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I'm almost totally sure that I'm as tall or taller than you are. You might want to start wearing hats on a consistant basis, the sun must be penetrating your ever-thinning hair and affecting your brainpower.

 

I guess I'll concede to you that you are, in fact, funnier than I am at talking shit on the internet. That doesn't change the fact that youre a balding, white, overweight cell-phone jockey. I hope you can forget all that though, and enjoy your title as king of the kitchen.

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taller, and uglier, too. jon has a blank, helpless sort of face, rather like a rose just before you drench it with DDT. he is brave, though, to keep on like this. jon doesn't know the meaning of the word fear, but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words. some people don't hesitate to speak their minds because they have nothing to lose.

 

jon, never enter a battle of wits unarmed. its unbecoming. ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.

 

jon, you have low self esteem. i know it, you know it, everyone on this board knows it. to act as if you tossed my name in there to bait me to get at you is ludicrous. you fucked up, and now youre looking dumb because of it.

 

what do we know about jon? he has no car thats worthy of the title, yet he frequesnts a message board for automotive enthusiasts. the first time he gets laid at college, he posts about it, in detail. his favorite people to hang out with are the smarter, older people. he plays poker, not because hes good at it, but because its trendy. same reason he wears abercrombie and fitch. no one has ever seen him with a girl, here in columbus. jon is the kind of guy who sends mixed messages. a bit of facial hair, as if to say, "im a man, a dangerous man", and then a backwards hat, as if to say, "im just a little boy at heart." the truth of the matter is that jon is no different from thousands of other wannabes. like the little dog in the warner brothers cartoons that incessantly bounces around and annoys the bulldog, spike, you bark arrogantly at anyone passing by, and then cower, terrified, behind the big dogs legs when someone throws a rock at you. go away, jon. your fucking bothering me.

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Don't wear my hat backwards, ever. Marc, Morgan, and Rigs have seen the kind of girls I get when I'm single, and Ben and some others saw my girlfriend of a long ass time. I'm never helpess or short on opinions, you should know that by now, at least. Uglier? Shit, I didn;t know that girl's had started to find pastiness and rolls attractive... maybe I was too busy out getting girls you wish you could have.

 

 

I haven't gotten worse than third in any of the 10 or so poker turnaments that I've played down here. Over my lifetime, I'd say im plus around 700 or so dollars.

 

Sorry if I never brought girls out on dates to Columbus Racing meets, just never seemed right to bring a girl out to meet a bunch of sweaty fat guys and stand around in parking lots...

 

I was really hoping for something more creative from you, since everyone knows that you have no shit to talk about my real life, and the real people that matter know whats up. I'm really sick of telling you just how wrong you are, so why don;t you go watch nick-at-nite or something, and leave the keyboard alone, it needs a break from the Cheetos stains you're getting all over it.

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Originally posted by Orion:

what do we know about jon? he has no car thats worthy of the title, yet he frequesnts a message board for automotive enthusiasts. the first time he gets laid at college, he posts about it, in detail. his favorite people to hang out with are the smarter, older people. he plays poker, not because hes good at it, but because its trendy. same reason he wears abercrombie and fitch. no one has ever seen him with a girl, here in columbus. jon is the kind of guy who sends mixed messages. a bit of facial hair, as if to say, "im a man, a dangerous man", and then a backwards hat, as if to say, "im just a little boy at heart." the truth of the matter is that jon is no different from thousands of other wannabes. like the little dog in the warner brothers cartoons that incessantly bounces around and annoys the bulldog, spike, you bark arrogantly at anyone passing by, and then cower, terrified, behind the big dogs legs when someone throws a rock at you. go away, jon. your fucking bothering me.

What are we, Back in highschool? For your age DJ I'd figure you to be a little beyond the whole "You're just doing it because it's a trend" argument. I wear Abercrombie, and play poker just about every weekend with four friends. I'v also never brought any of my Girlfriends to any meets. But no ones questiond me, or doubted me.

