Question for da boyz on the practices of dating!

[shittygsxr]

chivalry is dead.

and women killed it.

John you are so wise..

Sara you are not dating children so they should not text you at 2am unless it reads "I didnt want to wake you but if you are up I would like to talk to you for a bit"

Nice guys don't finish last either, after years of hard work they get the girl, of course after she is divorced, her body is wrecked and has a couple of kids. Then you get to support her and her kids.

[jarvismb]

I think I may be a little late coming into this thing too, but I'd like to at least add a perspective on the TXT/IM thing that I had a long (drunk) discussion about in college that made a lot of sense later (when I woke up on the floor).

The appeal for guys with texting is very simple - we can plan out our attack and not be on the spot. Guys and girls both see the movies with well written and wittty dialogue that has the man saying jsut the right thing at the right time with the right attitude to sweep the woman off her feet. We see this and we think, "oh, that's how it sounds". However, when we try it in person it never sounds as good as it does on TV. And why should it? No one wrote us great lines, or edited the scenes for perfect transitions, but we're disappointed anyway. There lies the appeal of texting! We get to type a response, then read over it and edit it and get it just right before we send it. Can't get it right? Call a friend into the room to help! You've got time now because you don't need to respond in real time like you would in person. Taking too long? Just say someone knocked on the door, then you have all the time in the world to fine tune your one-liners so you sound like George Clooney from all those movies girls love.

See? Texting is the great trick we've all found to sound great in conversation. Even if it isn't really a conversation....

[shittygsxr]

I think I may be a little late coming into this thing too, but I'd like to at least add a perspective on the TXT/IM thing that I had a long (drunk) discussion about in college that made a lot of sense later (when I woke up on the floor).

The appeal for guys with texting is very simple - we can plan out our attack and not be on the spot. Guys and girls both see the movies with well written and wittty dialogue that has the man saying jsut the right thing at the right time with the right attitude to sweep the woman off her feet. We see this and we think, "oh, that's how it sounds". However, when we try it in person it never sounds as good as it does on TV. And why should it? No one wrote us great lines, or edited the scenes for perfect transitions, but we're disappointed anyway. There lies the appeal of texting! We get to type a response, then read over it and edit it and get it just right before we send it. Can't get it right? Call a friend into the room to help! You've got time now because you don't need to respond in real time like you would in person. Taking too long? Just say someone knocked on the door, then you have all the time in the world to fine tune your one-liners so you sound like George Clooney from all those movies girls love.

See? Texting is the great trick we've all found to sound great in conversation. Even if it isn't really a conversation....

Really ????? you think those one liners work well via the internet ????

[jarvismb]

Seriously, you should see the time and effort some guys I've lived with would put into making sure the response to an IM chat with a girl was just right. They never would have been able to do that in person, but since they had the time to write and edit their responses, they felt a lot better about what they were saying.

You can accidentally say something stupid in a real conversation, but with texting, you have time to think of something better before you respond. Lots of people like that security blanket, hence the appeal of texting for so many people.

Of course, as with everything I type here, it's all just my opinion....

[schmuckingham]

I think I may be a little late coming into this thing too, but I'd like to at least add a perspective on the TXT/IM thing that I had a long (drunk) discussion about in college that made a lot of sense later (when I woke up on the floor).

The appeal for guys with texting is very simple - we can plan out our attack and not be on the spot. Guys and girls both see the movies with well written and wittty dialogue that has the man saying jsut the right thing at the right time with the right attitude to sweep the woman off her feet. We see this and we think, "oh, that's how it sounds". However, when we try it in person it never sounds as good as it does on TV. And why should it? No one wrote us great lines, or edited the scenes for perfect transitions, but we're disappointed anyway. There lies the appeal of texting! We get to type a response, then read over it and edit it and get it just right before we send it. Can't get it right? Call a friend into the room to help! You've got time now because you don't need to respond in real time like you would in person. Taking too long? Just say someone knocked on the door, then you have all the time in the world to fine tune your one-liners so you sound like George Clooney from all those movies girls love.

See? Texting is the great trick we've all found to sound great in conversation. Even if it isn't really a conversation....

Key word is college

[jarvismb]

Really ????? you think those one liners work well via the internet ????

I was attempting to be facetious with the whole George Clooney/one-liners thing, but I'm clearly not very good at it....

[jarvismb]

Key word is college

I'm in violent agreement, but I'm 26 now and we fall within the TXT/IM generations pretty hard, and it seems like there's just no getting around it. Whether I like it or not, it's just how a decent portion of my friends choose to communicate, because that's what everyone did in college and after, so it just seems like habit by now.

I get the feeling some people talk more to strangers on their video games than their friends and family. They just get TXT....

[Disclaimer]

I'm in violent agreement

Quoted for interesting adjective-verb choice.

[jarvismb]

Everyone had used all the good ones, the adjective bin was pretty meager. It's all I could come up with.

