Match.com or the like...Anyone used them? Let me hear your horror stories

[wagner]

To the OP, very sorry to hear about your loss. I can't even imagine how hard that is.

 

As you can see, there are mixed results. I know people that are very happily married from who they meet in the online dating scene. While I know that's not what you are looking for right now, it speaks to the system working sometimes. But as you can see, there are at least as many horror stories. You just have to make sure you are ready for that, the horror stories part.

 

 

 

HEY, you are on a site like that, which is 99% dudes RIGHT NOW. Have you been out to any CR meets? Might make some friends, which it seems like you are really just wanting some adult companionship (friends of any sex that are just friends) more than anything. Those friends have other friends, some of which are guys too. Now that summer is geared up there is almost always something going on; HD meets, shit at Docs, Cars & Coffee, people going to race tracks. Some of it even very kid friendly, like Cars & Coffee.

 

I agree, I know people who have had great luck, and others who have some great horror stories.

 

This would be a great opprotunity to use CR as a networking tool and just meet people. Like pointed out above, you would be suprised the wide mix of people that come to CR events.

[silverhatch]

It seems to be about 50/50. I might hold off for a little while. I'm not really ready for any kind of relationship. I just want to go out and have a great summer, see some cars and spend time with my kids.

[10phone2]

That maybe the best option for you. I stumbled upon my wife just out on the town and not really looking for anything due to a history of bad relationships.

[smokinHawk1647545499]

all the chicks i have met online were crazy. i think i will take meeting by random chance instead.

 

but you have access to CR so post up your pic and let all the dbags here start messaging you

[LJ]

I met my wife on Plenty of Fish in spring of 2009. I guess the quality of that site has gone way way down though.

[El Karacho1647545492]

I can in no way relate to the loss of such a close loved one, but my now-girlfriend met me 3 days before her dad killed himself. I figured I'd never hear from her again (met her at a concert) but she called me up several weeks later looking for someone to hang out with who didn't know everything about the situation so she could escape. 5 months later we decided we were closer that just friends.

 

Sounds a little bit like what you're going through so I guess my advice is maybe try to reconnect with some good people from your past? All the girls I know who toyed with eharmony or match ended up in weird/bad situations with guys who have serious jealousy and image issues.

[Draco-REX]

Let's see. I'm ok with a girl being a little overweight. Hell, I am. I met this one girl on match.com and she said she was a little overwight, but not THAT fat. When we met for lunch she was a freakin' beachball on legs that had trouble fitting in the booth seat.

 

The only time I ever went on a date with a woman who didn't have a profile picture turned out to look JUST like one of my uncles. I'm not talking just a family resemblance. I'm talking strip the makeup and they could be twins.

 

I guess the moral of the story is, be prepared to go through a few matches.

 

The girl I'm dating now I met on a matchmaking site. We seem to mesh pretty well.

[Not Brian]

did you bang her? I've met some plumpkins online myself and gave zero fucks while riding those mopeds

[silverhatch]

I would rather not post up my pic. LOL. I know how all you leg humpers are. Seriously though, I'm overweight but I'm working out 3-4 days at the gym and I'm losing weight. I didn't have much time for myself before, my husband was disabled and that required a lot of my time. I'm still a really interesting chic if I do say so myself and I'm just looking for some new friends. Any friends that were our mutual friends won't speak to me hardly. I get " oh its too hard to see you and the kids" "its too soon I can't talk to you."

[jeffro]

no dice with OKcupid. guess im ugly

[87GT]

all the chicks i have met online were crazy.

 

All females are crazy just on different levels :dumb:

[twistedfocus1647545489]

I tried a few of these sites back in my single days and met a couple of nice girls but everyone misrepresented themselves and their personality at least a little. I don't think I did but maybe that's just instinctual to some extent and we just don't realize we're doing it. I'm kind of socially retarded, so even though I communicate okay online I lock up in social settings unless I'm with a group of people I know well. That probably made some of the online dates a little more awkward than they should have been also. I was more suited to double-dates with friends and such. I eventually met my wife through a good friend of mine (they used to work together) at a cookout he was having.

