Jump to content

looking for advice to see what everyone thinks...


smokin5s
 Share

Recommended Posts

I have a friend with a step daughter. She has been able to get away with everything for as long as he has known her. Back in December, she cussed him out and when he went to ground her, she called her grandmother and she has been living there ever since. Now she wants to come back and he said that she has to serve her punishment if she comes home. His wife is saying she was punished at gma's, but yet she went to friends houses daily as well as was grounded for a week (he has the txt's to prove it) before the cussing out ever took place so he thinks she should still serve another week of grounding regardless if she was "grounded" at her grand parents or not.

 

His wife is now threatening divorice if he doesn't cave saying he's holding a grudge.

 

Who's right? What would you do in this situation?

 

 

BEFORE the child is allowed back at the house, he needs to get his wife in check. They need to be on the same page about the child and her punishment as well as getting her on the right track. Sounds like she hasn't learned anything from the beginning and is only going to continue until she is completely uncontrollable and eventually on her own if the cops start bringing her home...

 

 

He is the legal guardian and she told him no one in their right mind would agree with him because he is just "holding a grudge" against her so i told him i would post it and see who is right.

 

Oh ya they also have kids together even though divorce might be imminate, he wants things to work out but is not willing to give in because he has been making that mistake for years.

 

As far as what farkas said, it only doesnt do good if its not inforced and the other party is making them think they did no wrong.

 

So he adopted her? If so, then he has 100% right to ground her and I would even add more time/punishment for pulling that BS and going to grandma's house. There is no "grudge" its called being responsible and sticking to his guns when the child is screwing up. She's 14, then she's old enough to know better and be punished for that crap.

 

Sounds like the real issue is the mom and fighting two battles. If he doesn't check things now with BOTH its only going to get worse...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i say get his gun out and shoot her laptop....

 

seriously though he does need to stick to the grounding and the mother needs to realise why, when she goes to grandma's to get out of being grounded so long then the full two weeks needs to be employed when she gets home, otherwise grandmas house is just a place to go to get out of trouble. also the wife needs to understand that at 14 kids are manipulative, they will use whatever they can to do whatever they want, she needs to understand that if she caves then the daughter will see that and use that to her advantage every time saying that her step-dad is always too hard on her or something. i myself dont have kids, but i remember very well being that age.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i say get his gun out and shoot her laptop....

 

 

repost. lol.

 

But seriously.

 

My house, my rules. My wife doesn't agree with me on some things but when it comes to punishing our children she agrees for the most part. I lay (or attempt to) the law down when they do the bad thing. Hell my 18 year old son still asks me if he can go out somewhere or what not to a friends house and asks when he should come home. He doesn't run the house.. I do. pretty simple.

 

Hell if my wife told me she'd divorce me after the first time I wanted to punish my children we'd be split a LONG time ago. What happened to hashing things out from each point of view? When we don't agree on something we both tell our sides and we come to an agreement.. and it doesn't end in "fuck you, I want a divorce."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The parents need to get on the same page or that kid is going to play them against each other. With that being said she should have to serve the punishment at his house under his supervision.

 

As for the wife threatening divorce - obviously she doesn't understand in the true meaning of a marriage and shouldn't have been married in the first place.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...