Cypress Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 Q: Why are hangovers better then women?A: A hangover will go away.Q: What are the small bumps around a woman’s breasts for?A: It’s Braille for ‘suck here’.Q: What does a 75 yr. old woman have between her breasts, that a 25 yr. old doesn’t?A: Her navel.Q: Did you here about the man who finally figured out women?A: He died of laughing before he could tell anyone.Q: Why is a woman like a dog turd?A: The older it is, the easier it is to pick up.Q: How do you make a woman scream for an hour after sex?A: Wipe your dick on the curtains.Q: What’s the difference between a woman and a coffin?A: You come in one, and go in the other.Q: If your wife keeps coming in from the kitchen to nag you, what have you done wrong?A: You’ve made her chain too long.Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?A: When they come, they’re wet and wild, and when they’ve gone they take your house and car with them.Q: What’s the difference between your wife and your job?A: After 5 years your job will still suck.Q: Why do women scratch their eyes when they wake up in the morning?A: they don’t have balls to scratch.Q: A woman said to her firend, "Do you smoke after sex?"A: "Gosh, I've never looked," she replied.Q: Did you hear about 'good time Sal'?A: When she died they had to bury her in a Y-shaped coffin.Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?A: Wiped his ass. Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?A: Full. Q: Why are women like Kentucky Fried Chicken?A: 'Cos once you're finished with the breasts and the thighs all you are left with is a greasy box! Q: What's the difference between a blimp and a thousand used condoms?A: One's a Goodyear, the other's a damn good year! Q: How many women does it take to paint a wall?A: Depends on how hard you throw them.Q: Why do they call it P.M.S.???A: Because the term "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.Q: What should you do if your girlriend starts smoking? A: Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.Q: What is the difference between a battery and a woman?A: A battery has a positive side.Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?A: None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.Q: What is the difference between a woman and a computer?A: A computer will go down on you more often than you'd like. But you only have to punch information into a computer once. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yotaman88210 Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 OMG these are so degrading how could you! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessPratt Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 OMG these are so degrading how could you!Kev...did you expect anything less? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubguy85 Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 Kev...did you expect anything less? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessPratt Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhallam85 Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 that was entertaining Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey1 Posted November 18, 2009 Report Share Posted November 18, 2009 For once I had some to say to the wife. She reads me these stupid one-liners bashing guys all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2WheelSwagger Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 I've just armed up for the pending femi-nazi war lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jessecwalters Posted March 23, 2010 Report Share Posted March 23, 2010 Q: What is the difference between a woman and a computer?A: A computer will go down on you more often than you'd like. But you only have to punch information into a computer once.Haha Full of win!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cypress Posted March 26, 2010 Author Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 (edited) Q: Why do women take longer than men to reach orgasm?A: Who cares?Q: How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?A: Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time.Q: How many chauvinist does it take to change a light bulb? A: None, the chick can clean in the dark.Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? A: Tell her to get back to work!Q: What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?A: A woman that won't do what she's told.Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?A: Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men?A: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.Q: How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."Q: How do you fix a woman's watch?A: You don't, there's a clock on the oven.Q: Why are women like guns?A: If you keep one around long enough you're gonna to want to shoot it.Q: If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?A: The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in.Q: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?A: Nothing, she's already been told twice!Q: What food have scientists discovered that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%?A: Wedding cake. Edited March 26, 2010 by Cypress Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4DAIVI PAI2K5 Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 i lol'd all the way to the bottom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rick37 Posted March 26, 2010 Report Share Posted March 26, 2010 LMAO at of them........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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