Having a Bad Day?

[Aesthetic_Influx]

Make yourself feel better and have a laugh:

 

http://www.fmylife.com

[Draco-REX]

Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

LOL!

[Aesthetic_Influx]

Some of my favorites:

 

Today, I put on the same jeans that I had left in a bundle in my bedroom the day before. A few hours later, my boxer shorts decided to make their

spectacular reappearance trick at the bottom of my leg in the middle of one of my meetings. FML

 

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was

my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

 

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

[stangsn95gt]

Today, I woke from last night after meeting the most amazing man, and after giving him a good morning kiss, roll out of bed to use his bathroom. After using his toothbrush, I go to replace it in his holder only to find not one, but several prescriptions for herpes in his unzipped toiletry bag. FML

 

lol

[kenny]

Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML

 

rofl

[ODoyle]

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much turkey at a family reunion. When I looked around the room over 20 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

[ODoyle]

Today, I drunkenly buried my girlfriends recently deceased cat. Later she asked to see it and came back inside crying. It turns out I didn't bury it completely and it's back two legs were poking out of the dirt. FML

 

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a Moderator, instead, I got banned. FML

[Sully]

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

 

 

I want to know if he kept pounding it! LoL!

[87GT]

This site is great.

[SpaceGhost]

Today, my wife left me the following voicemail: “Alex, last night was amazing. You took me to places I’ve never been to before. I can’t wait to see you tonight after work.” My name is Rob. We haven’t had sex in two years. FML

[Sully]

Today, I slept with this new guy for the first time. After sex, he said the doggie style postion was fun, it reminded him what it would be like to rape a girl. FML

 

Winnar!!

[Ramsey]

all humor

[Sully]

Today, I got a haircut and the first thing the lady asked was "so do you want to keep the mullet?". What mullet?! FML

 

BWAHAHAHA!!! Ok, who on here was it?

[1fynz]

Today, my boyfriend asked me to go to a car show. I told him to hold on, I had to ask my mom. I quietly asked her to say no for me. She said "Sure!". FML

 

HA!

[Main3s]

Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she proceeded to do nothing, and went back to bed. FML

 

^^ This could be me

[ICEMAN1647545504]

Lot of good ones there...

[ImUrOBGYN]

That's pretty funny. I'll have to check it out. May even have to add my own.

[ImUrOBGYN]

lol

 

Today, while my 4 year old nephew was hugging me, he stepped back and declared, "Auntie, my Pee-do is hard, but it will go away." FML

 

Today, I decided to send my boyfriend a pic text of me naked. I accidently sent it to my dad and got a text back saying "You definitely take after your mom". FML

[Smokey]

the site is definitely addicting and hilarious.

 

Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML

 

I laughed for a good 2 minutes out loud at that one