I don't think there's any way to gauge wind outside of the single player mission, no flags or banners. The maps may not be large enough to even require the use of mil dot, but I agree with you that the game seems to lack real world bullet drop.
Hopefully in BF3 or other on-the-horizon shooters they include markable range cards, bullet drop, zeroing, range finders, etc. Vendors need to capture the skill it takes to make 800m+ shots.