CobraKevin Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 Disclaimer: My only real exposure to GI-Joe is the numerous re-dubbed safety messages that grace the internet, so my opinion emerges from a somewhat unenlightened knowledge base. Summary: A radical new technology has been created by a company known as M.A.R.S. (Military Armament Research Systems) that utilizes nanomites that have been used to seek and destroy cancer cells, but have been altered to devour various forms of metal. A military convoy was left with the responsibility of transporting the cargo containing this technology, but was ambushed by an unknown organization with highly-advanced weaponry attempting to steal the cargo. A special forces unit known as GI-Joe arrived to protect the shipment and rescued the two surviving members of the military convoy, Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans). Now on board, the two soldiers become members of the elite squad, and are trained and prepped for the ensuing "war" against the opposing organization, which later becomes known as Cobra Command. Pros: Some of the best special effects I've seen since...well...since I've been away from the site. The action-packed scenes are endless, continuing one after another like the shots of pure energy from the ridiculously-advanced weapons in the film. Sienna Miller (Anna/Baroness) and Rachel Nichols (Scarlett) provide some rather tasty eye candy, and Marlon Wayans actually has NON-corny comic relief. Oh, and Darth Maul plays Snake Eyes. Cons: Probably a solid 80% of anything seen in the film borders between "Damn, that was awesome" and "Well, that was fake as all hell", and the odd romance they attempt to weave between Duke and Anna, despite having a place in the film, seems rather mediocre. Conclusion: 4.0/5.0. Definitely worth seeing in the theatre in my opinion. I didn't give it a 5 because I'm sure some GI-Joe nuts can pick out multiple things about it that didn't match the 80's cartoon and what not, but the fact remains that it's almost 2 full hours of pure, non-stop entertainment. -Kevin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JaSSon Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 You've lost your touch Kev. I just got back from seeing it, and honestly I'd give it a solid 1.5 stars out of 5. Summary: Kevin's summary is pretty accurate and sums it up well with out giving away any...spoilers. Pros: the girls in the movie are very nice to look at. Snake eyes was a bad ass. Cons: EVERYTHING ELSE. This movie was 70% poorly done CGI, 20% bad acting, 10% bad story line. And I mean it, the CGI is really bad. It matches the acting. Goes way beyond cheesy 1 liners. I won't go into details, but there are several scenes where i found myself pulled out of the movie and saying "That looked horrible." or "They couldn't have done another take?" or "wtf?" Conclusion: For the love of God, don't see this movie. Vote with your wallet and PASS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobby Lee Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 I'd have to agree with the above reviews. Did anyone else see a lot of similarities to Star Wars? Like Snake Eyes sword fight with his brother (Jedis vs. Vader) and the underwater base attack (Death Star). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShankroidBeast Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 I saw an HD trailer for it, and the CGI in that looked pretty lame (for today's standards) and that was the trailer, should have been some of the best stuff from the movie. CGI when done correctly, it is so good you aren't "aware" of it as you are into the story line and the action of the movie. It's like watching a bad actor, every second they are on screen you are "aware" that they are acting...ie Paris Hilton. Now The Transformers 2 had some good CGI ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CobraKevin Posted August 10, 2009 Author Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 To each their own I suppose. I went there with the impression I was going to see GI-Joe, not Julia and Julia, so I had no geniune concern for the acting ability of the cast. Maybe I do have poor judgement on the quality of CGI (honestly I can't really tell what's good-looking fake shit and bad-looking fake shit), but the Eiffel Tower destruction looked real to me (though it was in my opinion almost a blatant rip-off of The Day the Earth Stood Still)and the scene with the accelerator suits was fun as hell to watch. I would compare the special effects to Transformers and Star Wars. Movies that are generated from old cartoons or video games rarely turn out well. I think Transformers was the exception, so I somehow get the feeling that some people raise their expectations since Transformers did well (even though Transformers 2 was trashed by critics comparatively to the first). I bought my ticket hoping to see a lot of explosions and with the hope that I'd walk out of the theater thinking "Damn that was fun". Movies are entertainment, afterall, and I was entertained. For 2 hours straight. -Kevin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SinisterSS Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 I will wait and buy the dvd used from buy backs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sol740 Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 STOP EAR-RAPING MY CHILDHOOD HOLLYWOOD !!! Wait ... theres a Voltron movie, and a Thundercats movies in the works ??? Excuse me while I paint my cubicle chunky, skull-bits red. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jizzle Juice Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 i see all my movies for free just wanted to put that out there. But i liked it and scarlett was sexy!!!!! snake eyes was bad ass for sure! there will be a part 2 you can tell. well if it does well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigbird Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 It opened at number 1 so you can probably count on a sequel. I was really disappointed. I thought the movie started out sweet as hell and just got weaker and weaker. The whole underwater scene was garbage. The hands down best part of the movie was the paris scene, that kicked some hardcore ass...if only the rest of the movie had been as good. Oh and yeah, Scarlett was looking good, but the other girl needed a Big Mac or 5. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rustlestiltskin Posted August 10, 2009 Report Share Posted August 10, 2009 Just went and saw this and it had to be one of the most cheesiest movies I've seen in a lonnnnnnnng time. Falls right up there with starship trooper movies and Timeline with paul walker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigbird Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 Just went and saw this and it had to be one of the most cheesiest movies I've seen in a lonnnnnnnng time. Falls right up there with starship trooper movies and Timeline with paul walker. You know...except for the fact that Starship Troopers was SUPPOSED to be like that...you're 100% right... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kurt B. Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 It rocked, for what it is. It could have been much worse, IMO not a bad way to spend a few buck at the movies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 hey i went and watched some old joe cartoons and they sucked, the dialogue was horrible, and the animation was really old looking and bad i liked the cartoon when i was little and i liked the movie because they weren't different from each other. Hey guys the time travelers girlfriend comes out this weekend it should have a good storyline and be very realistic Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unfunnyryan Posted August 11, 2009 Report Share Posted August 11, 2009 I don't watch movies with more than 20% CGI anymore because they all blow. I knew this one would be a definite NO for me, and I'm glad to see others agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mensan Posted August 12, 2009 Report Share Posted August 12, 2009 Starship Troopers was amazing. If you don't get it, try and be smarter. Oh, and read the book too. It gives you a feel for the propaganda in the movie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigbird Posted August 13, 2009 Report Share Posted August 13, 2009 Starship Troopers was amazing. If you don't get it, try and be smarter. Oh, and read the book too. It gives you a feel for the propaganda in the movie. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rustlestiltskin Posted August 13, 2009 Report Share Posted August 13, 2009 You know...except for the fact that Starship Troopers was SUPPOSED to be like that...you're 100% right... Starship Troopers was amazing. If you don't get it, try and be smarter. Oh, and read the book too. It gives you a feel for the propaganda in the movie. Thank you. I KNOW starship troopers was supposed to be like that. It was still corny just like G.I. joe although G.I. joe wasn't trying to be. Yet, I liked starship troopers better Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigbird Posted August 13, 2009 Report Share Posted August 13, 2009 GOOD! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GonneVille Posted August 13, 2009 Report Share Posted August 13, 2009 (edited) Starship Troopers was amazing. If you don't get it, try and be smarter. Oh, and read the book too. It gives you a feel for the propaganda in the movie. I just face-palmed myself so hard I've got a nosebleed. How can you READ that book and think that the movie was anything other than pure garbage? Unless...oh God, they didn't re-edit the book to match the movie, did they? As for G.I.Joe...it stars Marlon Wayans. Instant epic fail. Edited August 13, 2009 by GonneVille Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OGRE Posted August 13, 2009 Report Share Posted August 13, 2009 Jason is being harsh, the CGI was pretty sucky, the acting is horrible, and there is alot of cheese. with that being said if you check your brain at the door and realize this is a live action cartoon with fighting people getting thier heads blown off and cleavage, it will be a enjoyable time . . . minus the bad CGI. lolryan, If you want to know what good CGI is, watch transformers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avenger1647545502 Posted August 13, 2009 Report Share Posted August 13, 2009 STOP EAR-RAPING MY CHILDHOOD HOLLYWOOD !!! Veracity, yo! Um..... Yeah, I hated it. I don't mind escapist, but at least it should make sense..... http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/08/robs_gi_joe_rise_of_cobra_faq.php Their Transformers 2 review is even better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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