Jump to content

taking a dump after a shower


cptn janks

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 55
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

one of the good ones where you wipe and wonder if anything even came out because there is nothing on the tissue.

 

I believe you're referring to "Acein' It" or a "Clean Sweep" as I like to call them. Those are fabulous.

 

I always shit before I take a shower, cuz you're about to get clean anyways and nothing makes the wake-up shower feel better than dropping a basketball sized chocolate mud baby in the porcelain tomb. And you can never deuce during a shower, because then you might slip off the seat, and the stank from your shit will get soaked in the walls with the steam. In conclusion, I hate droppin a deuce after a shower as well, but thats why I squeeze out my fudgesicles beforehand.

 

And that, my friends, is Pooping 101.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've pooped in the shower before, on accident. It's a funny story.. I had just woken up, got in the shower, and sharted. I looked on the ground and saw a few little diarreah turds so I let the water hit my shoulder, aiming the water streaming down my arm running off my fingers at them to help break them free off the tub floor. Success, I merged them all into the middle drainward-bound stream and off they went like little mudboats. I bent over and spread my cheeks, letting the water hit my back and stream through my buttcrack to clean shop.

 

I obviously don't learn much from my mistakes because I tried farting again.. while bent over. An anal explosion of half digested sam adams and chipotle spattered all over the wall, faucet, and girlfriend's loofa. I probably should have told her, but I thought it would be funnier if I didn't. It was.

omfg i'm nominating this for best post of 2006. it had me and my roommate laughing our asses off, and people are coming in from the hall to read this and just fucking dying.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've pooped in the shower before, on accident. It's a funny story.. I had just woken up, got in the shower, and sharted. I looked on the ground and saw a few little diarreah turds so I let the water hit my shoulder, aiming the water streaming down my arm running off my fingers at them to help break them free off the tub floor. Success, I merged them all into the middle drainward-bound stream and off they went like little mudboats. I bent over and spread my cheeks, letting the water hit my back and stream through my buttcrack to clean shop.

 

I obviously don't learn much from my mistakes because I tried farting again.. while bent over. An anal explosion of half digested sam adams and chipotle spattered all over the wall, faucet, and girlfriend's loofa. I probably should have told her, but I thought it would be funnier if I didn't. It was.

 

HAHAHA, about fell out of my chair. :eek: My God....that__was__awesome :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've pooped in the shower before, on accident. It's a funny story.. I had just woken up, got in the shower, and sharted. I looked on the ground and saw a few little diarreah turds so I let the water hit my shoulder, aiming the water streaming down my arm running off my fingers at them to help break them free off the tub floor. Success, I merged them all into the middle drainward-bound stream and off they went like little mudboats. I bent over and spread my cheeks, letting the water hit my back and stream through my buttcrack to clean shop.

 

I obviously don't learn much from my mistakes because I tried farting again.. while bent over. An anal explosion of half digested sam adams and chipotle spattered all over the wall, faucet, and girlfriend's loofa. I probably should have told her, but I thought it would be funnier if I didn't. It was.

 

 

that sir is classic.

 

on a side note anyone ever take a crap soo big it left you hungry????

Link to comment
Share on other sites

And you can never deuce during a shower, because then you might slip off the seat, and the stank from your shit will get soaked in the walls with the steam.

 

Ah, the rare but extremely toxic element FARTONIUM!

 

Fartonium (far tone ee yum)

Number 7.5 on the Periodic Table of Elements

 

An unaturally occuring element created when bodily toxins in the form of methane gas, including small particulates of fecal matter, are expelled and mixed with shower steam.

 

This element is highly toxic and causes instantainoius choking on your own bile and the overwelming urge to fling open the shower curtain/door and convulsively gasp for air.

 

An extremely rare but lethal isotope of this element can be created by the ingestion of massive amounts of cheap beer, a campus gyro, and White Castles.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:nono: Awesome...

 

Awhile back I got a stomach virus and couldn't quit shitting or feeling like I had to shit. I wiped my ass so much it bled a little and hurt like hell. It got to where I was willing to get in the shower than wipe my ass everytime. Now, it's only the best tp for my butt's discerning tastes.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've pooped in the shower before, on accident. It's a funny story.. I had just woken up, got in the shower, and sharted. I looked on the ground and saw a few little diarreah turds so I let the water hit my shoulder, aiming the water streaming down my arm running off my fingers at them to help break them free off the tub floor. Success, I merged them all into the middle drainward-bound stream and off they went like little mudboats. I bent over and spread my cheeks, letting the water hit my back and stream through my buttcrack to clean shop.

 

I obviously don't learn much from my mistakes because I tried farting again.. while bent over. An anal explosion of half digested sam adams and chipotle spattered all over the wall, faucet, and girlfriend's loofa. I probably should have told her, but I thought it would be funnier if I didn't. It was.

 

and the oscar for best post ever, goes to...... the shower shitter.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I obviously don't learn much from my mistakes because I tried farting again.. while bent over. An anal explosion of half digested sam adams and chipotle spattered all over the wall, faucet, and girlfriend's loofa.

 

OMFG!! I was having a shitty friday morning, I feel great now! Thank you Brian for sharing what may be the best story I have ever heard!! :funny:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...