Zx2guy19 Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Getting married next May, doing all the planning and back end work now obviously. I've owned a house for 3 years and basically have all the stuff I could ever want that would be given at a wedding. Additionally, AAA is giving us retard answers on how to register our Honeymoon so people can pay for it saying "If it's only $2500 and you get $5000 you just get a travel voucher for another vacation". I don't want that, I'd rather have the $2500 in cash. Anyway, long story short, this wedding is setting me back like 10-12k and I'd rather have money above anything else since I honestly do not need anything. Is there a non tacky way to ask for "cash" wedding gifts? If there isn't, bring on whatever else. I DO NOT want to be tacky or rude, so if this is unconventenial or hillbilly, I'll move on. Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LJ Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Tell everyone you are registered at Target, then only put the VISA gift cards on your registry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zx2guy19 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Haha nice...I am reading some stuff online that is pretty damn helpful...just seeing if anyone has done it recently here in this area and how it went over. The last thing I want is for 100 of our family and friends to be talking about us being rude. Definitely not my intention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForeverMaker Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Only thing I can think of is to put that the bride and groom request no gifts. Then don't register anywhere. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zx2guy19 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 A co-worker of mine seriously goes to 8-10 weddings a year (he's at the prime age of 26 where all of his friends are getting married). He said that almost all of them are requesting cash only and it's becoming pretty common. He is going to try to get me some lingo from their invitations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
harmonda Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Just register for things that will be easy to cart back and return. People have been doing it for years. Pick a store with a liberal return policy or where you see yourself spending store vouchers over time anyway. I'd suggest Kohl's and Target. side note: VISA gift cards are cool but be very careful because they carry transaction fees for each purchase. Make as few individual purchases as possible on each card to avoid the fees eating your balance. Optimally use an entire card at once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1fynz Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 As a wedding photographer/videographer I see a lot of weddings. I think while there is still a certain stigma attached to asking for cash as opposed to gifts it is becoming much more common. Especially with the change in the dating/marriage process these days. Since it isn't uncommon for couples to already live together and have most of the classic "wedding present" household items there really isn't much else that would be beneficial. There isn't a need for 3 toasters and 2 bread makers. I think it all comes down to how you approach it, somehow making it fun for the guests. I don't know the logistics of it, but if you were to set up a Kickstarter page for you honeymoon and offer cheesy souvenirs from wherever you go for each of the donation tiers or something along those lines could be an option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zx2guy19 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 I found this online and thought it was kind of corny/cool: More than just kisses so far we've shared Our home has been made with love and care Most things we need we’ve already got Like a toaster and kettle, pans and pots A wishing well we thought would be great (but only if you wish to participate) A gift of money is placed in the well Then make a wish … but do not tell Once we’ve replaced the old with the new We can look back and say it was thanks to you! And in return for your kindness we’re sure that one day soon you'll get what you wished for! We could set up some kind of "Wishing Bucket" and make it a more fun deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copperhead Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Just register for things that will be easy to cart back and return. People have been doing it for years. Pick a store with a liberal return policy or where you see yourself spending store vouchers over time anyway. I'd suggest Kohl's and Target. side note: VISA gift cards are cool but be very careful because they carry transaction fees for each purchase. Make as few individual purchases as possible on each card to avoid the fees eating your balance. Optimally use an entire card at once. Ummm, the gift cards I've seen cost a couple bucks up front, and have no other fees. Additionally, a law has passed recently stating that gift cards have to offer a PIN for use in transactions that require a PIN. You can use a PIN to load a Bluebird card (by Amex) at a register at WalMart, $1,000 a day up to I think $5,000 a month. You can then use the Bluebird to pay bills or transfer money to your bank account (I forget the limit on this). So yeah, if you can find a non shitty way to ask for gift cards then you can turn it into real money without too much issue. Just need to get a Bluebird card to transfer it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRTurbo04 Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Yeah good luck on that, gifts are just that a GIFT. They don't have to give you anything, and once you start asking for specific items then it seems as if your expecting that they get you a gift. I would be very turned off to see this on a wedding invite. Just my two cents from a person who got planned and got married in the last year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zx2guy19 Posted September 9, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Yeah good luck on that, gifts are just that a GIFT. They don't have to give you anything, and once you start asking for specific items then it seems as if your expecting that they get you a gift. I would be very turned off to see this on a wedding invite. Just my two cents from a person who got planned and got married in the last year. This is kind of the response I was looking/expecting to get. I wondered how many would feel this same way. I certainly do not expect gifts from anyone, nor am I banking my financial life on getting tons of stuff. However, it's no secret that gifts are somewhat expected, so this was made with the assumption that some will give. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mojoe Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Getting married in 4 weeks. Skimmed through this and don't have time to full reply, but we are doing much of what you mentioned. Feel free to call me. We did our Honeymoon through AAA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Karacho1647545492 Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Haha nice...I am reading some stuff online that is pretty damn helpful...just seeing if anyone has done it recently here in this area and how it went over. The last thing I want is for 100 of our family and friends to be talking about us being rude. Definitely not my intention. Maybe they'll think you're rude, or maybe they've still got a toaster oven in the basement given to them at their wedding and they'll be sitting there thinking "I wish I asked for cash when I got married." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Alex- Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 I think the wishing well idea is best so far. No names attached, just drop what you can afford into the bucket. If anybody felt like they wanted their amount to be recognized or whatever they can put it in a card. It also doesn't single out people who can't really afford to spend much on a gift or whatever. I don't see it as being rude, but it definitely is a fragile situation with the wording and how to go about receiving it. I was married nearly 4 years ago and went the traditional route and it seemed like we got 2-3 of many things, which in turn ended up being somewhat of a pain to return some. I think we ended up regifting most of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rustlestiltskin Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Yeah good luck on that, gifts are just that a GIFT. They don't have to give you anything, and once you start asking for specific items then it seems as if your expecting that they get you a gift. I would be very turned off to see this on a wedding invite. Just my two cents from a person who got planned and got married in the last year. I'm with Paul. You start demanding money and ppl will just think of you as some rude snob. Just as was said before, they are GIFTS. Who cares what ppl get you or how many of the same item you got. Be thankful they got you anything at all. Brb, invite ppl to my wedding and tell them to give me cash. I dunno how others feel but that's shitty. PS, been married for 2 yrs. didn't ask for anything at wedding. Got combo of gifts and money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmrmnhrm Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 If the folks you're inviting know you (and/or your fiancee) have been on your own for quite some time, then odds are they know you've got all the "stuff" that comes with owning a home, and dump checks/gift cards on you anyways. If you're worried that they won't, create a registry somewhere and put just the few things you don't have, or have always said "Yeah, it'd be nice, but it's a toy not a tool" items on it, but keep it *SHORT*. That way, when people go to visit it, they'll see "Oh, everyone's already gotten everything... might as well just be lazy and cut a check." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs.cos Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Make a registry.. make it of big ticket items, (brand new kitchen maid 6qt mixer- 4-500$) New sets of Pots and Pans (higher end stuff) stuff like this that makes people think they are HELPING you to ultimately purchase these items... and would rather get you a gift card. (Your likely not gonna get cash, in my humble experience) You are gonna get gift cards... lots of gift cards. Also, if they DO buy you bit ticket items.. No ones saying you cant unload them. I wont tell. im my experience, they dont want to "help" pay for your honeymoon.. but this is just my opinion. Remember gift giving is typically left up to the woman, and they want to buy stuff because woman are gatherers, so you need to play into that somehow. When we got married, even with a good sized registry, we got more gift cards than gifts, and that was 10 years ago. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diamonds Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 We ended up getting a lot of cash by pure dumb luck. The easiest way to get more cash is to register for less gifts.... which we unknowingly did. We thought we registered for a ton of gifts but they all got bought up quickly. We got 14K cash just because we ran out of things to register for.... Then again, with our two big families we invited 425 people. So that might have affected it out of sheer volume. Oh, and greeks are like Jewish people, they like to show off with the size of their gift. We got a few sizeable checks just from generous family friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LJ Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 They don't have to give you anything, Actually it's proper for guests to bring gifts that are equal to their per plate cost for dinner. So if you and your wife attend a wedding that is $50 per plate, you two should bring a gift worth $100 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diamonds Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 im my experience, they dont want to "help" pay for your honeymoon.. but this is just my opinion. This is true. however, one friend had an option to buy gifts of activities/tours/dinners for the couple on their honeymoon. We all got together and bought them spa packages, private dinners, and boat tours which they otherwise would have not bought the packages themselves. They loved it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diamonds Posted September 9, 2013 Report Share Posted September 9, 2013 Actually it's proper for guests to bring gifts that are equal to their per plate cost for dinner. So if you and your wife attend a wedding that is $50 per plate, you two should bring a gift worth $100 Yep, this is S.O.P. Edit - unless you are in the wedding party. You usually spend 2-3x. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zx2guy19 Posted September 10, 2013 Author Report Share Posted September 10, 2013 Make a registry.. make it of big ticket items, (brand new kitchen maid 6qt mixer- 4-500$) New sets of Pots and Pans (higher end stuff) stuff like this that makes people think they are HELPING you to ultimately purchase these items... and would rather get you a gift card. (Your likely not gonna get cash, in my humble experience) You are gonna get gift cards... lots of gift cards. Also, if they DO buy you bit ticket items.. No ones saying you cant unload them. I wont tell. im my experience, they dont want to "help" pay for your honeymoon.. but this is just my opinion. Remember gift giving is typically left up to the woman, and they want to buy stuff because woman are gatherers, so you need to play into that somehow. When we got married, even with a good sized registry, we got more gift cards than gifts, and that was 10 years ago. I trust your opinion, I know you've been to a lot of weddings, ha! Maybe that is smarter is to just register big ticket items...I'll see what the better half thinks. Yep, this is S.O.P. Edit - unless you are in the wedding party. You usually spend 2-3x. Shit, I didn't know that. I'm a groomsmen at my friends wedding next Friday, looks like I've got some serious money to spend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlr8tn Posted September 10, 2013 Report Share Posted September 10, 2013 I myself would prefer to give someone cash and always do. It's easier for me and people need to face the fact that 99% of the people getting married want cash. I realize the spot your in because people are basically stupid and don't get it but I would look at it this way. If you offend them and they don't come to your wedding you save the money it would've cost to feed them and get their thin skinned ass drunk......same as a cash gift in my book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OJdidit1738 Posted September 10, 2013 Report Share Posted September 10, 2013 Great thread, I am currently planning my wedding next october!! I wondered the same exact thing about asking for cash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted September 10, 2013 Report Share Posted September 10, 2013 Actually it's proper for guests to bring gifts that are equal to their per plate cost for dinner. So if you and your wife attend a wedding that is $50 per plate, you two should bring a gift worth $100 100% correct Only a cheap ass would be offended at the idea of cash these days and nobody wants a crappy gift anyway. If you cant afford to give a little stay at home and count your food stamps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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