greg1647545532 Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 I'm trying to understand why everyone thinks being almost 18 makes it ok to do that in my house? . As a general rule of thumb, something being "wrong" requires a victim. Who's the victim here? You? How are you harmed by something going on behind closed doors that doesn't involve you? You could say your daughter is the victim, but I don't believe that's true for two 17 year old with no extenuating factors. Plus, you don't have a problem with the activity, just the location. All you've got is some notion that it's disrespectful, but why? There's nothing inherently disrespectful about it, it's all a construct of your own doing. And it's circular thinking. Sex in the house is against the rules because it's disrespectful. It's disrespectful because she's breaking the rules. Doesn't work for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokin5s Posted March 26, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 I said disrespectful... the definition of disrespectful is lacking courtesy or esteem and yes, this is a lack of courtesy since it's my house and my rules... kids don't get to fuck in my house... hell, I don't get to fuck in my house... so she sure as hell isn't going to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Diamonds Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 fuck that shit.. if nathan ever pulled "im the bread winner" shit on me, he'd be out a wife and paying me alimony. And I mean this seriously (pertaining to your outlook).... My exact words would be ... "Do me the favor" Serious Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1fast5gp Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 Hey, look on the bright side, at least she isn't going to get knocked up anytime soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wagner Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 So my high school long term girlfriend and her hippie parents had me over all the time. I was a senior, she was a junior. I was her first and we told her parents after it happened. They pollut her on the pill and told us to be safe. I stayed at her house almost every weekend and did the business all the time, all night, every night. It was around Xmas, and her and her mom were out shopping all day. They put the bags of gifts in her room until they got around to wrapping them. That night, when her and I went to her room to go to bed, we got on the floor to start our nightly fuck session. About twenty minutes into it, her mom knocks on the door and wanted to look in one of the shopping bags for a receipt. My girlfriend told her "not now mom"! Making it very clear we were having sex. Mom said cover up and that she would only be a second. She then opened the door, house rule was don't lock the door, the light from the hallway spot lighted everything about us. There was no blanket to cover up with. With my dick buried to the hilt as her daughter was riding me, mom stepped over my head to walk across the room to the bags. Mom rummaged for the receipt and was asking her daughter what bag she thought it might be in. Her angry daughter with my dick still in her, yelled at her mom that she didn't know and that they can look for it the next day. A frustrated mom left the room and casualy apologized as she stepped back over my head and closed the door on the way out. We laughed about what had just happened and then I finished fucking her. To this day, I'm floored a family was that open. But if you're going to let me fuck your hot daughter and make me dinner too, I'll be right over. Pretty much the best post in here 11/10 There is no "right or wrong" its what you want to do. You ask 8 different people here you will get 14 different answers on what to do and how everybody else is wrong, your wrong, or god knows what else. Do what fits the situation best without melting the family down. If your daughter can't follow your rules, good chance she won't be able to follow life's rules and will come crawling back after the big bad world breaks a boot off in her ass twice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg1647545532 Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 I said disrespectful... the definition of disrespectful is lacking courtesy or esteem OK, but why does this show a lack of courtesy? and yes, this is a lack of courtesy since it's my house and my rules... OK, so it shows a lack of courtesy because it's against the rule, but why is there a rule against it? kids don't get to fuck in my house... OK, so it's against the rule because there's a rule against it. Claiming that this is about respect is just a grown up version of "because I said so." You need a reason for the rule to exist. You haven't presented one, and if you can't convince me, a 35-year-old man, you're not going to be able to convince a rebellious teenager. hell, I don't get to fuck in my house... so she sure as hell isn't going to. If that's all you got... it's a rule because you're supes jelly? Meh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokin5s Posted March 26, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 dude, obviously that last statement isnt true... it was more on the fact that I wasn't getting any last night because of a fight... your rules your house goes regardless of age, but honestly, I have no idea of how else to explain respect to you... it's something you have to learn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gergwheel1647545492 Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 I tend to agree with OP. Its your house, your (and your wife's) rules. However, the real dispute is between you and your wife and you both need to find common ground and compromise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg1647545532 Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 You don't have to explain respect, I understand the concept. You have to explain your rule. Why is "kids can't have sex in the house" a good rule? What does it accomplish? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lauren Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 Technically it's not really fucking, more like petting. Do you not have dogs in your house as well? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwashmycar Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 I didnt really read the whole thread....but that is tough one. I am not looking forward to dealing with it in 17 years. I can compare the two different dynamics though. My wifes mother and father were very strict about that (like how you are proposing) and she just did things anyway behind her parents back. In contrast I dated a girl for a long long time and when we were 17 or 18 I was ALWAYS spending the night at her parents place. I had a good relationship with her parents and I think it showed her parents really trusted her. Yeah we banged all the time there, but her parents never bothered to 'check in' or anything. Certainly could have. What I am saying is, I dont think it is bad to allow someone else to crash at your place so long as you set expectations. Otherwise, she is going to be crashing over at her friend "Jennifer"s house and you wont be none the wiser....Well. I am sure parents are always skeptical about if most kids actually do what they say they will or wont, but if they are HOME, regardless of who might be staying over, id call that a win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trouble Maker Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 ... but you have the final say as the breadwinner. :dumb: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mallard Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 So my high school long term girlfriend and her hippie parents had me over all the time. I was a senior, she was a junior. I was her first and we told her parents after it happened. They pollut her on the pill and told us to be safe. I stayed at her house almost every weekend and did the business all the time, all night, every night. It was around Xmas, and her and her mom were out shopping all day. They put the bags of gifts in her room until they got around to wrapping them. That night, when her and I went to her room to go to bed, we got on the floor to start our nightly fuck session. About twenty minutes into it, her mom knocks on the door and wanted to look in one of the shopping bags for a receipt. My girlfriend told her "not now mom"! Making it very clear we were having sex. Mom said cover up and that she would only be a second. She then opened the door, house rule was don't lock the door, the light from the hallway spot lighted everything about us. There was no blanket to cover up with. With my dick buried to the hilt as her daughter was riding me, mom stepped over my head to walk across the room to the bags. Mom rummaged for the receipt and was asking her daughter what bag she thought it might be in. Her angry daughter with my dick still in her, yelled at her mom that she didn't know and that they can look for it the next day. A frustrated mom left the room and casualy apologized as she stepped back over my head and closed the door on the way out. We laughed about what had just happened and then I finished fucking her. To this day, I'm floored a family was that open. But if you're going to let me fuck your hot daughter and make me dinner too, I'll be right over. I think you missed something when your incident originally occurred. Her mom knew you were naked and fucking, the receipt was a poor excuse for her to come in and check out the goods. She was secretly hoping to get in on the action, and when she stepped over your head she was probably in a robe with no panties on. You missed out on the mother - daughter threesome. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sully Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 Dude, I think the 3 of you need to sit down and work out a solution without arguing or yelling at each other. Be sure to let them know how you feel, but that you are willing to work out a compromise. Once an agreement has been reached, explain that if said agreement is broken, this arrangement will never happen again. I'm sorry you are in this situation, but I think you're going to have to be willing to bend your own rules a little in order to keep peace in the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs.cos Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 I tend to agree with OP. Its your house, your (and your wife's) rules. However, the real dispute is between you and your wife and you both need to find common ground and compromise. Which is exactly why the rules aren't the rules in his house. He has one set of rules, his wife has another. This is part of why she's not listening to anyone. How can you have respect for parents if the parents don't respect each other and stand firm together? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTQ B4U Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 Daughter turns 18 in a few months. She has a girlfriend who lives out of town (actual girlfriend, not just a friend) Would you be ok with her girlfriend staying with you when they have proven to not obey the rules and keep their hands off of each other as well as proven they will not stay in seperate beds? Wife and I have completely oposite opinions on this, I beleive their dating partner regardless of gender should never stay the night under our roof, she believes they can fuck on the kitchen table for all she cares because she did it when she was 18 and would rather her be safe at home then in the back seat of a car. I feel it's sending the wrong message and I'm firmly against it... who's right and who's wrong? And no I will not post their pictures, neither one of them you would be interested in seeing anyways. Pick and choose your battles. She's 18 and while you make the rules under your house, what's more important, your rules or the respect and relationship between all. Consider your wife too. Trish is correct, that you two set the standard. If you disagree and can't settle things than that's the example you're both setting. You're not likely going to change anyone else in the matters opinion or lifestyle so really, is it worth it? IMO, let it go. Not exactly the battle I'd choose to fight. That's my opinion. Good luck man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zx2guy19 Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 I'm trying to understand why everyone thinks being almost 18 makes it ok to do that in my house? To this day if my parents asked me not to (they never had to.. I respected them too much for that) I would respect their wishes... hell if my inlaws weren't such assholes and seem to think it's all ok, I probably wouldn't have done it in their house even though my wife and I were married at the time... I don't understand how anyone doesn't think it's not a respect thing... I feel as though I'm alot older than 34 with my belief systems after hearing everyone elses. So