 

I enjoy wearing nice cloths, as im sure many others do. So if this is going to turn into a prep vs. whatever, you might as well call everyone out who plays poker that where Abercrombie & Fitch and talks about how much ass they get.

 

Altho Jon, I want to see some pics soon ;)

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jon...

 

that wasn't a bad effort for a drooling spastic with a rather large hole in its rather small head. i haven't seen anything that impressive since the that chinese down's syndrome kid threw a javelin a full seven feet at the last special olympics. admittedly, it stuck in the chest of his coach who was standing seven feet behind him, but it was still pretty impressive. but then, world records are nothing new to you. You hold the world record for repeatedly stepping on a rake. a record you accidentally acquired while attempting to escape from the secure wing of the alabama care home for the deeply, deeply disturbed. unfortunately, the best laid plans of mice and abject imbeciles often go astray. thus, having distracted your care workers attention through the fiendishly clever expedient of pointing at a pigeon and saying "oh, look! a pigeon!", you only succeeded in making nine feet of your escape across the grounds and over the wall to freedom, before stepping on a rake and having the handle of it bolt up and smack you on your face. dazed, you stepped back, before attempting to proceed with your escape, whereupon you stepped on the very same rake again and received another smack on your face from the handle. this pattern continued for forty-three minutes and twenty-seven seconds until your care worker regained his composure from laughing at such a hapless dolt and took you back to the secure ward. an unenviable world record, no doubt - but a world record nonetheless. You also hold the record for the worlds biggest balls. however, the 'balls' are morbidly pathological hemorrhoids that have inflated to the size of basketballs, and not testicles. nevertheless, you are still able to lead a relatively normal cyber life as a run-of-the-mill internet 'tard despite your handicap. offline mobility is secured by pulling a wheelbarrow behind you that contains your two massive balls. remarkably, you also hold the record for the worlds smallest balls. apparently, you feel that you are a woman in a man's body and attribute your tiny testicles to the sheer force of willing them not to grow. however, this claim is easily dismissed by pointing out that your daily estrogenic injections are largely responsible for the phenomena along with the botched chromosome "Eunuch-Y" which is common in your male family line. clearly, you are an idiot of the first rank, and the poster child of gibbering spastics everywhere. now, apart from botching my brilliant and original insulting style by unsuccessfully imitating it, what else can you do badly? monkey see, monkey do, eh? being the only man to ever manage to get his tongue stuck the spacebar and ALT key on a keyboard, i'm sure you displayed your impressive ability to say and do incredibly stupid things as soon as you learned to speak and move about. indeed, through constant practice coupled with natural talent, i'm sure you have perfected the craft of saying stupid things to the level of an art form that only botched lobotomy patients and those suffering from gangrene of the brain stem can come close to equaling.

 

and stop lying. if what i said hadnt been true, you wouldnt have defended yourself so hard that you didnt even throw an insult at me. youve got a lot to learn, boy.

 

ben...

 

you're the saddest, piss-poor excuse for a man I've ever seen, you little sherry-sipping frenchman in a latex mini-skirt. i'm not surprised you're single, you pimple-faced perpetual wedgie victim. i bet you put pubic hairs between your teeth just to make it look like you get laid? If you're average looking, i'm brad pitt. your face should be sued for attempting to impersonate a human, you freakish gargoyle. calling you a pea brain would be an insult to peas, you jellyfish-sucking mental midget. You scrawny-assed, anorexic african famine victim; if you had dreads, i'd grab you by your ankles and use you to mop the floor. do you get a clearer idea of how pathetic you are, you minimum wage earning human equivalent of a bidet? i've seen wounds that were better dressed than you are, you toad-lickin', hound-kickin', snot-flickin', inbred swamp spawn! why don't you stop gyrating that gaping misplaced asshole of a mouth on your face for a fucking minute so I can see what the fuck a gibbering witless gimp actually looks like?

 

and by the way, no one gives a fuck what you think, either.

 

graemlins/nonono.gif

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Originally posted by Orion:

jon...

