El Karacho1647545492 Posted August 15, 2007 Report Share Posted August 15, 2007 I've traveled to all of them in the past 3 weeks; Detroit, Toledo, Cleveland, Akron, Canton, Louisville (Loo'vuhll), and Indianapolis. Seriously, the rest of the midwest can blow my ass. So let's do a rundown of why each one sucks so horribly. D-town: Ahhh, Rock City. You've given us countless great rappers and rockers, yet you fail to not be a complete shithole. When I was there, I was at the Magic Stick to see a concert, and when I was leaving I saw a guy beating the ever loving shit out of some woman. I called the cops. Possible redeeming qualities: Woodward Dream Cruise, Detroit Red Wings, the beginning of muscle cars as we know them. Toledo: Every time I drive up to Detroit, I'm forced to see the prelude to Detroit's shittyness; Toledo. From I-75 you can see fire belching into the atmosphere from a dozen smokestacks. What a lung-destroying welcome. I stayed there for a business trip, and realized this city is completely un-navigable. The blocks aren't squares, or even rectangles. No, Toledo tried to add some class by only designing their traffic system based on the black sheep of the parallelogram family, rhombuses. Possible redeeming qualities: It ain't Detroit. Cleveland: Where do I start? The Browns have recently inherited one of the bitchiest looking football players in history, and though everyone in Ohio secretly hopes he succeeds, they will be disappointed. Its basically a city of dive bars and fans proud of shitty teams. Possible redeeming qualities: Rock n Roll Hall of Fame, Cleveland Cavaliers, the fact that they're so close to Lake Erie they'll probably devolve into one-celled organisms within 50 years. Canton: Not much to this place. It just fucking sucks. Possible redeeming qualities: Football Hall of Fame. Ak-Rowdy: The only good news I received from Akron recently was news that a tornado touched down closeby. Unfortunately, everyone survived. Possible redeeming qualities: Fuck Akron. Louisville: Why the fuck is everyone from Louisville so goddamn proud of it? So you can go 70 on the highways. Who cares? Oh, you say you have hundreds of parkways? And you can do U-turns? Well awesome, you can go to Detroit to do that and at least you'll be treated to the occasional wife-beating as entertainment. I swear to God, nothing fucking happens in Louisville. They like to pretend they're from the South, but they don't think they have accents and consider themselves to have Northern class. They couldn't decide in the 1860s (Civil War era, for all you tards) and they can't decide now. Go to hell, you shitheads. Possible redeeming qualities: U of L kids know how to party, Kentucky Derby gives everyone a reason to gamble and drink heavily without all the whores that Las Vegas offers. Wait...that's not redeeming at all. Indianapolis: Where the fuck do I even start? They should change "Indianapolis" to "Land of the Neverending Projects." This whole goddamn city is a ghetto. Then there's the Colts. Now, as a Patriots fan, I'm definitely biased. But you know, I can't hate the Colts; Anthony Gonzalez is my boy! So in that case, fuck Payton Manning. Seriously. The only person who looks more retarded than he does is Eli. You know that new commercial where Archie is teaching Matt Leinart to throw? That's a stolen home movie. Even Archie hates his sons. And then there's the Indianapolis Motor Speedway; the Brickyard. With the USGP gone, this place is reserved for the level of rednecks that make even rednecks wonder what happened to the class in racing. Then there's the parking. The only thing IMS contributes to the community besides a bit of history is giving the lowlifes around the shithole a chance to charge $20 to park your car on their lawn. Free water you say? What a deal! Possible redeeming qualities: With the USGP gone, I really do think this place is a black hole of class, causing anyone with any money to be instantly spaghettified (look it up) and smooshed into a singularity. So, CR, tell me what cities you hate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceGhost Posted August 15, 2007 Report Share Posted August 15, 2007 Gary, IN the armpit of the midwest kills them all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Karacho1647545492 Posted August 15, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 15, 2007 Gary, IN the armpit of the midwest kills them all. True...Gary, IN provided us with the likes of Tank Johnson and Michael Jackson Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Steve Posted August 15, 2007 Report Share Posted August 15, 2007 I liked indianapolis. Circle City classic. I have to admit, looks like shit though!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Posted August 15, 2007 Report Share Posted August 15, 2007 Gary, IN the armpit of the midwest kills them all. Yeah. I was depressed just riding by in a train. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrMeanGreen Posted August 15, 2007 Report Share Posted August 15, 2007 I am curious to see what Super 70 will look like when completed. Shittiest city? Flint, Michigan. DMZ, like bringing Saigon to the Western Hemisphere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Karacho1647545492 Posted August 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 I am curious to see what Super 70 will look like when completed. Shittiest city? Flint, Michigan. DMZ, like bringing Saigon to the Western Hemisphere. Haha my friend's mom is from Flint, and she said that Michael Moore's movie (Farenheit 9/11) didn't do justice to just how huge of a wasteland it is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Jones Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 I happen to enjoy Louisville. I liked the fact that I could walk the streets of downtown Louisville @ 2AM safely on a weekend. There were cops ushering away any vagrants and we had some great food. Not an "exciting", but rather safe/neutral place to be. Felt very comfortable there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Karacho1647545492 Posted August 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 I guess I just don't feel safe in a city that doesn't have hoards