Need a car for your teenager?

[Buck531]

http://semo.craigslist.org/cto/1672654758.html

 

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2002 Focus – good reliable first car - $2000 (Cape Girardeau)

 

Date: 2010-04-01, 10:33PM CDT

Reply to: sale-fm8x7-1672654758@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

 

Looking for a first car for a teen? This car is absolutely brilliant. It’s got low mileage (68k), has been super reliable, and is excellent on gas. Since you’re likely paying for the gas, this will make things much cheaper on you. I average like 37MPG to a tank. And with such low mileage, it’ll work great for a long long time.

 

But you wanna know the best reason to buy this car for your kid?

 

It’s slow as shit. You don’t have to worry about speeding tickets or accidents in this baby. Your kid could have a 1 mile run and hit a brick wall not wearing a seatbelt and not be going fast enough to do shit. And there won’t be any sense in him getting some shitty ass fart can off of eBay – this car has the super slow SPI engine, no sense in trying to make it any faster. It’s a 4-door, so your kid won’t try to put gay ass Lambo doors on it. It is still possible to fit this with a body kit, but if you’d like, for an extra $200, I can stab him in the face if he does this.

 

It’s a 5-speed, so your kid can’t talk on his cell phone while playing Gameboy and smoking pot – he’ll have to actually pay attention. It also means you won’t have to pay for an automatic transmission when your kid beats the hell out of it. It’s got a new clutch and new tires, so you’ll know if he does burnouts. After all, I’m sure YOU’RE the one paying for tires, right? It’s got an aftermarket head unit in it, so your kid won’t fuck it up when him and his buddies try to wire in a “phat ass system”. It’s already had the speakers replaced too, so he won’t have to tear the door cards on and then look like a retard when he can’t get them back on. It’s got manual windows too, so he can’t fuck up the window motors when he rolls one of his friends heads up in it as a joke. A new battery means when he leaves his headlights on, it won’t leave you totally stranded.

 

But really though, one of the best parts is that, because it is a 4 door, it will be somewhat embarrassing for him to be seen in. I’m sure you get pissed at him from time to time. Hell, you’re probably mad at him for harassing you into buying him a first car. So get this one. It has no A/C, so you’ll know he’s suffering every time you get mad at him. Pretty satisfying. It’ll bring a smile to your face too, to know he’s rolling around looking like a faggot in a Ford Focus.

 

So buy this car for your kid. You won’t regret it

 

 

Contact: 573-334-4363

 

 

• Location: Cape Girardeau
  
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[AWW$HEEET]

get something 5 cylinder turbo with good gas mileage. but to ensure the best gas mileage, I would post in the tech section.

[jerrodh]

Full of win.

[jeffro]

that. is. awesome.!

[31rx7]

Excellent. I will nominate it for Best of Craigslist.

 

Saturn SL1 sedans are also good for teens, particularly the ugly duckling original body (1991 - 1995).

[Nitrousbird]

What I read there were some excellent sales points.

[Crossle]

That is fantastic, lot of truth in that listing.

[ImUrOBGYN]

Hilarious. Read this last night on Jalopnik.

[Radio Flyer1647545514]

"It’s a 5-speed, so your kid can’t talk on his cell phone while playing Gameboy and smoking pot."

 

Awesome quote. If I ever sell cars I will use this as a selling point.

[darksrt4]

"for an extra $200 i will stab him in the face when we does" that is classic!

[Dave1647545494]

thats awesome

[Guest Removed]

good shit right there.

[unfunnyryan]

Holy shit that thing is sweet. I bet I could put a mad exhaust on that and do BYRUNOUTZ all day long. Probably smoke some of the C6's on here.

 

Now to get dad to buy it for me..

[jerrodh]

Excellent. I will nominate it for Best of Craigslist.

 

Saturn SL1 sedans are also good for teens, particularly the ugly duckling original body (1991 - 1995).

 

Through in the SW1 for added embarrasment.

[Habitual Sinner]

Epic. I had to print it out. It almost deserves a frame.

[Patterson]

Dude is full of win. As I have witnessed here recently kids are dumb asses.

[6 Speed S4]

haha that is badass. Full of win!

[2 Sweet]

Awesome

[Xyster101]

So true!

[FourString]

Definite win.

[Rally Pat]

I shed a tear over the amount of awesome in that post.