El Karacho1647545492

for my graduation party, we did a 110lb pig roasted Puerto Rico style (so you can stilll eat the skin!!!), and ended up with a good 40 or 50 lbs of meat. Slow roasted for about 13-14 hours over coals (fuck propane).

you finally got out of the hell hole? congrats! how big a tv will the small stand hold?

This thread past post 3 has pretty much sucked ass. Lock?

fatality

i repeat

cbus and boston...i live in the #3 and #4 drunkest cities. teh win.

1) if you have the time to write this complaint, kill yourself 2) if you are so upset that you can't get your McDonald's egg substitute sammich and have to get a McDonald's meat substitute sammich, kill yourself 3) if you eat at McDonalds frequently enough that you're making sure you get there early enough for breakfast, kill yourself

piitb /thread

http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e21/briitisrad/ball-pit-danger.jpg

and i'm taking my ball and going home *pout*

I'll refer you all to the quote in DJ (Orion)'s sig (which I am responsible for) ---- "well, my intent wasnt to kick you in the nuts but it just kinda happened that way because i missed your gooch" -caxide

i would do so many things to that ass

The only proof of my point was a recollection of a conversation I had with my ticket lawyer when I went to get my 2nd speeding ticket charges reduced. If you can get in touch with someone like that who does it on a daily basis and is willing at least to have a conversation and tell you what you're up against, try. Pete Gibson was the guy I went with...he's expensive and the only reason i went with him was because i needed privileges for work/school. but he's really good.

Chances are your bottle isn't empty, you just forgot to lift the passenger seat and open the bottles. In the rare case that your NOS bottles didn't magically refill themselves last night, all you have to do is exit the canal and pull into the nearest parking garage.

if i can, it'll be well over 400hp:D

Due to the recent influx of "I got a ticket, what do I dooooooo!?" threads, I've decided to pool the infinite wisdom that my 19 year old, wise-beyond-its-years mind has to offer and the myriad of tips and tricks that the members of this board have enlightened us all with in the past few weeks. This is essentially an amalgam of foolproof ways to stick it to the man without any consequences whatsoever. Tip #1: Evade police. If they can't catch you, they can't issue you a citation. Your "I can't drive fifty-five" mantra wasn't meant to be torn down simply because there's a few red and blue lights flashing behind you. Besides, if they pulled you over, they'd have probable cause with your ticket and would invariably find the twelve kilos of Columbian black tar heroin hidden in your wheel wells and spare tire compartment. And always remember, when you're evading police, the best way to escape is to go into a dried up canal and use your nitrous, which is always toggled by a button on the shift knob. Tip #2: Should you find yourself low on gas, drunk, or high behind the wheel and evading police is not a possibility, get out your gun. As an officer of the law, police always understand the bond between two people with firearms. He will see you as an equal, both as an intelligent person and as a protector of his territory. Therefore, he will walk away without a word and you will be free to go on your merry way. Tip #3: Shit yourself. No cop likes dealing with a dookie-covered pansy. MYTH: Flashing a cop will get you nowhere. Chances are that you'll just end up getting pounded in the cornhole by Officer Smokey Sausagecock, and you'll still get the speeding ticket. In the event that you run into a gay cop, or a female cop, you'll just have to take the ticket because gays and women are impossible to create foolproof solutions to. Fortunately, there are ways you can get out of the ticket once you've already been cited. Tip #4: Mafia. It exists for a reason. Hire the mafia to either coerce the judge into letting you off, threaten the cop into not appearing and thus voiding you of responsibility, or just using their mob connections in ways that you pay not to know about. Tip #5: Blowjobs. Lots and lots of blowjobs. Tip #6: Show up and deny the incident. Deny that you were ever present for the issuing of the citation, deny that you've ever seen that cop in your life, deny that you even have a drivers license. In fact, deny that you're even a U.S. citizen. If they think you're not a citizen, they won't charge you and they won't even make you pay income tax! Its like killing two birds with one gigantic retarded stone. Tip #7: If all else fails, call Turbs3000 and he'll magically change Ohio law to work in your favor. He's experienced like that because he's gotten 2 tickets! I hope this helps you all and puts and end to all your problems with the po.

in CT and MA unmarked cop cars are frikkin' everywhere. I'd say a good 75% of highway patrol cars are unmarked, and local police its probably 20%. Fuckin' annoying. Interesting

jack off until you pass out...you won't be able to walk in the morning but you'll sleep like a baby...a baby with a very chafed dick

the best part of this thread came in the last six posts where people just ignored turds3000's ricer ass. turds; I'm 19 and have had 2 speeding tickets as well. that doesn't make me the fucking authority on ORC and the loopholes therein. what CPD will most often do is instead of not sending the officer who issued the ticket in the hopes that you'll just bend over and take the ticket, they will most often send a liason officer instead who will act on behalf of the citing officer. if you decide to contest the ticket, they'll set another court date and the citing officer will probably show up to that one...at least, this is what I'm told, so this isn't absolute fact. The short of it is that you got fucked. Maybe you could've asked to see the device that you were clocked with (which is one of your rights) and they might not have been keen on taking down their whole speed trap and let you off with a warning. Or they might've been in a really pissy mood and done it anyways. No one really knows for sure, given that it was a hypothetical series of events that only could've taken place in what is now the past. You can contest it, and there's a chance you'll get away with it. Just give turds3000 $30 and he'll show up in court for you and use his 1337 judicial haxxor skyllz to totally pwn the cops that got you and you'll get off with nothing. Throw in another $5 and maybe he'll even give you a happy ending.

kekeke this thread delivers

i think it was the furburger, but whatev

lmao shawn, give the newb a break

yeah it was kph, not mph. also he was apparently engaged in lewd conduct (masturbating while driving tsk tsk) and had seven kilos of bubble kush in his trunk

donkey punch ftw

hit on the fuckin nose. A+ post