My son is being tested...

[Strictly Street]

This kid is smarter than me.

I placed it in the corner of a room then asked him to clean that room. After 5 mins he left the room to take stuff upstairs and didn't mention the rifle so I thoguht he hadn't seen it. I moved it to another place in the room. 5 minutes later, when he left hte room again I moved it again. And then a third time.

Finally I went in there and asked him about the rifle.

He saw it as soon as he went into the room - and figured I did it on purpose. He didn't touch it. When I moved it closer to where he was working he knew I'd moved it and continue to ignore it. Each time I moved he he noticed and figured I was up to something. "I saw in int he corner, then I saw it move to the sofa, thent ot he floor, then on top of the papers you asked me to move..."

Says he didn't tell me because he knew I was doing something on purpose so I was already aware.

So test pass in that he didn't touch it, but fail in that he didn't tell me he found it. He got a polite reminder to report a found gun to the adult in charge...

"And I found the camera too..."

(Whoops!)

So, who was testing whom?

I think I lost count.

[Simplysix]

Test results not conclusive,

but I would still say successful.

If he ever fonds himself in a similar situation, he may think twice about weather or not its a trick/trap. And that could make the difference of him touching it or not.

[OsuMj]

I would have flipped the fuck out if I ever found out that my parents (without warrant) decided to "test" me. Either you're doing a good enough job parenting him that he listens to you and follows the rules, or your not... but that's a test of you, so hopefully he understands that and doesn't think you don't trust him.

[max power]

[ohiomike]

Its funny (not ha ha funny) how life can twist and turn the end result from being anything pleasant.

I was tough on all 3 of my kids. Although I never video'd them, I did demand total honesty, and my oldest was the best acting of the 3. Then he married a girl who resented my wife and I, and used everything from his youth in regards to his getting in trouble and his punishments, against us to a point that now we never hear from his family, never get to see our 4 grandchildren. Never even get to communicate with any of them.

All I am saying is that even though you and I might think what we are doing is best for them, sometimes these actions can come back to haunt us in the worst ways. You never ever want to go through what my wife and I are going through, trust me.

[conn-e-rot]

Take away the curiosity and do not make guns the forbidden fruit. My son is 11 and he knows that anytime he touches a gun he is to treat it as if it is loaded. We will go to gun shops or shows and when he asks to see one and I hand it to him the first thing he does is point it to the floor and checks for a round in the chamber even though he saw both the seller and I check it.

[C-bus]

Please, for the sake of teenagers worldwide, turn the car-cam off when he starts dating.

[conn-e-rot]

Its funny (not ha ha funny) how life can twist and turn the end result from being anything pleasant.

I was tough on all 3 of my kids. Although I never video'd them, I did demand total honesty, and my oldest was the best acting of the 3. Then he married a girl who resented my wife and I, and used everything from his youth in regards to his getting in trouble and his punishments, against us to a point that now we never hear from his family, never get to see our 4 grandchildren. Never even get to communicate with any of them.

All I am saying is that even though you and I might think what we are doing is best for them, sometimes these actions can come back to haunt us in the worst ways. You never ever want to go through what my wife and I are going through, trust me.

I agree 110% my parents were very strict and I rebelled moved out a week after I turned 18 and didn't speak to them for almost a year before we patched everything up. Other people in my family think that I give my kids too much freedom and that they are spoiled too much but they are both honor roll students and when they go some where I know that they are where they say they are going to be, that they are doing what they are supposed to be doing and that they are behaving. What more can I ask for? You have to allow kids to be kids and enjoy their childhood.

[conn-e-rot]

Side note: I get that you have some kind of camera fetish' date=' but you're seriously starting to creep me out.[/quote']

^^this

I think you need to get over your camera obsession before your son gets old enough to realize what an insult that is. Do you hide cameras on your wife too? I understand you brits are used to being recorded almost every where you go but hiding cameras on your own family is a bit over the line.

[Sniper_308]

http://www.nrahq.org/safety/eddie/

[Jst2fst]

I agree 110% my parents were very strict and I rebelled moved out a week after I turned 18 and didn't speak to them for almost a year before we patched everything up. Other people in my family think that I give my kids too much freedom and that they are spoiled too much but they are both honor roll students and when they go some where I know that they are where they say they are going to be, that they are doing what they are supposed to be doing and that they are behaving. What more can I ask for? You have to allow kids to be kids and enjoy their childhood.

Truer words have never been spoken sir. Coming from a single parent house hold growing up out of the four kids my mother had my sister and I. We were allowed to do what ever wee wanted and let our mother know where were and who with. She even told us that she was not strict on us because we always did what we said we were going to do. I plan to be the same with my kids when I have some as being too strict on them only makes them want to rebel against. I mean every now and then you might have to check them because well no ones perfect and if they claim to be theirs something wrong. Just my two cents

[Scruit]

^^this

I think you need to get over your camera obsession before your son gets old enough to realize what an insult that is. Do you hide cameras on your wife too? I understand you brits are used to being recorded almost every where you go but hiding cameras on your own family is a bit over the line.

You're reading waaay too much into it.

