Casper Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 . In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 , and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0 , NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1 . Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.. What can I do? Signed,Desperate--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Desperate, First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 . Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta . Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7...Good Luck! Tech Support Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crf69 Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 i needed this.....yes!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Butters Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 lmao nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meanie Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 LOL that was awesome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
e-flores Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 beautiful!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coyote Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 Congrats (belated)! ...And hope you two get things worked out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hutch Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 Good shit sir. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gen3flygirl Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 Pure win! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollywood3586 Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 Wooooooow.. forwarded it to all my girlfriends for a laugh.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gen3flygirl Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 I am missing instructions on how to install his hardware into my software. Do you have some tech support for that? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magley64 Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 (edited) and the other side... INSTALLING WIFE 1.0Subject: Wife 1.0To: Technical Support:Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticedthat the new program began unexpected child processing thattook up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention ofthis phenomenon was included in the product brochure. Inaddition, Wife1.0 installs itself into all other programs andlaunches during system initialization, where it monitors all othersystem activity.Applications such as Pokernight 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5and Monday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the systemwhenever selected. I cannot seem to keep Wife 1.0 in thebackground while attempting to run some of my other favoriteapplications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,but the un-install for Wife 1.0 does not work.Can you help me, please!!!Thanks,ChrisTech Support Writes BackDear Chris:This is a very common problem male employees complainabout, but it is mostly due to a primary misconception. Manypeople upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea thatWife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENTprogram. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM anddesigned by its creator to run everything. It is unlikely youwould be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back toGirlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system wouldcause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained.It is impossible to un-install, delete, or purge the program filesfrom the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have triedto install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with moreproblems than the original system.Look in your help files under “Warnings-Alimony/ChildSupport”. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal withthe situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might alsosuggest you read the entire section regarding GeneralPartnership Faults(GPFs). You must assume allresponsibility for faults and problems that mightoccur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will beto enter the DOS-commandC:\APOLOGIZE or click the I’M SORRY! Icon for Macintoshsystems. In any case avoid excessive use of the Esc key becauseultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE/SORRYcommand before the operating system will return to normal. Thesystem will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for allthe GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very highmaintenance.Consider buying additional software to improve the performanceof Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0.DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With ShortSkirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and islikely to cause irreversible damage to YOUR hardware.Best of luck.Tech support Edited December 17, 2010 by magley64 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OsuMj Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 Solution: DO NOT INSTALL HUSBAND 1.0!!!! Its a trap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magley64 Posted December 17, 2010 Report Share Posted December 17, 2010 Solution: DO NOT INSTALL HUSBAND 1.0!!!! Its a trap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jschaf Posted December 18, 2010 Report Share Posted December 18, 2010 Does not compute. Been in a good working relationship with my best friend & wife for 30+ years now. Good luck on dealing with your strange perceptions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chevysoldier Posted December 18, 2010 Report Share Posted December 18, 2010 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiggO Posted December 18, 2010 Report Share Posted December 18, 2010 true and hilarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RSVDon Posted December 18, 2010 Report Share Posted December 18, 2010 I am missing instructions on how to install his hardware into my software. Do you have some tech support for that?Best post of the thread. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jst2fst Posted December 18, 2010 Report Share Posted December 18, 2010 wish that I could of been the guy to answer that e-mail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casper Posted December 18, 2010 Author Report Share Posted December 18, 2010 Wooooooow.. forwarded it to all my girlfriends for a laugh.. Put some extra emphasis on Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7. The more women out there that know about this the better. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
psyco1 Posted December 18, 2010 Report Share Posted December 18, 2010 I am missing instructions on how to install his hardware into my software. Do you have some tech support for that?Try running Oral 6.9 and installing Lube 2.0. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigd Posted December 18, 2010 Report Share Posted December 18, 2010 classic...my wife's going to get a kick out of this. (and hopefully learn more about Hot Lingerie 7.7 and it's correct application) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disclaimer Posted December 19, 2010 Report Share Posted December 19, 2010 Peculiar how that application is overwritten after installing Wife 1.0' date=' isn't it? Thank sweet baby Jesus for Mistress 1.1.2, eh? [/quote']Thats the only thing I can successfully get to run in the background without issue. And the beauty of it is, it's not a resource hog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
socaln8tv Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 brilliant! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beegreenstrings Posted December 20, 2010 Report Share Posted December 20, 2010 funny stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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