smokin5s Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 I have a friend with a step daughter. She has been able to get away with everything for as long as he has known her. Back in December, she cussed him out and when he went to ground her, she called her grandmother and she has been living there ever since. Now she wants to come back and he said that she has to serve her punishment if she comes home. His wife is saying she was punished at gma's, but yet she went to friends houses daily as well as was grounded for a week (he has the txt's to prove it) before the cussing out ever took place so he thinks she should still serve another week of grounding regardless if she was "grounded" at her grand parents or not. His wife is now threatening divorice if he doesn't cave saying he's holding a grudge. Who's right? What would you do in this situation? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LJ Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Sounds like the wife is just as spoiled Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedfocus1647545489 Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Divorce. If 2 people can't agree on how not to have their kid turn out to be a shitbag, they probably shouldn't be together, even if it's a step-kid. Let them win once and it's only a matter of time until the same ploy will be used again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copperhead Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Not his kid, the reality is he probably isn't the legal guardian and has no authority over the kid unless the wife gives it to him. If she isn't going to support his decisions then the relationship is probably going to fail one way or another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farkas Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Grounding a child doesn't do dick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rocky31186 Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Kids these days dont get punished enough in my book.. I would agree with him and say she needs grounded.. Otherwise she will think she can call grandma and get a "get out of jail free card" everytime she is in trouble.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Dont let the door hit you on the way out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokin5s Posted March 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 He is the legal guardian and she told him no one in their right mind would agree with him because he is just "holding a grudge" against her so i told him i would post it and see who is right. Oh ya they also have kids together even though divorce might be imminate, he wants things to work out but is not willing to give in because he has been making that mistake for years. As far as what farkas said, it only doesnt do good if its not inforced and the other party is making them think they did no wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thorne Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 GTFO fuck that noise Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Bruh Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Just slip that hoe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
verse Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 I'd probably ground her and take away her phone, no texts or facebook shit. That seems to be the best punishment for younger kids these days. They obviously need to be on the same page though. If she's going to be an idiot and let the girl walk all over them then he might as well get out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokin5s Posted March 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 ya dude, I've seen that girl break down into serious tears over losing her phone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nurkvinny Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 With only knowing what you posted... absolutely make her server her grounding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagner Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Divorces are spensive... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs.cos Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Sounds like there are some serious boundry issues that need dealt with as a family unit. If the parents are working as a single unit the daughter will continue t his behavior. Sounds like some family counseling is needed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nurkvinny Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 So, I spoke to a social worker just now about this. Their opinion is that expecting the daughter to "serve" her time is reasonable, and would only be unreasonable if the girl is young, say 4-6, where she did not fully understand the consequences of her actions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twistedfocus1647545489 Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Divorces are spensive... ...because it's worth it. (sometimes) Besides, the day I receive a threat of divorce over some dumb shit is the day I file the papers myself. :fuckyeah: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokin5s Posted March 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 So, I spoke to a social worker just now about this. Their opinion is that expecting the daughter to "serve" her time is reasonable, and would only be unreasonable if the girl is young, say 4-6, where she did not fully understand the consequences of her actions. She's 14..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokin5s Posted March 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Just found out more info, her punishment at her grandparents was being grounded for the weekend... so she didn't even serve a week's grounding when she was supposed to serve 2 weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richard Cranium Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 I'd agree that some family counceling is in order. The adults (mother and step-father) need to work as a team and be in agreement, otherwise the kids will play them off against each other and win every time. Never let the kids divide and conquer. While I'm not a parent, I do understand that you have to be careful with what you say, and you have to follow through with it every time. Otherwise the kids will learn that you don't mean what you say, and that you will waffle if they put you on the spot and make you live up to your word. Depending on the history 2 weeks sounds a little bit much, but if that's what he said, then that's what he has to do. I'm a fan of making the kid stew a little bit while I calm down and rationally think through what I'm going to do. Oh, and they are grounded (no friends, phone, etc...) while I'm thinking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirks5oh Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 She needs to serve the time. I'd crush the cell phone right in front of her and take away fagbook for two weeks. She has to do chores to earn money to buy another cell phone. Or she can go live with grandma for good. I'd say divorce is imminent without 3rd party input (counseling) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xyster101 Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Grounding a child doesn't do dick. 100% disagree, it worked for me. Forced me to keep good grades and do less troubling things. Agreed with what is said above. As an educator we see kids play off divorced parents all the time. One parent is the "good" parent, basically lets kids get away with anything. One parent is the "bad" who cares, grounds, holds kids accountable. She needs to serve her sentence. Mom should not have let her leave to grandma's in the first place. Mom needs to be grounded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokin5s Posted March 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 I'd agree that some family counceling is in order. The adults (mother and step-father) need to work as a team and be in agreement, otherwise the kids will play them off against each other and win every time. Never let the kids divide and conquer. While I'm not a parent, I do understand that you have to be careful with what you say, and you have to follow through with it every time. Otherwise the kids will learn that you don't mean what you say, and that you will waffle if they put you on the spot and make you live up to your word. Depending on the history 2 weeks sounds a little bit much, but if that's what he said, then that's what he has to do. I'm a fan of making the kid stew a little bit while I calm down and rationally think through what I'm going to do. Oh, and they are grounded (no friends, phone, etc...) while I'm thinking. She was grounded for something else first.... It wasn't 2 weeks for the cussing out although I think 2 weeks is justified for the cussing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evan9381 Posted March 7, 2012 Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 http://www.columbusracing.com/forums/showthread.php?t=95719 http://www.columbusracing.com/forums/showthread.php?t=99013&highlight=divorce&page=2 post 48 Either you have a friend you just love to post about, or you need to quit being a pussy and say your step daughter wont quit being a fucking cunt. Lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokin5s Posted March 7, 2012 Author Report Share Posted March 7, 2012 Believe it or not there is more than 1 14 year old in Columbus and even crazier I have friends that are parents with my kids friends... Crazy world! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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