[magley64]

Just wait until you get dumped through MySpace or Facebook... that's where the real burn is. One of my g/fs friends didn't realize she was broken up with her 27 yr old boyfriend until she got on and checked his Facebook profile.

That screams class and maturity right therrrre.

my last g/f dumped me twice, the first time it was via email...

the second time via facebook...

[InyaAzz]

I think that depends on the girl. I've dated & married enough jack asses to last me a lifetime. People can change. To disprove ur point (and to get u going)....I have a guy friend who is the sweetest thing in the world. I've been good friends with him for 8 years. I NEVER have been attracted to him b/c he was just "too nice". He's seen me through all my traumatized relationships, helped me move several times, and the dude even helped me lay sod when I build my new home years ago. Back then I was thinking oh this is just my brother in Christ. Now I look at him and I see his character and integrity. NOW I am extremely attracted to him b/c of who he is. He never changed. I did. I got sick and tired of getting treated like crap and now my affections are set on the men who will treat me like a princess.

Well you need to clone yourself. Do you know how many women out there continually go back to the men who treat them like shit? They have a good man right in front of them, and they find a reason..ANY reason to play him to the left. I see that ALL the time.

[e-flores]

I think I may be a little late coming into this thing too, but I'd like to at least add a perspective on the TXT/IM thing that I had a long (drunk) discussion about in college that made a lot of sense later (when I woke up on the floor).

The appeal for guys with texting is very simple - we can plan out our attack and not be on the spot. Guys and girls both see the movies with well written and wittty dialogue that has the man saying jsut the right thing at the right time with the right attitude to sweep the woman off her feet. We see this and we think, "oh, that's how it sounds". However, when we try it in person it never sounds as good as it does on TV. And why should it? No one wrote us great lines, or edited the scenes for perfect transitions, but we're disappointed anyway. There lies the appeal of texting! We get to type a response, then read over it and edit it and get it just right before we send it. Can't get it right? Call a friend into the room to help! You've got time now because you don't need to respond in real time like you would in person. Taking too long? Just say someone knocked on the door, then you have all the time in the world to fine tune your one-liners so you sound like George Clooney from all those movies girls love.

See? Texting is the great trick we've all found to sound great in conversation. Even if it isn't really a conversation....

I wouldn't consider it being a trick, i say man up make the mistake and if you mess up you mess up learn from it, texting is a bum way of picking up a girl.

And zero what you use texting for is great but i think that is all texting should be used for in a relationship.

[jarvismb]

Maybe I should clarify my litte blurb up there. It should be read in a humerous manner. Please don't think I actualy run around talking about this like I've found some hole in the universe and it's a great revelation. I know this is not sage advice, but I think it's an interesting perspective from people that do it. I just tried to embelish the description for some entertainment. Swing and a miss I guess, sorry.

Just imagine the same person that writes "OMG chk ths out yo!" and read it in the annoyingly excited voice that comes to mind....

[Big Chief201]

1. Chivalry is not dead completely but the way women treat men is causing it to be. Example one: Dated a girl for 5 years opened doors, paid for everything, always did nice "romantic" things for her; what did I get in return? Her banging some other guy and not even a t-shirt out of it. Example two: Girl I've been interested in I open the doors, pay for just about everything, always asking her to hang out what not and what do I get nothing literally I think she is asexual.
   
2. I HATE TEXTING!!!!! The girl I am interested in will text me and I'll try to call her and get no answer but a text back. So I finally told her I hate texting and to call me and I got no call figures.

Women need to open their eyes and see what is in front of them, be straight forward no beating around the bush, and just think a little before you act. Sorry for the rant and yes I am bitter!!

[Kip Drordy]

Example two: Girl I've been interested in I open the doors, pay for just about everything, always asking her to hang out what not and what do I get nothing literally I think she is asexual.

Sorry for the rant and yes I am bitter!!

sounds like suitor #2 needs to be a little more "open" with you if you get my drift.

[Fonzie]

The death march of chivalry started when women demanded equal pay/rights & to be treated the same as men. I.E...workplace, military, dating, etc

You can't have it both ways ladies.....Make up your minds. You don't want to be treated differently.....until you do. You can't have your cake & eat it too

And then you wonder why guys are confused

[SAMBUSA]

OK.....Getting in on this one LATE....but..."FriendZone" SUX!! Used to end up there all the time in jr. high & HS. Got some life changing advice from some of my roomates girlfriends' one night. They all agreed on this & told me......"You're TOO nice. Girls don't like nice guys....They LIKE nice dicks!" Not the genitalia, but the attitude. Once they clued me into that "secret"......It was GAME ON!!! Major manwhoring ensued!! And yeah....In case you're wondering....That's exactly how I got my wife

After a couple weeks of cat & mouse and one of my friends hangin' with her & her friends quite a bit thinkin' maybe he was gettin' somewhere, she asked me 2 nights in a row if I usually go out on those nights (Wed & Thurs).......I looked her dead in the eye & said.....Are you ready for this one ....make sure you got room for your jaw to drop......"You know....I can't figure you out!"....."Why's that??"....."Well....I can't tell if you're really as nice as you seem.....or if you're just a bitch hiding behind a friendly facade"......And then I got up from our table & walked back to my dept., leaving her sitting there by herself That is....Until she came over to my dept. on her next rotation, answered my questions, and walked off herself. leaving me standing there this time.