wait...you had her at 17?....you aren't trying to compensate for your mistakes, are you? Not to be so blunt, but it seems like you weren't totally respective of your parents wishes either- I'm sure they weren't thrilled when you brought a baby into the world at 17-18 years old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tractor Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 I'm trying to understand why everyone thinks being almost 18 makes it ok to do that in my house? To this day if my parents asked me not to (they never had to.. I respected them too much for that) I would respect their wishes... hell if my inlaws weren't such assholes and seem to think it's all ok, I probably wouldn't have done it in their house even though my wife and I were married at the time... I don't understand how anyone doesn't think it's not a respect thing... I feel as though I'm alot older than 34 with my belief systems after hearing everyone elses. And there's alot worse things than me looking at her like she's still 7 years old. I agree that they should go get a hotel room... unfortunately that's not an option right now. This is the point. Does she respect you? Doubtful since I bet she doesn't respect herself either and from your describing the sex at your wife's house growing up, it doesn't sound like one half of your family learned the respect stuff like you did at your place. Just getting to the deeper part. Might want to look into some of the neurological conditions such as borderline personality disorder. I have a lot of experience with that one. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sully Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 So wait...you had her at 17? She's his step-daughter, but because he's been raising her since she was little, she's his daughter. I think this may help explain the current war in the house regarding this situation. I feel for this situation. I have a step-daughter too (she's 10) and her mom and I are always arguing over stuff about her. Her mom is too lenient. I'm too strict. However, she walks all over her mom. But she minds me 100%. I imagine within 3 years, she won't be minding me either. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greg1647545532 Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 Just getting to the deeper part. Might want to look into some of the neurological conditions such as borderline personality disorder. I have a lot of experience with that one. All children at pyschopaths and all teenagers are narcissistic shitheads. I don't think we need to start diagnosing them all with neurological disorders. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokin5s Posted March 26, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 Mike knows more about this situation then most since he knows both of us and is a friend outside of CR. He is right, and I also appreciate other things not being mentioned. I could say alot of other things but I don't feel comfortable with posting on a public message forum. I think I got what I wanted out of this thread. It seems like how I was raised and believe is alot more different than the norm that I would expected.. that and some people's kids will never hang out with mine :-P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokin5s Posted March 26, 2015 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 She's his step-daughter, but because he's been raising her since she was little, she's his daughter. I think this may help explain the current war in the house regarding this situation. I feel for this situation. I have a step-daughter too (she's 10) and her mom and I are always arguing over stuff about her. Her mom is too lenient. I'm too strict. However, she walks all over her mom. But she minds me 100%. I imagine within 3 years, she won't be minding me either. You are correct sir... she will see that she doesn't have to and will learn to turn Cassey against you. I'm living that dream daily Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zx2guy19 Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 She's his step-daughter, but because he's been raising her since she was little, she's his daughter. I think this may help explain the current war in the house regarding this situation. I feel for this situation. I have a step-daughter too (she's 10) and her mom and I are always arguing over stuff about her. Her mom is too lenient. I'm too strict. However, she walks all over her mom. But she minds me 100%. I imagine within 3 years, she won't be minding me either. Good call, I didn't see that. Previous statement retracted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coleyounger3 Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 It's your house, your daughter, your call respect your wishes or else. Alot of Dr Phil here on this board. To op it's your call do what makes you feel better. Being a tree hugger bleeding heart and afraid of hurting people feelings is why you have to press one for English! !!! And yes I know grammar owns me 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linn1647545492 Posted March 26, 2015 Report Share Posted March 26, 2015 I'm trying to understand why everyone thinks being almost 18 makes it ok to do that in my house? To this day if my parents asked me not to (they never had to.. I respected them too much for that) I would respect their wishes... hell if my inlaws weren't such assholes and seem to think it's all ok, I probably wouldn't have done it in their house even though my wife and I were married at the time... I don't understand how anyone doesn't think it's not a respect thing... I feel as though I'm alot older than 34 with my belief systems after hearing everyone elses. And there's alot worse things than me looking at her like she's still 7 years old. I agree that they should go get a hotel room... unfortunately that's not an option right now. I haven't live with my parents since I went to college at 18. When I would bring girls home to visit and stay with my parents for a long weekend, we were not allow to sleep in the same room. This continued until I was 29 years old and my now Fiance and I had already been living together for some time. Even though I did not like not sleeping in separate rooms, I respected my parent's rules in their home and never made a big deal about it. It's one thing to let her stay, it's another to let them stay in the same room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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