2pointslow Posted April 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 It's not just about drinking and clubbing. I would have never gotten married that early because I wanted to focus on my education and career first. I just got married at 30 this past February. So far I feel that I've made the right choice. I can offer my wife so much more than I could have 10 years ago. I'm with you, no drinking, no smoking, no clubbing. But just because of that, don't go off getting married. I know, and thats good. I just see it as if im happy with the one im with then no amount of money can replace that feeling to me. Maybe i am just diff. than most people. Maybe she has decided that thats what she wants now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Jones Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 I am moving out next year ( getting married) and no i dont want to hear your oppinion on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2pointslow Posted April 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 So you don't think people change at all from when they're 17 to late 20's and older? I honestly think it should be against the law to get married by age 35. Why, one carries more baggage with them then! I personally could not sleep next to someone who has had sex with more guys than i have fingers! What about grand kids? If you get married at 35 you will not be able to have fun with your grand kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTQ B4U Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 I agree. 20 is pretty dang young to be considering marraige. Some may disagree, but my wife and I began dating at age 19. It was off and on for several years. I tapped about all the women I could until we finally moved in together and settled down. We married three years later. After that we each began making really good bucks, traveled, bought nice stuff, traveled some more and then popped out two kids. Looking back, we are glad we waited and took things slow. My advice, definitely do what you can to stay together, enjoy each other, etc. But realize you're a young pup with years ahead of you. It will go fast, so don't rush things. Trust me, you'll make it through this and in the end, will be fine. Just keep your head on straight and a hat on your other head. I'm no psychologist, but I think we found the problem. Of course she's unwary, she has plans to get married before she can experience going out to clubs with friends, maybe picking up random guys (just the possibility, not actually wanting to do that), going out, growing up a little, etc. If you two get married at age 20 there's a sky-high chance you'll be divorced by 30 anyways. I'm 29 and can barely fathom being locked in with someone. You two should take a break, live life while you're still young. In 9 years you'll look back and be thankful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
copperhead Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 I am really impressed i have to say with everyone on here except jones and not brian. What can i say i knew it when i signed in that you 2 would say something like that. What, just because they said something you didn't want to hear? What I can't believe is that this made it to page two, and no one said that she's found someone else. Good luck man, I'm glad its you and not me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2pointslow Posted April 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 I agree. 20 is pretty dang young to be considering marraige. Some may disagree, but my wife and I began dating at age 19. It was off and on for several years. I tapped about all the women I could until we finally moved in together and settled down. We married three years later. After that we each began making really good bucks, traveled, bought nice stuff, traveled some more and then popped out two kids. Looking back, we are glad we waited and took things slow. My advice, definitely do what you can to stay together, enjoy each other, etc. But realize you're a young pup with years ahead of you. It will go fast, so don't rush things. Trust me, you'll make it through this and in the end, will be fine. Just keep your head on straight and a hat on your other head. I think when she gets home i am going to sit her down and talk about it. I really dont want to just give up. Its not in me and its not my nature. I think im going to see if she wants to post pone the wedding, move back in with the rents and go form there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tractor Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Chicks do this stuff. They can't make up their minds several times throughout life. If you need to have her in your life make her remember she needs you. Only you will know how. Hell some family member is possibly even messing with her head. They are so easily confused and manipulated that its really kinda sad. Especially if she's also around 20. I dated my wife from the time she was 15/16. Man I'll never fight like that for anyone else again. I hated the "dating thing" and I hate it even more looking back. Evan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Jones Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 What, just because they said something you didn't want to hear? What I can't believe is that this made it to page two, and no one said that she's found someone else. Good luck man, I'm glad its you and not me. The hilarity is that a year ago he had 100 stangers try and be nice and warm him of the impending doom. He called everyone who suggest such things douchebags who do not know him or his life and to stay out of it. Now that the magically fortold situation has arisen, everyone is still douchebags! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTQ B4U Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 No one is putting you in a category, but based on your statement, is she now possibly feeling a little too restrained at such a young age? You both need to go out and enjoy the world a little. Seriously dude....get out, meet other people and really find out what you want out of a partner. Just remember if it doesn't work out, she may have been your first, but she won't be your last. I went through a similar emotional spell with a high school sweetheart. Left for college and BAM! Life began. Although I must say, I'm surprised I didn't die or have my dick fall off Life is good....and I love women Atleast the girl i proposed to wasnt. I can honestly say i have never drank and dont plan on it. Please, because of my age do not put me into that category. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2pointslow Posted April 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 What, just because they said something you didn't want to hear? What I can't believe is that this made it to page two, and no one said that she's found someone else. Good luck man, I'm glad its you and not me. I know she hasnt found someone else, and if she has he can have her. Her freinds and family have told her to not let me go because she will prob never find someone like me. ( not trying to sound errogant) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2pointslow Posted April 18, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 The hilarity is that a year ago he had 100 stangers try and be nice and warm him of the impending doom. He called everyone who suggest such things douchebags who do not know him or his life and to stay out of it. Now that the magically fortold situation has arisen, everyone is still douchebags! How about this, if it ends it wont be because of me. So telling me that im 20 and im not ready to be married is BS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Bruh Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 like they said above man, dont call her everyday. dont txt her. dont myspace msg her nothing. i didnt do that since tuesday (from sat to tues) she would msg me alot. since i returned the msgs she wont talk to me. If shes like how my fiancee turned out she likes to be treated bad. the nicer you are the more she walked over me!!! Just watch everything that goes on. Dont talk to her. Take a break, and not for like a week. minimum 1month. this is enough time for her to realize whats right. if she loves u everthing will work. if not man u have ur life. im 20 too and this is the same deal with me. if u ever wanna talk u can msg me. Everyone else. thanks for the kind words. not to thread jack but in feb we had a paternity test done. but never got the results i didnt care i was going to raise the kid (long story that happened at the hospital that led up to this) i went monday after she left and droped off the birth certificate to get the results. i get the tomarrow or saturday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TTQ B4U Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 It's after 10pm, the kids are in bed.....and we really need some pics to make an informed decision. Post 'em up! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HotCarl Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 How about this, if it ends it wont be because of me. So telling me that im 20 and im not ready to be married is BS. Listen, DONT take offense to comments like this. we're just trying to help you out (well most of us anyway). Listen to guys who have gone through similar situaiton's and every single one of them will tell you they are happy they waited. Yes the outcome may have been different in each case but everyone will agree they are glad they waited. Im dating a great girl now but im not rushing to move in with her or get married. We go great together but we both know getting serious takes time. btw, we're 23 and 24. Oh and as for the comment about sleeping next to someone who's has more partners than you can count on one hand. This is 2008, not 1950. Its close minded to think that or maybe that standard is just a bit too high. The only type of girls you will find like this are found at church and they're typically 17 years old (right up your alley ) I dont hold it against a woman if she's been with multiple guys, because I cant say that ive been with just 1 woman so who am I to put that on her when not even I can live up to it? Im not trying to be a dick, but as your grow up your going to become a little more open minded when it comes to relationships. Take your time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Bruh Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 shit its probably better if a girls been with more guys, she has a better idea of what she wants and what will make her happy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
99BlownYellowGT Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Not everyone is into that stuff. Me being one of them and i know she isnt into that stuff either. Atleast the girl i proposed to wasnt. I can honestly say i have never drank and dont plan on it. Please, because of my age do not put me into that category. My girl of 9yrs wasnt like that either until guess what?? One day she was all of a sudden like that. We went through all of our 20's not experiencing life and that ruined our relationship. She all of a sudden wanted to be a slut and a party girl. People change whether its for the good or the bad. So for god sakes you are 20 live life,have fun, and be patient. If she is having doubts there is a reason. Dont waste 9 years like i did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HotCarl Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 shit its probably better if a girls been with more guys, she has a better idea of what she wants and what will make her happy I was going to say something like this but my post was already long enough But yeah I agree, i'd rather be with a girl who's "experienced" or at the very least knows what she wants and likes than a girl who's a rookie. I fucking hate it when she doesnt know what she likes or wants or worst yet just lays there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nitrousbird Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Not everyone is into that stuff. Me being one of them and i know she isnt into that stuff either. Atleast the girl i proposed to wasnt. I can honestly say i have never drank and dont plan on it. Please, because of my age do not put me into that category. You sure sound like a load of fun. As Shawn and Brian have said, 20 is way too young. I dated a chick from HS thru college. Awesome woman, and I probably would have been semi-happy marrying her. But instead of even considering engagement, I moved on, met a lot of different people along the way, and found someone I am very excited about marrying. Quit acting like a douche, have a drink, and stop smothering the poor chick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hal Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 Very sorry to read this. You have my number if you need anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UR LOSN Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 watch Anger Management...it'll cheer you right up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linc5.0 Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 gotta say I wasted a year of my life when my ex said that she wasnt sure about things....I tried everything to keep us together and make her happy. All it did was drive her away,I was your age...After that finally let go, Life was great again....it gets better. dont dwell on one part of your life so much....experience makes you a better person.let her go, see where it leads you two, she may come back and realize things, or not....if not guess what...there are millions of others for you to meet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coltboostin Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 I know, and thats good. I just see it as if im happy with the one im with then no amount of money can replace that feeling to me. Maybe i am just diff. than most people. Maybe she has decided that thats what she wants now! No, your just young, and obviously still wet behind the ears. we are both 20 You've been engaged since you were 17/18? It rarely, if ever, lasts long when you do that. I dont know the stats, but I'd bet the break up rate around that time period is around 70ish%. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coltboostin Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 ....if not guess what...there are BILLIONS of others for you to meet. fixed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragknee66 Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 You guys are 20. Youll be sad about this forever, no doubt about that. Let me tell you something though, there are PLENTY of fish in the sea, enjoy them while your still 20!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimTaylor751647545500 Posted April 18, 2008 Report Share Posted April 18, 2008 She came to me a month ago talking about how she dosent know if her heart is still in it. She says her head is still here, she loves me, shes in love with me and she wants to get married but she says she dosent know whats going on. If she told you this a month ago, what's been going on in those 30 days? Are things getting better, worse? If she mentioned that her heart isn't in it any more, where is it now a month later? Just because she says she wants to be married doesn't mean she's ready to be married. She may just like the idea of being married (same for you). This is the point where you step back and look at your relationship and try to figure out what's best for YOU in the long term. Walking down the isle with someone that has lukewarm feelings isn't the best way to start out a marriage (trust me, I've done it). Nothing worse than having the feeling of regret while you're still putting on your tuxedo. I think everyone here is trying to give you advice from their experiences, so you should definitely read and re-read some of the posts that have been made. Talk to her, don't make assumptions that just because you've been together for 3 years and you both want to get married (or you both like the idea of being married), that it's the best thing for your relationship. Someone mentioned postponing the wedding earlier. Do it, take all the time you both need to re-evaluate who you are together and if you both are on the same page. Don't do it just because you've mailed out invitations and some people have made hotel reservations. All of those people would rather make new arrangements rather than hear about a break up 2 months after you get married. Just some stuff to think about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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