Need life advice

[wnaplay1647545503]

I know this is cr but hearing advice might help my decision making easier. I sincerely apologize for this rant.

 

Most know my situation, hurt 4 years ago, havent worked since, permanent injury. Fortunate when hurt to have access to reasonable amount of funds, enough to float me for a good while. I am compensated around 1/3 of my original wage and am told theres no way to change it. Each month I subsidize my income with my own money and by buying, trading and selling stuff as a hustle. I kinda knew but its become more obvious that the inevitable end to this will be running out of money.

 

I made a good living based on the fact I was willing to abuse my body, do whatever it took and was very loyal to my employer. I never had any education beyond high school but I have owned a small painting company for nearly 17 years. My wife has never really had to work the entire time we have been together.

 

Heres the situation, I have a few more things I can sell and make money on but once those are sold and that money runs out I am tapped. I could try to go to work but the reality is I believe it would be hard for an employer to agree with me needing to arrive and leave as needed(including calling off as needed) and sitting/standing/walking as needed per my injury and everything else it comes with. Add to that even if I go to work and dont make as much I will only be compensated the difference up to what I am making now which unless I find a crazy paying job that earns more than I do now, is basically the same as not putting myself through the physical/mental strain of working not to mention gas and all other costs that just goes into it.

 

Now to the cake shop. We started the cake shop as it was something my wife had worked at for years and I didnt want my injury to affect her dream. It didnt cost me a fortune to start and it sustains itself. However it has not translated into income which my wife could be bringing in each month if we shut it down and she found an actual job. It was a gamble which we knew and only gave it 1 year to produce or say goodbye to, I know thats not alot of time but it could have went either way and for it to sustain itself from day one is a miracle by itself for any new business.

 

Now what to do. I owe nobody a dime except this house. Once the extra money dries up(the inevitable) the parties over. I could sell everything which would buy me some time but not more than a few months. I could shut the shop down then we will wonder the rest of our lives what could have been but the wifey could go to work and we could probably make it and my injury will forever be known as the reason her dream was crushed. There is no future plans for my income to increase anywhere in the near future and could be years if it ever does. I could walk away from this house, find a cheaper place and have a go of it but I think why should I have to do that, I did nothing wrong other than go to work one day the same as everyone. I am lost and just to see what other people think.

[KillJoy]

That sucks. If the cake shop is floating on it's own, why close?

 

Can you not work at all, or just wacky stand / sit issues?

 

There is a job for EVERYONE. Nothing is beneath you if you need one.... just sayin'...

 

KillJoy

[AWW$HEEET]

1 yr is a very short time to get a business off the ground. That being said, with you being injured long term, if you shut down the shop, it wouldn't be you that "crushed her dream". You gave it a year, and it didn't work. I would tell her tough shit, and to go find a job. If she is serious about your marriage, she would realize that she is contributing nothing to it financially, squandering all her time there, and its all basically for her pleasure at that point. I don't know anyone who likes working for free. If she is hellbent on doing it, have her do it from home. Why pay for a storefront and other unnecessary overhead?

 

As for you, I would try to find work in some way, despite the injury. Sucks but you are in a losing battle until you start to make a positive income. No real way around that.

[wnaplay1647545503]

10 years at home and it was either try it and expand or give it up. She wouldnt be devastated if it shut down but who knows if it will come up years from now and I will be the cause. Closing would allow for her to get a job with income. You only have one chance to live a dream and were almost 1/2 way through this life. Steve I could go to work but need to take home roughly $5000 a month to get back where I was. Would you pay me that and give me the option of calling off as needed, come in whatever time I need, leave as needed, walk, sit, stand and whatever else including dealing with me on pain meds or mood swings as my pain increases? I dont see any employer accepting that.

 

On on top of all this the fact that everything we own is getting old. Our cars are falling apart. My wife is beginning to have medical issues and we havent had any insurance in 4 years.

[STEVE-O]

Honestly it sounds like self employment like your cake shop is the best bet. Or find a soul comission based job like selling insurance or something. I know a few people that do that and you can make good money and the hours etc are up to you and its not physical

[TTQ B4U]

10 years at home and it was either try it and expand or give it up. She wouldnt be devastated if it shut down but who knows if it will come up years from now and I will be the cause.

