From my experience separate needs from wants, it seems like you have this concept down, but your wife doesn't. The best way to reinforce this idea I think is to cash your paychecks, except for money that you know you are going to spend on to pay bills (car payment, insurance,electric, water, phone, + saving(hide it from your wife if you have to)) with the cash you have left, spend only that amount for your groceries, gas, misc until your next paycheck and remember NEEDS before wants. Once you conserve and sacrifice enough you can probably start saving more. Also don't care about how other may think of your spending or your looks/ keeping up trends, because they are all temporary.