 

Most of these sites are geared toward a serious relationship or hookups. It sounds like you're not looking for either, so I agree with others that have said just getting with a group of like-minded individuals and hanging out is probably the best approach to keeping busy and getting out of the house. This way no one is looking to hook up or date necessarily, just out having fun.

[Mallard]

I would rather not post up my pic. LOL. I know how all you leg humpers are. Seriously though, I'm overweight but I'm working out 3-4 days at the gym and I'm losing weight. I didn't have much time for myself before, my husband was disabled and that required a lot of my time. I'm still a really interesting chic if I do say so myself and I'm just looking for some new friends. Any friends that were our mutual friends won't speak to me hardly. I get " oh its too hard to see you and the kids" "its too soon I can't talk to you."

Those people are not your friends. True friends would not be thinking only about themselves at a time like this. You need to definitely get out and find a way to meet new people.

[Guest Hal]

Beyond the online dating sites, which appear to be hit or miss, you could try a variety of different groups. Like someone else said, try joining a group for something you're interested in.

[iwashmycar]

I know of one guy who I met recently through my wife's work who is on Match. I say that because we aren't best friends or anything lol. He was talking to us about it and it really doesn't sound that bad. Just sounds like a decent place to meet people. We were out with him and a bunch of other people and he was texting back and forth with the lady he was going to go grab sushi with that weekend who he met on Match. The next week I asked how it went, and while I don't think they ended up going out again, he said they had had a good date and that was that.

 

I think most people are open-minded enough to just casually date and at the very least get out of the house and meet someone.... have a few laughs.

His recap on it all made me realize that it isn't a bunch of people forcing themselves into relationships just for the sake of doing so.... changed my perception of it at least, and being a little older now (out of college / bar scene, ect) I can see the value in it. I also always assumed it would warrant a lot of strange oddball people (no offense to those on there), but this guy is a normal, nice guy with a good job, ect, ect....so I believe I was wrong to conclude such things...

[mrs.cos]

 

HEY, you are on a site like that, which is 99% dudes RIGHT NOW. Have you been out to any CR meets? Might make some friends, which it seems like you are really just wanting some adult companionship (friends of any sex that are just friends) more than anything. Those friends have other friends, some of which are guys too. Now that summer is geared up there is almost always something going on; HD meets, shit at Docs, Cars & Coffee, people going to race tracks. Some of it even very kid friendly, like Cars & Coffee.

 

As a woman in the car scene, let me tell you.. coming to an event as a woman, with OTHER guys who are already your friends, is itimidating enough, going as a single woman who doesnt know anyone is going to be VERY tough.

[silverhatch]

Trish- So very true! This is why I haven't been to any meets/events yet. I know a few people from here but not many. I don't want to go and be on the sidelines because everyone already knows each other. I felt like that a couple times while out at Sawmill.

[mrs.cos]

Trish- So very true! This is why I haven't been to any meets/events yet. I know a few people from here but not many. I don't want to go and be on the sidelines because everyone already knows each other. I felt like that a couple times while out at Sawmill.

 

Come hang with me some night at byers.. much smaller crowd, and more casual

[Trouble Maker]

As a woman in the car scene, let me tell you.. coming to an event as a woman, with OTHER guys who are already your friends, is itimidating enough, going as a single woman who doesnt know anyone is going to be VERY tough.

 

Trish- So very true! This is why I haven't been to any meets/events yet. I know a few people from here but not many. I don't want to go and be on the sidelines because everyone already knows each other. I felt like that a couple times while out at Sawmill.

 

Come hang with me some night at byers.. much smaller crowd, and more casual

 

I get that, as much as I can. Even most guys feel a little like that the first time they go out to a meet. It's not just that your women around a bunch of leg humpers, etc. It's that you are a new person around an established group. The other factors just exacerbate the feeling.

