ever seen!

But they were the fastest fucking baby sheep on the planet!

[MadMax33]

Sorry, I am not Australian...

[redbarron77]

Sorry, I am not Australian...

but are you Amish?