redkow97 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 I apologize for unloading here, but I can't talk about this on facebook, and bringing it up with people at work would just be weird.just got a text from one of my college friends. One of our mutual friends was 8 months pregnant, and lost her baby this morning.Mom and junior were both completely healthy as of their last visit to the doctor. She went into labor, and the baby was stillborn.I feel like crap. I can't even begin to imagine how she and her husband feel...I think the worst part is that other people aren't going to know, and they're going to ask her about the baby months from now... Not only are they going to bring it up again, but she's going to have to TELL people. all around sad situation. I'm not the praying type, but excuse me for a minute... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubguy85 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 (edited) just got a text from one of my college friends. One of our mutual friends was 8 months pregnant, and lost her baby this morning.Mom and junior were both completely healthy as of their last visit to the doctor. She went into labor, and the baby was stillborn.I feel like crap. I can't even begin to imagine how she and her husband feel...I think the worst part is that other people aren't going to know, and they're going to ask her about the baby months from now... Not only are they going to bring it up again, but she's going to have to TELL people. all around sad situation. I'm not the praying type, but excuse me for a minute...werd.. I went through this in March.. My wife was 6 months pregnant.. She just had a Dr. Appt like 3 days before it happened and everything was perfect. Had to deliver her and everything.. hardest thing Ive ever done.But yea.. when people ask, its hard to answer, cause you don't want them to feel like crap... Or its tough when people ask if we have kids, or "when do you want kids" Edited September 7, 2011 by Dubguy85 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubguy85 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 Ps, if your friend or his wife need someone to talk to they can email, text, or call me or my wife.. talking to people helps.. My wife is in a support group that has helped a TON. Even after autopsy will still have no reason why it happened..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hollywood3586 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 OMG you guys.. I am sooo sorry for your loss. Never in my wildest dreams could i ever imaine what you must be going through. Never the less I am praying for you. No women (or man) should ever have to lose a child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
standout Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 Went thru the same thing a few years back. Have even had twins since but no matter what we still feel that pain. We planted a tree and a small garden in our back yard in memory of her.Tell them to get into a support group. There are all types of them out there for grieving parents. Helps out a ton to have a shoulder to cry on that understands and has been through the same thing u have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redkow97 Posted September 7, 2011 Author Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 yeah, clearly I'm no expert, but I feel like you have to fully acknowledge what happened here.Their child died. Debate all you want about when an unborn child becomes a human life, but to the expectant parents, that baby has had a name, a bedroom, toys, clothes, and an entire life laid out for it for MONTHS now.just makes me want to go crawl in a hole... If there's some kind of resource for support groups, I might suggest that to them after things calm down. There's a fine line between being helpful and pushy here. I want to give them a while to properly grieve before I even try to suggest they think about trying to 'move on,' not that you ever really get over something like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jester3681 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 We lost our first too- same type of situation - one week, everyone is fine, then some pain in the side. Went into the doc and found excessive blood pessure - like 200/150. Our son lived in ICU for 3 days - very tough to answer questions about it, even now, four years later. We've since had two healthy, happy kids that I thank God or every day, but it's tough when people ask about kids - how many do you have? Well, we have three, but then I have to tell the story all over again. Just a shit situation. I guess on the bright side, I was probably about 30 minutes away from losing my wife too - her liver was just about to shut down. Really puts life in perspective having something like that happen.Side note - I highly recommend having your wife/self tested for blood clotting disorders (thrombophelia) in the early months of pregnancy or even before hand. It's treatable (using blood thinners) and can be fatal to both child and mother if it goes undetected. Tends to be hereditary but has only been diagnosed in the past 10-15 years - if your mom or grandmother has premature births or had still births or miscarriages, this could have been why.Prayers go out to your friends Redkow - I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Single worst period of my life, although we were blessed with about 60 hours with him. Be there for them, whatever they need. It's what they need most right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubguy85 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 yeah, clearly I'm no expert, but I feel like you have to fully acknowledge what happened here.Their child died. Debate all you want about when an unborn child becomes a human life, but to the expectant parents, that baby has had a name, a bedroom, toys, clothes, and an entire life laid out for it for MONTHS now.just makes me want to go crawl in a hole... If there's some kind of resource for support groups, I might suggest that to them after things calm down. There's a fine line between being helpful and pushy here. I want to give them a while to properly grieve before I even try to suggest they think about trying to 'move on,' not that you ever really get over something like that.Yep, try coming home from the hospital to a fully furnished nursery and closet full of clothes.. Then figuring out funeral arrangements.. Not fun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpeedTriple44444 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 I'm so sorry for all of you. I have a friend that lost his son to sids. You just don't know what to say... is there really anything? I cried like a baby at the funeral... just felt so bad for all of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jporter12 Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 Wow, I think I'll be hugging my kids extra tonight after reading this. I've had close friends go through miscarriages early on, and a friend that lost one at almost a year from sids. There's just nothing you can say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snot Posted September 7, 2011 Report Share Posted September 7, 2011 I feel bad for all of you who have had to deal with this, I will keep all of u in my prayers..I know its really hard on the relationship as well. I know several couples who relationships never recovered. The best thing is to be there for your friends and sometimes just a ear or shoulder is best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buildit Posted September 8, 2011 Report Share Posted September 8, 2011 This is horrible. I can only have nightmares about how they must feel. So without trying to sound insensitive can I add a little perspective? Today it is a far less common occurance to lose a child like this but only 60 years ago it was still very common. I learned about this by visiting several cemeteries in southern Ohio. I was amazed by the numbers of infant graves. It wasn't till later I learned that infant mortality 60 years ago was almost 20%! Maybe higher because often lost pregnancies were not reported in poorer areas.So I hope that they find, I guess, a level of assurance that this isn't an isolated thing. I am actually surprised by the number of people here with first hand experience. I guess you just don't realize how often it can happen when so many seem to have pregnancies with few issues and happy bouncing babies. I'm sure they will check with the Dr several times but if and when they are ready I hope they experience a full term delivery and the joy of a new life made of their love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gen3flygirl Posted September 8, 2011 Report Share Posted September 8, 2011 My condolences to your friends. I would highly suggest any support group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simplysix Posted September 8, 2011 Report Share Posted September 8, 2011 Very sad to hear Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NinjaDoc Posted September 8, 2011 Report Share Posted September 8, 2011 Sorry to hear this, be strong, help others, things will turn out better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2talltim Posted September 8, 2011 Report Share Posted September 8, 2011 Makes me wanna run home and hold mine....sorry for everyone losses:( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helmutt Posted September 8, 2011 Report Share Posted September 8, 2011 Had an old friend that went thru this, but his son was 9 days old before passing.......it's gotta be one of the toughest tests in life.......so sorry for your friends loss Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siacono Posted September 8, 2011 Report Share Posted September 8, 2011 I went through this almost a yr ago, She just said F it and posted it on FB... no one has asked about it.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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