 

Something more casual like C&C, or what it sounds like Byers is, would be great. Especially if you can go with another woman who does know the crowd, even if you don't know her yet.

 

If you want to come to C&C, let me know. I will personally make sure you feel as welcome as possible and introduce you to some people.

 

Oh, and fuck those people that say they are/were your friends. Come out to some meets and make new ones.

[Alex1647545498]

I tried online dating but like many others they didn't work out. It's better to just meet people through everyday encounters or through friends IMO.

[mmrmnhrm]

- I'm a success story.

- That doesn't mean there weren't an awful lot of losers, exaggerators/minimizers, or "just didn't hit it off" along the way.

 

Things to remember:

- Find some way of slipping a contact method into your profile or initial email. I remember seeing a stat a while back saying the non-subscription rate was as high as 90%

- Keep in mind that nobody's perfect... Sure you may like brunettes, but don't ignore someone just because she's blonde.

- Fer cryin out loud, always send a response, even if only to say "Sorry, but your snaggle tooth is worse than Jewel, and your chin could knock out Jay Leno."

[BBQdDude]

Tough call OP.

 

Questions for you...

 

1) Are you over the hubbies death completely?

2) Are you comfortable with yourself and what you are?

 

Biiiig thing is if you aren't whole on the inside don't even begin to try to find someone, it will be a bad choice.

 

If you are then by all means reach out to people. I did POF/match/eHarm. They all have pros and cons just like in life. You will need to block all the leg humpers, money grubbers, etc...they are obvious. Even the people who are honest about who they are and what they want only see life from their perspective. What they view as great you might think UUuuugh how did they think that. Take each message and think...is this a canned message sent out to a slew or did they mention something I wrote about. Once you find a few start emailing to get their way of thinking a little more out in the open. Once deciding to meet take notice when something does not got perfect, how do they react? Anyone can be great when things are smooooth it is when something goes out of kilter that the true inside person kicks in .

 

I wish you the best of luck.

[Bahnstoermer1647545488]

Let's see. I'm ok with a girl being a little overweight. Hell, I am. I met this one girl on match.com and she said she was a little overwight, but not THAT fat. When we met for lunch she was a freakin' beachball on legs that had trouble fitting in the booth seat.

 

Oh my god I'm laughing so hard....

[IVRINGS]

Come hang with me some night at byers.. much smaller crowd, and more casual

Who do you know at byers? Maybe I should ask what byers first...

 

 

Well just to give you a little something I meet my wife on Facebook. As much as I hate it at times, I did meet the girl that changed everything for me. My sister did meet/marry a guy from Match.com two years ago and seems to be doing great. Also a coworker just last year meet her husband on Plenty of Fish and loves the fact they got to meet. It all can be strange to start dating again. When I moved up here for a girl that was a CR memember (HotlilCavZ I think) and after 3 years that ended. I started just going on dates and didn't want to settle down and my now wife just keep wanting to do things together and the rest is history.

 

PS I'm sorry if that just is a pile of words above cause I'm tired after doing some work at the food bank this morning during work this afternon. Also I'm still looking out for you a deal on a car, but nothing has been looking at for you yet other then what I sent you before.

[verse]

I'm on Okcupid and Plenty of Fish. I've had pretty much no success, other than girls I already knew and saw on there. I've met so many bad ones, that I'm always very skeptical of any pictures of girls that message me. I'm just not into overweight women or tall women. I once met a girl who was honestly an almost identical personality as me. She was fun to be around, but when it got physical I found out she used to be 400lbs and had a ton of extra skin and it really creeped me out. Sounds shallow, but I can't change what I'm attracted to. I typically have my ex-wife look over the profiles and tell me what she thinks of the girl b/c she's pretty much been right about every one of them.

 

Just be up front about yourself... don't take myspace angle photos, don't edit your photos to make you seem smaller than you are. Like I said, I have nothing against bigger women, but when you make yourself seem "average" and you show up a "BBW", you're not going to get great results, IMO.