Few hours later we were on our first date. Now fast forward 16 years & 4 kids!!

And to answer your question about the texting phenomenon.......I have 2 early teens & a tween. The oldest WILL NOT use a landline to call his friends, or go knock on the door to see if they wanna do something/hang out like we used to when we were kids. In fact...He won't call at all. Strictly texting or IM'ing. He was even trying to win a girl over by "chatting" her all the time

So when you were dating, was the cell phone invented yet?

[redbarron77]

no!

[InyaAzz]

In my experience...a lot of women NEED the 'nice, responsible' guy. but what they WANT is the bad boy/asshole. Most times, when you are done fucking around with the asshole, the nice guy isn't there anymore.

Same token, some guys try to play the friend role...and it can be genuine friendship...with the hope of more in the future. Most women don't even respect that..they will take all you have to give..and smile and say thanks. But really, who is using who? I think both sides have some 'splaining to do.

I guess I could say the same thing for men..I know a lot of dudes that have good women but choose to fuck around or not take care of business. Then the clean up man comes along and they wonder why big dick derrick is sticking it to their wife. Goes both ways I guess. Like Foizie alluded to..if both sides were completely honest from the get go, there wouldn't be any issue. Me, I'm too mature to play those games any more. If i think you are using me..or not 100%, I'm kicking yo ass to tha curb.

[dustinsn3485]

This thread shed's such insight on relational issues. We need a OR.net Dear Abby. hehe.

I have nothing to contribute with this particular post for the time being, for multiple reasons.

It is really good to read and see all these different perspectives and views, not only texting, but general relationship woes.

Thanks.

[NinjaNick]

The death march of chivalry started when women demanded equal pay/rights & to be treated the same as men. I.E...workplace, military, dating, etc

I never thought of it that way. You do make a valid arguement there. Hmm.

[fusion]

The death march of chivalry started when women demanded equal pay/rights & to be treated the same as men. I.E...workplace, military, dating, etc

You can't have it both ways ladies.....Make up your minds. You don't want to be treated differently.....until you do. You can't have your cake & eat it too

And then you wonder why guys are confused

I have no problem with women wanting to be equals and wanting to be treated like a Queen, she just has to remember that I'm the King.

[SchmuckGirl]

The death march of chivalry started when women demanded equal pay/rights & to be treated the same as men. I.E...workplace, military, dating, etc

You can't have it both ways ladies.....Make up your minds. You don't want to be treated differently.....until you do. You can't have your cake & eat it too

And then you wonder why guys are confused

Really? cause I think that we can and everyone will still be happy. Why can't we have equal pay/rights and still be treated chivalrously? I split the cost of everything in my relationship. I don't expect to be handed anything and I realize that if I want something, I get it for myself. I don't feel that I am spoiled. I still want my significant other to treat me with chivalry and do nice things for me b/c I do the same for him. It's all give and take. I figure, if I am taking care of him and he of me, no one is left out. I am not talking about monetary things here but that's not what chivalry is about, right?

Maybe I am mixing up terms here. Nothing is more annoying than girls that expect for everything to be handed to them by a man. I can't stand that crap and I think it gives women a bad name. I am just saying that it's nice to have the door held for you or to get his coat when you are cold or for him to protect you in some way or show he is thinking of you.... we return the favor by cooking a good meal or sewing your shirt back together when it is coming apart or writing you a little love note.

Anyway, argument directed at no one in particular, I just certainly hope chivalry isn't dead.

[redbarron77]

the current status of chivalry also seems to depend on where you are living in the US. In Ohio I rarely saw 20-30 something males doing the car door "thing, or opening doors for women.

Since I've moved down to TX, I've seen a LOT more of the chivalry "thing" from the folks that have grown up here. Also, I've heard a bunch more of the "Sir/Ma'am" responses....and that's not aged based

Chivalry is a mindset or an act. If it is second nature for a guy to naturally do these things for women, they can tell. It also needs to be second nature for the women to accept these acts and appreciate them.

IMHO, not only do women have the ability to see when I guy is being chivalrous naturally(or they are faking it to try and get laid), but they also have a radar for Desperation (D-Dar). If you are desperate, their D-Dar goes off, and you get nowhere!

[NinjaNick]

I don't consider these points being made as chivalry, but more as just normal. I do that stuff and never realize it. Chivalry makes me think of a princess being rescued from an evil wizard in some old castle.