 

that wasn't a bad effort for a drooling spastic with a rather large hole in its rather small head. i haven't seen anything that impressive since the that chinese down's syndrome kid threw a javelin a full seven feet at the last special olympics. admittedly, it stuck in the chest of his coach who was standing seven feet behind him, but it was still pretty impressive. but then, world records are nothing new to you. You hold the world record for repeatedly stepping on a rake. a record you accidentally acquired while attempting to escape from the secure wing of the alabama care home for the deeply, deeply disturbed. unfortunately, the best laid plans of mice and abject imbeciles often go astray. thus, having distracted your care workers attention through the fiendishly clever expedient of pointing at a pigeon and saying "oh, look! a pigeon!", you only succeeded in making nine feet of your escape across the grounds and over the wall to freedom, before stepping on a rake and having the handle of it bolt up and smack you on your face. dazed, you stepped back, before attempting to proceed with your escape, whereupon you stepped on the very same rake again and received another smack on your face from the handle. this pattern continued for forty-three minutes and twenty-seven seconds until your care worker regained his composure from laughing at such a hapless dolt and took you back to the secure ward. an unenviable world record, no doubt - but a world record nonetheless. You also hold the record for the worlds biggest balls. however, the 'balls' are morbidly pathological hemorrhoids that have inflated to the size of basketballs, and not testicles. nevertheless, you are still able to lead a relatively normal cyber life as a run-of-the-mill internet 'tard despite your handicap. offline mobility is secured by pulling a wheelbarrow behind you that contains your two massive balls. remarkably, you also hold the record for the worlds smallest balls. apparently, you feel that you are a woman in a man's body and attribute your tiny testicles to the sheer force of willing them not to grow. however, this claim is easily dismissed by pointing out that your daily estrogenic injections are largely responsible for the phenomena along with the botched chromosome "Eunuch-Y" which is common in your male family line. clearly, you are an idiot of the first rank, and the poster child of gibbering spastics everywhere. now, apart from botching my brilliant and original insulting style by unsuccessfully imitating it, what else can you do badly? monkey see, monkey do, eh? being the only man to ever manage to get his tongue stuck the spacebar and ALT key on a keyboard, i'm sure you displayed your impressive ability to say and do incredibly stupid things as soon as you learned to speak and move about. indeed, through constant practice coupled with natural talent, i'm sure you have perfected the craft of saying stupid things to the level of an art form that only botched lobotomy patients and those suffering from gangrene of the brain stem can come close to equaling.

 

and stop lying. if what i said hadnt been true, you wouldnt have defended yourself so hard that you didnt even throw an insult at me. youve got a lot to learn, boy.

 

ben...

 

you're the saddest, piss-poor excuse for a man I've ever seen, you little sherry-sipping frenchman in a latex mini-skirt. i'm not surprised you're single, you pimple-faced perpetual wedgie victim. i bet you put pubic hairs between your teeth just to make it look like you get laid? If you're average looking, i'm brad pitt. your face should be sued for attempting to impersonate a human, you freakish gargoyle. calling you a pea brain would be an insult to peas, you jellyfish-sucking mental midget. You scrawny-assed, anorexic african famine victim; if you had dreads, i'd grab you by your ankles and use you to mop the floor. do you get a clearer idea of how pathetic you are, you minimum wage earning human equivalent of a bidet? i've seen wounds that were better dressed than you are, you toad-lickin', hound-kickin', snot-flickin', inbred swamp spawn! why don't you stop gyrating that gaping misplaced asshole of a mouth on your face for a fucking minute so I can see what the fuck a gibbering witless gimp actually looks like?

 

and by the way, no one gives a fuck what you think, either.

 

graemlins/nonono.gif

graemlins/thatfunny.gif
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So now I'm a pathetic excuse for a human, when you argue over the internet so much that they name a web forum after you. Should I apoligize to you for staying a bit more helthy that you? I work hard to stay at an adverge weight. Hopfully when I'm your age I havn't turnd into the sloppy overweight mutt you have. It should be against the law to be as lazy as you appear, Sitting infront of the computer arguing with College students, get out of the house man. Maybe put a little effort into your hygean, you know clean up those pit stains you get when walking from the computer to the frig. and back to the computer.