 

You're a team. If she doesn't buy off on that after all these years, especially with her being at home, then you'll have to deal with that either way. Better now that later. You aren't the cause.

 

Is the cake shop profitable? Providing you as much as if she were to get another job? If not, you know what to do.

 

You only have one chance to live a dream and were almost 1/2 way through this life.

 

I understand that, but said it back when you opened it that the timing wasn't likely ideal to try a new business. Dream or not, if you don't have an income and can't survive then you have to wait.

 

Steve I could go to work but need to take home roughly $5000 a month to get back where I was.

 

What do you need to meet your minimum. Can't get back to where you were from the start but you can make a living.

 

Would you pay me that and give me the option of calling off as needed, come in whatever time I need, leave as needed, walk, sit, stand and whatever else including dealing with me on pain meds or mood swings as my pain increases? I dont see any employer accepting that.

 

Honestly, it's been years, why do you need all of the above? You can't come into work at a regular time? Do you still need pain meds? Just asking.....in the end, you have to get yourself back into a routine and commit to a schedule if you have a desire to get back to work.

[Sledhead36]

Jason, I would invest all my time using social media to hype her business. What have you done for advertising thus far? YouTube? Facebook? Twitter? How are you marketing the business now? How busy is she during the normal week? Is she opertation at 30, 40, 50% capacity? How much could she do if she were maxed? Have you thought of teaming up with restaurants or caterers? How about other shops like brownie points? Just some brain storming......

[Drewhop]

I never had any education beyond high school but I have owned a small painting company for nearly 17 years.

 

 

Now to the cake shop. We started the cake shop as it was something my wife had worked at for years and I didnt want my injury to affect her dream. It didnt cost me a fortune to start and it sustains itself. However it has not translated into income which my wife could be bringing in each month if we shut it down and she found an actual job. It was a gamble which we knew and only gave it 1 year to produce or say goodbye to, I know thats not alot of time but it could have went either way and for it to sustain itself from day one is a miracle by itself for any new business.

 

 

I see two ideas above. I dont know if you have contacted a "business planner" of some sort. But self employment honestly sounds like the best bet for you to thrive.

 

Do you still own the small painting business? Why not expand that? Possibly contract out work.

 

Same thing with cake business. Expand it. Market it better. I dont know what you have done so really cant judge.

[Mallard]

Jason, I would invest all my time using social media to hype her business. What have you done for advertising thus far? YouTube? Facebook? Twitter? How are you marketing the business now? How busy is she during the normal week? Is she opertation at 30, 40, 50% capacity? How much could she do if she were maxed? Have you thought of teaming up with restaurants or caterers? How about other shops like brownie points? Just some brain storming......

I totally agree with this. It's a tough business to be in, but word of mouth spreads quickly and she does incredible work. You make it sound as if the business is making money, just not as much as you had hoped. If that's the case, I think that is a huge accomplishment for only having a store front for one year.

[wnaplay1647545503]

Tim, I use pain meds depending on how physical I get. My daily life is often determined by what I have done the day before or sometimes even an hr before. The latest suggestion is amputating my leg which I always knew was an inevitable but find hard to consider. The shop sustains itself meaning we dont pay out of pocket for anything but still no income.

 

Scott she is at about 95%(some weeks it seems like 115%) maximum and that varies by week including putting in hrs and hrs all for free thus far. There is a friend of hers that comes in on busy weeks but since the busy weeks offset the slow weeks still there isnt much by way to pay an employee on a weekly basis. We so far advertise on craigslist and facebook and unfortunately finding a skilled cake decorator(the only help she can use) isnt easy when you need them to be on call. Not having this person sometimes means turning down cakes because there isnt staff to do them because theres either no money or business to warrant them. I could advertise all day long and drive business in but the catch 22 of not enough staff only when needed. Theres alot of cake decorators out there who started out just as she did but unfortunately their families have them believing they are good at it but just arent for a commercial sale.

