Buck531 Posted November 15, 2006 Report Share Posted November 15, 2006 EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY: Company Policy: Effective from 11/20/06 Dress Code It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. Sick Days We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Personal Days Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. Bereavement Leave This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early. Toilet Use Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offenders Category". Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy. Lunch Break Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast. _______________________________________________ Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rally Pat Posted November 15, 2006 Report Share Posted November 15, 2006 I just read that in a quiet study hall and just about burst out with laughter. Props to you sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimTheAzn Posted November 15, 2006 Report Share Posted November 15, 2006 ^^hah im in class too^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laxboy2k7 Posted November 15, 2006 Report Share Posted November 15, 2006 ^^im sitting next to him...in class^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimTheAzn Posted November 15, 2006 Report Share Posted November 15, 2006 ^^whoah really?.........dude you are^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6 Speed S4 Posted November 15, 2006 Report Share Posted November 15, 2006 haha im class too.. pretty funny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lustalbert Posted November 15, 2006 Report Share Posted November 15, 2006 I am in a chiese resteraunt. Stealing WiFi kicks ass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sully Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 I'm at work....FTL!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 I think everyone's in class reading this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gergwheel1647545492 Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 I am in a chiese resteraunt. Stealing WiFi kicks ass. why does a chinese restaraunt have wifi?? im at work and that is still funny stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BloodRed Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 why does a chinese restaraunt have wifi?? I am not sure, but I know all Panda Express' have them. Not sure if you really consider that a chinese restaraunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimTheAzn Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 lol yea...class is boring so i just post here all day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laxboy2k7 Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 lol yea...class is boring so i just post here all day so true..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
351mach11647545510 Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 I am in my boxers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mushijobah Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 I am whacking it. Funny post! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6 Speed S4 Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 Im naked in class Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 im sleeping in class listening my teacher drone on and on about Macbeth. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mushijobah Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 Highschool? College? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6 Speed S4 Posted November 16, 2006 Report Share Posted November 16, 2006 senior in highschool Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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