[chevysoldier]

[Scruit]

I agree 110% my parents were very strict and I rebelled moved out a week after I turned 18

My parents were strict too. And I didn't rebel. They started strict and became more liberal as I proved myself trustworthy. Especially when it came to things that could kill me. Everyone is different.

You have to allow kids to be kids and enjoy their childhood.

How does making sure my kid won't play with a found gun "not enjoying his childhood?"

[Scruit]

http://www.nrahq.org/safety/eddie/

I'm doing the same thing.

[gen3flygirl]

Please, for the sake of teenagers worldwide, turn the car-cam off when he starts dating.

^this

[Scruit]

Pass' date=' or no pass...all my guns are locked and out of Isaac's reach. Even his own rifle is off limits unless I go get it. I trust Isaac 100%. However, he's still only a child and prone to do childish things. The guns stay locked away, no matter how trustworthy I believe he is.

[/quote']

I store in the same way.

So what about at school? In the park? At a friend's house?

As a gun owner you know that you should not rely on a physcial device for safety - instead you should instill safe habits.

However' date=' he's still only a child and prone to do childish things.

[/quote']

Understood. Which is why I need to know that he can be trusted if he finds a gun. I can't control him when I'm not there. I can't control other people's guns.

[conn-e-rot]

My parents were strict too. And I didn't rebel. They started strict and became more liberal as I proved myself trustworthy. Especially when it came to things that could kill me. Everyone is different.

How does making sure my kid won't play with a found gun "not enjoying his childhood?"

That wasn't directed at you I was responding to the previous post that I quoted

Edited February 20, 2012 by conn-e-rot

[Scruit]

^this

You think he's driving MY car? Heck no.

[Scruit]

That wasn't directed at you I was responding to the previous post that I qouted

... in which you were agreeing with the post who was criticizing an overly-strict parenting style...

[chevysoldier]

I need more popcorn...g3 can you make me a sammich? Lol

[Scruit]

I need more popcorn...g3 can you make me a sammich? Lol

...and stand further to the right so I can get all of you in shot.

[idodishez]

I agree 110% my parents were very strict and I rebelled moved out a week after I turned 18 and didn't speak to them for almost a year before we patched everything up. Other people in my family think that I give my kids too much freedom and that they are spoiled too much but they are both honor roll students and when they go some where I know that they are where they say they are going to be, that they are doing what they are supposed to be doing and that they are behaving. What more can I ask for? You have to allow kids to be kids and enjoy their childhood.

I am very strict, and I admit my son rebelled. But trust and freedom has to be EARNED. When he would show signs of a level head, be honest, be where he said he would be, then he got free reign. But lie to me, about who you're with, do stupid stuff to get in legal trouble and you bet your ass the leash just got a LOT shorter and I start making surprise visits at your hangout spots, hookup the ip camera that I have left over from the showroom, etc. I'm a firm believer in actions for consequences, and being too soft in my opinion creates a child w an "entitled" mentality that I actually see a little of in this thread.

Sorry. This isnt trying to slam

U or anyone else. Just a sore topic for me as my son and I are currently not speaking. (his moms the enabler/"buddy" and I'm the strict one)

NoBama 2012

[Scruit]

trust and freedom has to be EARNED. When he would show signs of a level head, be honest, be where he said he would be, then he got free reign.

+1

He earns freedom by proving he can be trusted.

Some freedoms are trivial. He has free access to the pantry and can choose what he wants to eat whenever he wants - even the bucket of candy. He has earned this by proving he can make appropriate choices, and I keep an eye on his food an always know what he had chosen to eat.

Some freedoms are still beaing earned. He has his own computer and ipod, but the computer is in the living room and his ipod/email are set up in a way we can monitor his activity/emails (remember he's 8, not 16).

Some freedoms can be fatal if granted too early and it is MY responsibility (not anybody else's on this forum) to keep him safe and not let him make a dedly mistake. He does not get the mail from the mailbox because that requires his to cross a road that people travel at 75mph, and has a deceptive dip just north of us so you have to look north for 4 seconds solid to be sure there's not a car coming.

He started riding with me on the bike at 7 - and that was after trying him out with shorter rides aorund the property etc. I needed him to prove that he could be trusted to sit on the bike, hold on, not lean over and fall off etc. After months of slow exposure we finally went on his first ride on a public road. By then I was fully confident that he was mature enough to be safe. (as safe as any of us can be on two wheels)

By the same token you wouldn't to allow a toddler free access to the gun safe, but what about a 6yo? 8yo? 14? 18? Every parent and child has their own comfort level based upon maturity levels and training. I'm still trying to figure out at what age I should buy my son his first gun, or when/if I can store it in a way that he can get it out if he wants - and I need to know how he handles himself around guns when (he thinks) I'm not watching. I also need to correct any bad habits or behaviors early enough to make a difference.

As it happens, he didn't play with it. Great. That's one more piece of information I'll use when I have decide how much exposure he should be allowed to guns.

[gen3flygirl]

I need more popcorn...g3 can you make me a sammich? Lol

if you buy me groceries first, I don't have any food in my house