 

I painted full time for years but it has its good weeks and bad and hard to count on. Its a bad market for the painting companies I know right now with the economy and people not seeing painting as a necessity as they once did. I was painting around the country to find work there at the end and my cousins company is still having to do this.

 

I fear being labelled as saying "I cant because" but thats not the case. Circumstances are what they are for some things.

[Ramsey]

I would recommend living a lifestyle that fits into your budget. Maybe get part-time jobs for you and your wife. Could your wife get a job at a profitable cake shop?

[wnaplay1647545503]

My wife could get a job at another cake shop but would rather just give it up rather than move onto someone elses dream, which I can appreciate as I tried painting for someone else one time, it s a difficult thing to do. A lifestyle change may be in order but then I have to come to terms with knowing I did nothing wrong other than show up for work, I payed my dues, I followed the rules, I did everything right and despite often losing my ability to have a normal life I have to lose the home I gave up so much for and uproot my wife and kids. I always promised my wife I would buy her this home and now to tell her I have to take it away. In the grand scheme of things these decisions all sound easy and commonsense but I guarantee you all they are not. Every move feels like a mistake.

[STEVE-O]

I would agree with Scott. Try to promote like crazy and see how that takes off then if it shows no extra success then would be the time to decide to close up or make that shop your life. Its all going to be a chance game unless you close the doors and your wife finds a so called safe job. Hope that makes sense.

[AWW$HEEET]

I would agree with Scott. Try to promote like crazy and see how that takes off then if it shows no extra success then would be the time to decide to close up or make that shop your life. Its all going to be a chance game unless you close the doors and your wife finds a so called safe job. Hope that makes sense.

 

If she is operating at 95%, (sometimes full capacity), there is no need to further promote. Unless he essentially doubles down and expands the shop and staff, I see no reason to further promote.

[Drewhop]

Operating at 95% makes me think that there is the potential for a larger income. It doesnt seem to me that the business is not successful but rather reached its current limit. Only way to increase that limit is by expanding.

I would think that maybe finding a culinary student who might be willing to donate there time to gain valuable experience might be a good idea. Maybe even locate a local culinary school you could set up a program with.

[Sturg1647545502]

Im sure you've explored this already but is there anything you can do to make an income? Work from home sort of stuff? or does that jeopardize the disability wage?

[Green Bastard]

I saw you said you need 5 grand a month take home to be where you used to be. The problem with that is any job you go after now (especially only having a high school diploma) your not going to make that much take home to start if even at all. As shitty as it may sound, you might have to close the cake shop and be a 2 income household, or maybe you will have to make a lifestyle change. Either way, something has to give.

[wnaplay1647545503]

Any income I make comes right off the top of my compensated wage. Unless I make $ over this wage I might as well not even waste the gas money, physical strains or dare I say time to do so. I feel I am getting a raw deal. Imagine paying your insurance premium on your car. On the way to work someone nails you. Your insurance company now says were going to give you 1/3 of its fair market value and of what you had it insured for. Now repeat this 2 times a month for 4 years and know you cant do anything about it or switch insurance companies.

 

We have tried doing the culinary student thing. Unfortunately nothing shy of an experienced cake decorator will work. Every aspect of the business seems covered its the one thing the shop needs, well that and the steady work load to justify considering them an employee. She has tried 4-5 decorators who have done it for years but their skills just arent there and even then none liked to be on call as orders come in, understandably. People wait until the last second to order and usually any orders after weds/thurs are hard to fit in and if you say you can do them you scramble to find someone at the last second to come in and do them. Unfortunately everyone is custom made to order in 2 days as most orders are for friday or saturday and you cant even start them until ednesday at the earliest. Add in the mix of the cupcakes offered daily(which arent that time consuming necessarily) and your time goes away fast. My wife averages 20 cakes alone between thursday and sat morning. Its hard to get someone who can do 3 cakes in that time frame and if they take that long their wage just ate up all the profit, no pun intended.

[wnaplay1647545503]

I saw you said you need 5 grand a month take home to be where you used to be. The problem with that is any job you go after now (especially only having a high school diploma) your not going to make that much take home to start if even at all. As shitty as it may sound, you might have to close the cake shop and be a 2 income household, or maybe you will have to make a lifestyle change. Either way, something has to give.

