For sale ads....funny stuff

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...What the ad say's... ..... ..... ........ .... .................... .................... What the ad "really" should say

 

 

1. needs minor repairs.................................................................has 1 or more rods coming out the oil pan

 

 

2. should be a simple fix............................................I tried to replace some parts and now it won't run at all

 

 

3. has rust in the usual places..........................................................it's been sittin in the woods for 20 years

 

 

4. crate motor..............................apparently a can of orange paint can add 200 h.p. and unlimited cubic inch diplacement

 

 

5. I would fix it but don't have the time........................a neighbor tried to fix it and now I don't know what it needs

 

 

6. minor body damage ........................except for the telephone pole in the passenger seat, the rest of the body is straight

 

 

7. pro-street.............................................my cousin Bubba put on an "Elderbrook intake" and Jegs traction bars.................................................( ya , I really know how to spell Edelbrock)

 

 

8. Will trade for about anything, "sho me wat u got"........................it has a blown head gasket and need to unload it on some other dumb ass

 

 

9. One owner/low miles.......................................it broke down 10 years ago, and been sittin in a field ever since

 

 

10. Selling for payoff/ take over the payments.....................................I really overpaid and are so far upside down I see Tokyo, ....looking to find someone dumber than me

 

 

11. runs great, but may need a tune up.......................................................... only hitting on 5 out of 6 cylinders and only smokes for the first 25 miles or loss of oil pressure, whichever comes first

 

 

12. project, no time to finish, lost interest..........................................I can't change my own spark plugs, but that didn't stop me from taking everything apart, now I can't remember where it goes

 

 

13. Fast and Furious........................................somehow putting on fake carbon fiber dash trim adds 100 h.p.

 

 

14. 1984 "cutty" - classic show car............................................................ya....sure......when Charlton Heston lands on The planet of the Apes

 

 

15. rat rod ......................................................................see # 3 ....includes a can of flat black spray paint

 

 

16. Need to sell today !..............................................................my boyfriends in jail and I need bail money

 

 

17. We finance any credit !............................................desperate to sell any car on the lot, .........prepare to make payments for 10 years

 

 

18. Will sell weekend only $1500... it goes back up next week to $2000.00.......................I just read Nancy Pelosi's book................"How to screw up the economy".............apparently she has a limo

 

 

19. Price reduced, won't last long..................................................I just hope it lasts long enough to sell it to the next smuck,......I just put in 3 jars of motor honey

 

 

20. rebuilt title/ but never been in an accident.................................................................. See # 6

 

 

21. Car in " Show room condition'".........................................hasn't moved out of my driveway for a year, needs a transmission

 

 

22. "Anniversary Edition.............................................Abracadabra !.............every 4 or 6 cylinder Camaro made that year is transformed into the Anniversary Edition

 

 

23. Sold " as is", no title..........................................I managed to screw the "Buy here, pay here " lot out of the last 20 payments

 

 

24. " turn Key"......................................................................................................that's about all that turns

[Diamonds]

hilarious an true!!