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finger in butt crack prompts knife fight....


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http://www.myfoxdfw.com/dpp/news/weird/072310-Finger-in-Butt-Crack-Sparks-Knife-Fight

Finger in Butt Crack Sparks Knife Fight

Published : Friday, 23 Jul 2010, 3:05 PM CDT


MYFOXDFW.COM

DALLAS - A Dallas woman touched her friend's buttocks, sparking an assault and attempted stabbing, police said.

The alleged incident happened at an apartment in the 1700 block of Trade Winds Drive in the southern section of the city.

According to a police report, 22-year-old Laquita Mattox rubbed a finger along the victim's butt crack, prompting her to clench her buttocks. The victim claimed the clenching caused the bed she was sitting on to break, angering Mattox.

A fight ensued in which Mattox repeatedly hit the victim before grabbing a butcher knife and threatening to kill her. According to the report, she said, "Are you ready to die?"

The alleged victim called police and the suspect fled, the report stated.

Officers found no visible injuries on the woman, who refused medical attention.

It was not immediately clear if police arrested the Mattox.

:lol: best news article title evaaaaa!!!! :lol:

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According to a police report, 22-year-old Laquita Mattox rubbed a finger along the victim's butt crack, prompting her to clench her buttocks. The victim claimed the clenching caused the bed she was sitting on to break, angering Mattox.

she must work out :lol:

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Now I gots to cut you!!

Try this local story on for size:

Agitated naked man confronts police

(by Rick Palsgrove, Southeast Editor - July 13, 2010)

It took five police officers from three police departments to subdue an agitated, brawny, naked man who was allegedly on a rampage at a gas station on London-Groveport Road June 25.

According to a police report filed by Groveport Police Officer Josh Gilbert, the erratic naked man allegedly was "destroying merchandise and threatening employees" at the gas station.

With a parking lot full of citizens, who were there for a special event, looking on, Gilbert and Groveport Police Sgt. Brian Thompson approached the riled up man and ordered him to drop a 40 ounce bottle of beer he was holding.

According to police, the man shouted he was guarding the president and wanted to kill the officers.

"He then took a drink from the 40 ounce bottle and dumped the remaining beer on his head," according to the police report.

Gilbert got behind the naked man as he moved toward Thompson. Gilbert fired a taser at the man, but the big man simply pulled the taser probes from his skin. Thompson then sprayed the naked man's face with chemical spray, but it had no effect on him.

Officers from the Franklin County Sheriff's Department and the Madison Township Police Department then arrived on the scene. Franklin County Deputy John Montgomery tased the naked man again and the suspect fell to the ground. Officers tried to subdue the agitated man, but the muscular fellow overpowered the police. The big man then allegedly struck Montgomery and tried to run away. Montgomery then tased the suspect again causing him to fall.

Officers grabbed the man, but he lifted himself and attempted to overpower the police again. But police held on firm and won the struggle, handcuffing the naked man and putting him in a police cruiser. Once in the vehicle the upset man allegedly kicked at the windows so officers then shackled his legs.

"The man was extremely strong and uncontrollable," wrote Groveport Police Chief Ralph Portier in his report.

The man was taken to Mount Carmel West Hospital and then released. Officers then took him to the Franklin County Jail.

Portier said it has not yet been determined why the man was so agitated and why he was running around naked. The suspect was charged with resisting arrest and assault on a police officer.

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The whole ass-clinching/bed- breaking scenario has me wondering if this was a sizeable ass and perhaps by "finger" sliding down the ass-crack, they meant "kawi-kid".

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The whole ass-clinching/bed- breaking scenario has me wondering if this was a sizeable ass and perhaps by "finger" sliding down the ass-crack, they meant "kawi-kid". Fixed.

:lol: hard hats and climbing gear!! i like my women BIG!!!!!!

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A swift kick in the nuts will bring even the brawniest man to his knee's.

Knees. A bust in the knee and watch the tower fall.

When they bend the wrong way things tend to fall.

BTW, the guy was most likely on meth or some other drug that had him all hopped up which

is why the pepper spray and tasers didn't do much.

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a friend of mine dumped beer down a girls ass crack at a bar. we had asked her 3 or 4 times to pull up her pants, as she was NOT attractive. It was awkward enough to ask, but we were seeing a solid 4-5" of crack, so Lardis dumped beer down her ass crack. No knife fight resulted, but the girl got thrown out for smacking Lardi's beer out of his hand and slapping him across the face. Mission accomplished.

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a friend of mine dumped beer down a girls ass crack at a bar. we had asked her 3 or 4 times to pull up her pants, as she was NOT attractive. It was awkward enough to ask, but we were seeing a solid 4-5" of crack, so Lardis dumped beer down her ass crack. No knife fight resulted, but the girl got thrown out for smacking Lardi's beer out of his hand and slapping him across the face. Mission accomplished.

Sometimes you have to take one for the team, and if that means a chick smacks a hamhock across your face, ya take it. Kudos to your boy.

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