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I just ordered a 12 ft inflatable pool for my patio. That's where I"ll be drinking bourbon for the rest of this quarantine. Now to find some floating drink holders.

Trust everyone--but cut the cards.

He is Risen

Well, aren't you hotter than a goat's butt in a pepper patch

I told my kids we were moving to a place called Pepper Pike and my 3 year old asked "dada, is it spicy?" Oh my sweet sweet little moron

Coronavirus in Pepper Pike is available in gold or platinum, and infection is completely optional.

A bird may love a fish; but where would they build a home together?

Frank Perdue used to say this line during TV commercials that ran in the 1980s. It's still true today. May God rest his soul 🐤

It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken.

If there is a rich man in the area three villages are ruined.

A rising tide lifts all boats.

You should watch more. He uses the center stand to break the tire bead and spoons the tire off in about 10 seconds. That is why he straps the stand and locks the brake.

You got enough money to burn a wet mule.

If you are barrowing money at 5% (minus 25% tax deduction or whatever your tax rate is), and you can easily earn 8% over time with passive index fund, it just doesn't add up to pay the mortgage off early. It's not even close...the difference can be 6 figures. I agree it's counter intuitive. Most people don't believe it. There are many articles on the subject that take into account interest rates since before the Great Depression. The math always says don't pay off early. Some people sleep better with no mortgage...I get that. I'd rather be shitting in tall cotton when I retire.

I and my brother came into a substantial inheritance when our mom died at age 93 in March of 2014. I paid off student loans, my remaining mortgage, and all outstading debt. It felt great. We put the remaining funds into conservative retirement accounts. We were decidedly lucky, but now have no tax dedutions when the IRS comes calling. I was told by my CPA that it is sometimes better to owe money than to be free and clear; this has always mystified me, and seems counterintuitave.

been in quarantine

Gotta get plenty of Eschercise!

. . . and she sez she can dead-lift 300 pounds? I'm doomed if I can't pay.

My hunger, the fact that Jen is a very popular member here, and the visual appeal of the sammich image she apparently lifted from the Internet caused me to compromise my integrity. A simple citation from Jen would have prevented this breach of ethics, but now it's too late, and my wife and I remain hungry and terrified of leaving our home. I am, admittedly, complicit, but the majority of blame rests solely on Jen's shoulders. Plagiarism is a serious offense.