of drunken college students stumbling home at 2am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 I happen to enjoy Louisville. I liked the fact that I could walk the streets of downtown Louisville @ 2AM safely on a weekend. There were cops ushering away any vagrants and we had some great food. Not an "exciting", but rather safe/neutral place to be. Felt very comfortable there. I can't seem to find a ghetto down there...and I go down there quite a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Jones Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 I can't seem to find a ghetto down there...and I go down there quite a bit. Exactely! I wouldn't walk through downtown Columbus @ 2AM if my life depended on it. Mind you, its not nearly as bad as other cities but still. In Louisville, Its bright, well patrolled and I literally feel comfortable walking around. We saw 2 homeless people while we were there begging for money. They were promptly removed by the police who were in abundance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berto Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 I really happen to enjoy Indianapolis. Talk about racing shithole like Columbus isn't one? Columbus Motor Speedway? are you serious? at least our speed way isn't a circle, litterally. And the trashy people that attend those races make the rednecks here look like diplomats. Columbus doesn't have never ending projects? Super 70 started less than a year ago. . How long has there been construction at 161 and 270? Indianapolis is a great town. You can go party by the circle or go up to broad ripple. Way more partying than in Columbus, oh and throw a 3 am last call in there too. If you are griping about Indianapolis because your lame Patriots got beat then you better drive through again and get another look because they are going to get whooped this year too. ***this is all in jest, I really like Columbus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Karacho1647545492 Posted August 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 hahahahaha you must be joking about the patriots sucking. Linebacker matchup: Roosevelt Colvin, Tedi Bruschi, Mike Vrabel, Adalius Thomas with Junior Seau waiting to run in VERSUS Gary Brackett, Rob Morris, Freddy Keiaho...awesome Tom versus Payton is always a show. Marvin Harrison and Reggie Wayne are good, but there's no depth. Randy Moss, Donte Stallworth ,Kelley Washington, Wes Welker, dare I go on? And Joseph Addai? Don't make me laugh. Again, no depth. Laurence "Koolaid" Maroney, Kevin Faulk, and Sammy Morris. Consistent yard-gainers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 um anything north of 70 sucks everyone knows that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty2Hotty Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 Killeen, Texas. Shittiest, most ghetto piece of trash land in all of the United States of America. Glad I'm no longer living there :barf: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Karacho1647545492 Posted August 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 yeah, but that's not midwest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty2Hotty Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 So, CR, tell me what cities you hate. Your question, and your answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mallard Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 I lived in Flint, MI for 4 years (school) and that is a complete shithole. That said, Detroit is too, but at least the suburbs are nice, and they're working to clean up downtown. There are just no jobs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitrousbird Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 Exactely! I wouldn't walk through downtown Columbus @ 2AM if my life depended on it. Shawn, it is readily apparent you don't go out to any clubs/bars. There really isn't much going on down town at 2am...and by that I mean there isn't anyone there. Gerbil Village, sure. Nationwide Area, sure. Otherwise, a random club here and there, but nothing scary coming out of any of them (all too expensive to drag in the lowest tier of clients). I'd have no problem at all walking downtown at 2am. Now just east (over 71) or west (over the water) of downtown at 2am...F' that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotty2Hotty Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 Otherwise, a random club here and there, but nothing scary coming out of any of them (all too expensive to drag in the lowest tier of clients). I consider cross dressers scary. I run or throw things @ them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpaceGhost Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 Columbus doesn't have never ending projects? Super 70 started less than a year ago. . How long has there been construction at 161 and 270? For over 10 years now! I drove through it the first time they built it from sunbury rd to past new albany..... Fuck I wish it was done, it is getting close! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stevethepirate Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 its not the midwest... but the whole state of new jersey! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Karacho1647545492 Posted August 16, 2007 Author Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 at least 40% of my friends at BU are from New Jersey and all of them seem to think it is some divine sanctuary. I fucking hate New Jersey. They might as well split it up into "Other New York" and "Other Philadelphia". But if New Jersey is the armpit of America, then Baltimore is the asshole. Baltimore completely sucks, bar nothing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinkinhood Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 Well ya know what they say: "Jersey Girls arn't trash......trash gets picked up." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuckeyeGT Posted August 16, 2007 Report Share Posted August 16, 2007 im not a big fan of columbus myself. areas like brice rd. and most of the south side make me wanna puke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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