GM and Ford aren't going to merge, they're going to collaborate and build the United States Starship Enterprise, from whence they will wield ultimate power. Then they'll go around the sun, sending them to the year 1986. Then, GM will eliminate all models except the GNX, the Corvette, and the Camaro/Firebird, Ford will eliminate all models except the Mustang and will bring technology for Cobra production. With this technology, they will recruit the likes of Chuck Norris, Steven Segal, Vin Diesel, Mr. T, and Arnold Schwarzenegger to command a cavalry of these cars. With these machines, a weapons cache that makes Predeator seem like a kid with a spitwad, and enough toxic chemicals to make Courtney Love consider rehab, they will charge the horizon and lay waste to all who oppose them.
And that, my friends, is why we celebrate Kwanzaa.