sale of the day on CL

[AJ]

made me lol

 

http://macon.craigslist.org/bik/1239260482.html

 

Great Honda Manly Man Bike - $150 (Warner Robins)

 

Reply to: sale-beqkk-1239260482@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

Date: 2009-06-25, 1:40PM EDT

 

 

 

What kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. I was told it's a mountain bike and I ride it so it's a Stud Mountain Bike. 24" Rims Son! The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're waaaaay wrong. I practiced ninja training at Japan's Mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not havingg a rear reflector is like saying "F*#K YOU CAR! JUST TRY AND FIND ME".

 

The bike says Honda on the side but it should say GIANT because then it would be referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement would remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was some sissy sh!t so I said "No way" and I rolled out with his bike after jacking him for his Social Security Check!

 

The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably ride your bike underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating. Plus, you probably care what other people think about you like most of the posers that go to the Strip on the weekends wearing tight pants, shiny shirts and wear sunglasses indoors.

 

The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your ass or anything.

 

I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike/tank.

The bike has 7 speeds in total:

Gear 1 - Sissy Gear

Gear 2 - Less Sissy Gear

Gear 3 - Least Sissy Gear

Gear 4 - Boy Gear

Gear 5 - Pre-teen Boy Gear

Gear 6 - Manly Gear

Gear 7 - Big Gangsta Ass Muscles Gear

 

I only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.

 

Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't fuck around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey asshole, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four like a baby seal sunbathing on an Alaskan beach".

 

WR Metro cops have chased me on this bike 26 times for breaking the speed limit but I have always managed to elude them based on my extreme physicality and my superior knowledge of our valley's ever changing roadways. I can't guarantee this bike will do that for you but if your as proficient in ninja, gangsta-dom as me, then you may have a strong chance at replicating my impetuous feats.

 

Bike is for $150.00 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices)

 

 

• Location: Warner Robins
  
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  

http://images.craigslist.org/3n33p83odZZZZZZZZZ96p9d5ae0abe4591aac.jpg

PostingID: 1239260482

[John Bruh]

fuck falling off the mother fucker!

 

 

lol add is great though.

[Fubar231]

That was awesome lol