SAMBUSA Posted January 30, 2009 Report Share Posted January 30, 2009 I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.FOR EXAMPLE:One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennisI think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is alldear, let's go to the cashier.'I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she knows I'm smarter than her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wolfman Posted January 30, 2009 Report Share Posted January 30, 2009 :lol: AHAHAHA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lamar Vannoy Posted January 30, 2009 Report Share Posted January 30, 2009 OMG that's awesome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrisknight Posted January 30, 2009 Report Share Posted January 30, 2009 Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fonzie Posted January 30, 2009 Report Share Posted January 30, 2009 Oldie but definitely a goodie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brennan Posted January 30, 2009 Report Share Posted January 30, 2009 Bahahahahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
12oclocker Posted January 31, 2009 Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.FOR EXAMPLE:One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfit s. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennisI think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is alldear, let's go to the cashier.'I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least she knows I'm smarter than her.Sir I would like to shake your hand and buy you a drink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAMBUSA Posted January 31, 2009 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 Sir I would like to shake your hand and buy you a drink. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jagr Posted January 31, 2009 Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 Nice!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbrjess0815 Posted January 31, 2009 Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pocar Posted January 31, 2009 Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DOSE LUV Posted January 31, 2009 Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 That is priceless Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gump Posted January 31, 2009 Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 Awesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EagleCock Posted January 31, 2009 Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 classic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ron Burgundy Posted January 31, 2009 Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
that dude Posted January 31, 2009 Report Share Posted January 31, 2009 sambusa- that was some funny f-n shit right there...even better if you actually did it..that would take some big balls Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cdubyah Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 I always enjoy that story. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troyec001 Posted February 2, 2009 Report Share Posted February 2, 2009 That has got to be one of my favorites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kawi kid Posted February 3, 2009 Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 yes Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbrjess0815 Posted February 3, 2009 Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 sambusa- that was some funny f-n shit right there...even better if you actually did it..that would take some big ballsrevenge would go a lil something like this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Soeb-xo-970 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
exSRAaron Posted February 3, 2009 Report Share Posted February 3, 2009 im making my g/f read this later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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