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Happy to be alive


GixxerTravis

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Hang in there man. Anyone who has went down or knows someone who gone down feels your pain. I am going to say a prayer for you to find the strength to keep going, to get through this whole ordeal and a speedy recovery. Keep us updated on your condition and let us know if there is anything we can help with.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Travis I'll take a stab at this even though I'm rotten at this sort of thing...  I'm guessing because you're a rider, you may be a very proud person, independent at heart and don't want to burden others.  My grandpa and dad were very much that way, and I have a very strong streak of it as well.  In fact, I pushed away my last GF because of it, but that's another story entirely.  Anyway, only you are going to be able to determine what we can help you with because we don't want to disrespect you or make you feel any more hurt by this accident, but at the same time, we do want to help.

 

People like us, trying to help, will make a few mistakes about what to say or do.  We might not always be available because of our own obligations, but we'll find ways.  And yes, we might accidentally make you uncomfortable just by offering to help because it could remind you of the long road to recovery and maybe coming to terms with some health limitations you never thought you'd have at this age.  You might even worry about being felt sorry for or for bringing us down or that you might tear up around us.  Or not - I don't know, I'm just casting those out there.  The point is that having people to talk with about it, or anything else except the accident - your choice - WILL HELP, I earnestly believe that.  In my own case with 4-level cervical stenosis and a scary surgery in Germany, I found it vital to talk with as many people as I could to give the thing a shared reality and extra perspectives to help me think through options.  Anyone who knows me could confirm that admitting I couldn't figure it all out on my own was a huge impediment to me until I broke that habit and went the opposite direction.  It was a huge breakthrough, and helped me see options and take action that ultimately helped me in untold ways.  Honestly, having people to talk to without fear of judgement or pity is huge.

 

Could a few of us meet you in Galion sometime?  Or how about a phone call?  FaceTime or Skype?  I'm not trying to pick you up - LOL - but if you let us get creative, we might be able to broaden your perspective and calm down some of the spiraling that can frankly become obsessing.

 

Like I said, I suck at this, but does any of that connect in any way for the better?

- Scott

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I really appreciate all the support here... It seems there's no where to turn to for help. I can't ask for help, I wouldn't even know what or how to ask.

 

I'll have to look up where Galion is... 

 

You're entitled to feel shitty.  Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.  That said, happiness is, at least in part, a choice. 

 

I can assure you that there are people on this site who care what happens to you, and how your life progresses - but (speaking for myself, mainly) we don't always know how to act either.   I would love for you to be able to vent about things, but I don't want to come across as nosy.  I'd be happy to offer up 'help,' or just hang out if all you're looking for is a little piece of normal pre-crash human interaction, but it would feel like an imposition to invite myself to hang out with you. 

 

Most of us are going to be as uncomfortable reaching out to you as you are reaching out to us.  So by all means, if there's something we can do, let's cut the foreplay and just get it set up :-)

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Your current mental state/health is a result of the accident.  The at fault driver is responsible for that. Check and see if you can get professional help on their dime.  I think it really could help you.

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Your current mental state/health is a result of the accident.  The at fault driver is responsible for that. Check and see if you can get professional help on their dime.  I think it really could help you.

 

Excellent point Tonik.  I've found counseling to be very helpful.  It always made me feel like I was doing something about my situation, like I was taking charge.

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As mentioned you are a brother of ours! Let us know what you need or want and we are there for you whether its someone to talk too, someone to have a beer with or financial assistance paying for bills that are behind do to your accident. If you don't feel you want to state your needs in a public forum just PM one of us and we will take it from there. Were all standing here right by your side man and ready to do anything we can for a fellow rider and brother!

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To add onto that, I'm not 100% clear on your current condition, Travis.  I'm gathering that your injuries are pretty serious, and I saw your comment about never being able to work again, but what does that really mean?

 

I'm not going to pretend that your future is going to be all rainbows and puppies, but there's reason to be hopeful about the future of medical science, and an improved quality of life.   Shit, even just voice-control technology is changing the game for people with spinal injuries.

 

Again, i'm not trying to be nosy by asking, and it's absolutely easy for me to armchair quarterback this situation into something rosier than you're feeling, but I've always been of the opinion that there is no such thing as "false hope."  All hope is either real, or lost.

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I really appreciate all the support here... It seems there's no where to turn to for help. I can't ask for help, I wouldn't even know what or how to ask.

 

 

Your current mental state/health is a result of the accident.  The at fault driver is responsible for that. Check and see if you can get professional help on their dime.  I think it really could help you.

 

^^^This^^^

There are professionals that know exactly how to ask the right questions to ease you into finding resolve, as long as you're truthful in your answers. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hey guys. I've went to get professional help, they believe I'm suffering from a form of PTSD... We're working through things trying to eliminate the nightmeres every night. Physically I am doing a lot better. Someone anonymously paid for a YMCA membership for a month for me to try doing some PT on my own since my insurance won't pay for more.

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4 minutes ago, GixxerTravis said:

Hey guys. I've went to get professional help, they believe I'm suffering from a form of PTSD... We're working through things trying to eliminate the nightmeres every night. Physically I am doing a lot better. Someone anonymously paid for a YMCA membership for a month for me to try doing some PT on my own since my insurance won't pay for more.

Sounds excellent.  Think about it - you experienced one hell of a trauma that shook your very foundations - of course your brain and body are still recoiling.

I had a really minor lay-down on an on-ramp a couple years ago.  I bruised my knee up pretty good but I was otherwise OK.  Even with that small amount of damage, I was more cautious with right-hand leaning turns than left-hand ones.

Your case was far, far worse.  Be patient and focus on the incremental improvements.  It's going to take a bunch of work, but you're already generating your own rewards!

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Glad to hear from you, and even more happy to hear that things have started to turn around for you.   

The attorney in me needs to know more about this settlement, but DO NOT talk about it if you have any kind of confidentiality agreement.  I would be interested to know if this was a criminal restitution order, or a civil judgment.  The latter certainly seems appropriate in this case, but that's hard to say definitively without knowing all the facts.

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I am glad to hear you are doing better. Is the Y membership helping? if it does, we could put together a donation at the meets for you if not we can still donate money to help with other expenses. If you are ok with it, I will handle it at the Dayton and Cbus meet and greets.

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