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Craigslist find of the day..


Mace1647545504

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  • 3 weeks later...

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Josh Wheeler

 

This foreign car has been stateside for 20 years and is domesticated. It has abandoned the language of its homeland and now speaks fluent freedom.

I once saw it run wide open on a circle track for 24 hours straight only stopping to refill on Keystone Light. The coolant temp never rose above 199F. F*ck that metric shit.

This car came to the US of A with a 4.4L V8, 5 speed automatic, 4 cams and some bullshit variable valve timing system (which apparently sounds like clattering dinner plates when it fails. If that means let her eat, it's the only part of it I fucking understand) almost as bad as the cheap, plastic timing chain guides. It's been stroked to 6 liters, gained an extra gear for passing moar beers, and ditched 3 cams because fuck em, that's why.

Want a parts list? Wanna know what you need to do it to yours? I've got an invoice for 12 thousand American dollars I'll fax to you. It comes with the car.

It's a Gen IV swap with less than 30k miles. It can run on corn, just like me and it sounds like a fucking Corvette when you press that loud pedal.

A/C lines were fabbed up because it's hot as shit in the South. Then the Germans got angry and sent their army over to assassinate the compressor, so it currently blows red hot hatred. You can replace the compressor or you can nut up and drive faster like I do. 4 doors means 4 windows means 4 air flow. Math.

I'm only selling this car so I can check out this thing they do in the east called drifting. It looks metal as fuck. I buy too many disposable vapes to be able to afford a third pedal and I'm too dumb to work a socket wrench, so I'm hoping some crazy motherfucker will buy this or give me their drift car so I can do clutch kicks and stay shitty.

$12,000 is a sound investment in your future. If you try to haggle for a better price over the AC compressor, you sweaty, petty fuck, I'll kick your ass and then shake your hand. Please don't offer trades you wouldn't want to see wrapped around a tree on my timeline in a week.

Share it for Dale, fuckers.

EDIT: it's low as fuck because I put brand new BC Extreme Low coilovers on it. I thought it would be hip and attract girls younger than me, but my DMs are full of soibois asking what it's lowered on. It's lowered on deez nutz.

P. S. It does occasionally make a weird sound. Best way I can describe it is like the sound of a young German boy at the bottom of a well asking for schnitzel.

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  • 2 months later...
I can't figure out which one is worse, gated automatic shifters or the monostable dildo in the Jeep, also BMW and I'm sure others. The gated automatic shifter definitely functions better, but an automatic trying to look like a Ferrari manual transmission is pretty lame.
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I can't figure out which one is worse, gated automatic shifters or the monostable dildo in the Jeep, also BMW and I'm sure others. The gated automatic shifter definitely functions better, but an automatic trying to look like a Ferrari manual transmission is pretty lame.

 

That's splitting hair :)

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