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****A LOL Thread?****


Sam1647545489

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the jag one would have been best on a new mazda....

it s been done too much

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NEW THREAT LEVELS

 

 

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist

/threats, and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed"

to "Peeved". Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to

"Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross". The English have not been "A Bit

Cross" since the blitz in 1940, when tea supplies nearly ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody

Nuisance". The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning

level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

 

 

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get

the Bastards". They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they

have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300

years.

 

 

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror

alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levels in France

are "Collaborate" and "Surrender". The rise was precipitated by a recent

fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing

the country's military capability.

 

 

 

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to

"Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective

Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".

 

 

 

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"

to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They also have two higher

levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".

 

 

 

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only

threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

 

 

 

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.

These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish

navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

 

 

 

Canada doesn't have any alert levels.

 

 

 

New Zealand has raised its security levels - from "baaa" to "BAAAA". Due

to continuing defense cutbacks, New Zealand has only one more level of

escalation, which is "I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

 

 

 

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to

"She'll be alright, mate". Three more escalation levels remain:

"Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and

"The barbie is cancelled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of

the final escalation level.

 

 

 

 

Americans meanwhile, as usual, are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on

all of their allies "just in case".

..

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