 

[ 11. October 2004, 07:32 PM: Message edited by: BenTSi ]

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how is that flesh-eating parasite that infected your brain? has it starved to death yet? no one said you had to a-p-o-l-o-g-i-z-e for being h-e-a-l-t-h-y, but it would be nice of you to say youre sorry for being an idiot. anyway, let's dispense with social pleasantries: take a chair; face the blackboard, and pay attention while I explain the 'Theory Of Why You Are A Pitiful Fuckweasel' to you. after reading your inept missive, i can't decide if syntax, logic, or control of your bowels is your weakest skill. you seem to excel in areas requiring dazzling ineptitude. perhaps you should run for US President? (although I doubt many would take a passive-aggressive dwarf hunchback in a wheelchair handing out 'Fuckweasel For President' pamphlets seriously. But it still beats that 1950's pram your mother occasionally pushes you around in.) isn't it tragic that your mother wanted a daughter, but squirted-out a human carbuncular instead? stupidity doesn't just run in your family, it does the decathlon and heptathlon at olympic level. contrary to your impudent assertion, you slanderous blackguard, i have painstakingly analysed all of the problems submitted to me by hordes of hapless and woebegone plebeians and answered each one with a magnitude of profound empathy, wisdom and human compassion worthy of recognition by a Nobel Peace Prize. while it is appropriate that you should be envious of my superlative self, I suggest that you moderate the severity of the querulous and begrudging nature of your crux idée fixe, lest it lax your fingertip grip on reality and send you plunging into an abyss of irreversible lunacy. lord knows, you're already halfway there. if you so desire, i am happy to engage you in any physical test of strength you choose. its clear, though, that on a mental level, you meet your match discoursing with your average garden slug.
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Originally posted by MadMalibu:

DJ = weaksauce.

-Marc

technically, you're a man. technically, so is a she-male ladyboy from thailand. in reality, you're nothing more than a pitiful gin-sodden excuse for anything other than a rancid polesmoker! you're the kind of greasy, giggling, girly gombeen who buys STDs from a viral lab just to make it look like you get laid. you have a face that would give Freddie Kruger nightmares. how much would you change to haunt a house? like your height, everything about you is average; except your stench - which is overwhelming. what you are - besides a pitiable little carnival freak - is a watery bowel movement bubbling back up to the surface after a pregnant water buffalo farts in a muddy river.

 

i almost feel bad taking three of you on at a time. i know its not fair, but, hey, you guys started it.

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How tall are you DJ?

 

You can tell you went to Columbus public; that last post made my head hurt.

 

When you can get the few brain cells you have left to work long enough to put together a complete sentence you may resume posting in this thread.

 

Get up, walk your big ass away from your computer, take off your trekie ear piece and get some fresh air. Maybe then you will regain some of the brain power you've lost "owning the kitchen" to make a worthwhile comeback.

 

Junior.

-Marc

 

[ 12. October 2004, 07:51 PM: Message edited by: MadMalibu ]

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Originally posted by MadMalibu:

How tall are you DJ?

 

You can tell you went to Columbus public; that last post made my head hurt.

 

When you can get the few brain cells you have left to work long enough to put togeather a complete sentence you may resume posting in this thread.

 

Get up, walk your big ass away from your computer, take off your trekie ear piece and get some fresh air. Mabey then you will reagain some of the brain power you've lost "owning the kitchen" to make a worthwhile comeback.

 

Junior. graemlins/slap.gif

-Marc

Funny or not funny:

Marc mis-spelling almost every word in a post insulting DJ's brain power?

 

I vote funny. tongue.gif

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Originally posted by Mensan:

Funny or not funny:

Marc mis-spelling almost every word in a post insulting DJ's brain power?

 

I vote funny. tongue.gif

No, what's really funny is that it doesn't take any brain power to spell check something in MS Word or another program of that nature, just a little bit of common sense. But then again, anyone that would take DJ on when he is on this kind of roll must not have very much common sense.
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