I agree, I would be very hardpressed in a good economy to make that kind of income and even that was only after years of proving I was worth it. Add in the fact I have serious limitations now and I would think $2500 might be a stretch. I payed my premiums I hate knowing I have to fix this out of my own pocket.

[Dharris89]

Have you looked into furthering your education? I'm not saying there is anything wrong with a high school education. My grandpa never finished high school and was the best man ive ever known.

 

But there are a lot of over 30 programs that offer scholorships, grants or financial aid. A lot of programs are online. Maybe by opening up your skill set you can open more doorways and get back closer to what you used to make. Just a thought. Good luck.

[wnaplay1647545503]

I actually spent a semester at columbus state as part of my rehab. I took 3 classes, got all A's, raves from my professors, deans list the whole nine yards. I actually had 2 professors pull me aside and state that the felt CS wasnt where I should be if I really wanted an education. I was pulled from the program after that semester to undergo my second round of surgeries as they were attempting to make it easier for me to become more mobile. I hated every bit of going back to school and dreaded it everyday. It reminded me of working with other people which in all my years I have never done and basically worked alone everyday and feel this is part of the reasoning for my social awkwardness to this day. I would prefer to do a tradeschool type thing but as with everything it has to be approved and when asked I am told BWC feels a trade is not a viable job consideration given my condition. Oh yeah I get told what I can and cannot do. They are only willing to pay for an associates degree. From the feelers I have put out and the fact there are thousands of others with an associates degree out of work right now I dont know how much weight one carries in todays job market.

[Mallard]

If she's at 95% capacity and turning away orders but you are just breaking even, you either need to hire more people to increase your volume, cut your costs, or raise your prices. You have to either increase your volume or make your current volume more lucrative. Maybe you could come up with a line of 'standard' cake options that don't take up as much time and increase the prices on the 'custom' cakes. Hook up with wedding planners or banquet halls/hotels and set up a referral program. These are cakes that are planned months in advance, command higher prices, and you could easily up sell options to increase your margins.

[wnaplay1647545503]

I was only willing to sign a one year lease on the shop which is from I am told unheard of in commercial real estate. I believe there are 4 more months on it that she will try to make a go of despite going into the slow season. You never know things could turn around any time. If at that time it doesnt seem like a viable option to remain open I own all my equipment and bought everything way under market value. I can probably get my money back in all the equipment and just be out the changeover which I did all myself and other than plumber/electrician didnt cost me that much.

[KillJoy]

I was only willing to sign a one year lease on the shop which is from I am told unheard of in commercial real estate. I believe there are 4 more months on it that she will try to make a go of despite going into the slow season. You never know things could turn around any time. If at that time it doesnt seem like a viable option to remain open I own all my equipment and bought everything way under market value. I can probably get my money back in all the equipment and just be out the changeover which I did all myself and other than plumber/electrician didnt cost me that much.

 

 

Not to swing on the Cake Shop's Nuts, The cakes she has made for us have been some of the best we have ever had. The Misses has taken them to work, and those who have devoured the remains have said the same.

 

I would put all of my eggs into THAT basket before giving up, and fucking things up sooner, rather then letting things run their course. One year is WAY too little to make a business profitable.

 

We have friends who bought an "ok" salon. It has taken them 6 years to hit black, and get back to having spare PERSONAL money and luxuries.

 

KillJoy

[wnaplay1647545503]

Higher prices are on the horizon as they have been since opening. Wedding cakes certainly demand the highest prices and consume the most time. Its hard to penetrate the catering business as they have used the same people forever. In all the months she has been open only 2 people have requested a generic cake. Everyone else wants the specialty cake they seen on tv. She started with the generic cake but just ended up throwing them away after they sat unpurchased. With higher prices its hard to convince most people that a birthday cake should cost $100+, not when a walmart cake is $20. These custom cakes are a luxury to most and as stated the business sustaining itself from the get go was a blessing and shows there is potential. Shes in the awkward stage right now on the verge of growing but not quite sure when or how big. You turn down a cake or 2, any business will tell you turning down business sucks but paying an employee to either be on call or to stand around right now would suck even more I think.