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Note to self...


HotCarl

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When buying your girlfriend a kinky bed restraint system to use on her... make sure you specify that it is not a gift and when you breakup you get to keep it. Chalk that up as an $80 loss but the real kick in the pants is she gets to use this damn thing on the next guy she fucks....

 

 

fml

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a) lol @ you being upset over $80

 

b) who uses sex toys from one girl to the next...id be happy to give away all that shit and start fresh with the next one. if some chick was like "oh, i happened to keep this cock ring when me and my ex broke up, try it on", i would think there was seriously something fucked up in her head.

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if some chick was like "oh, i happened to keep this cock ring when me and my ex broke up, try it on", i would think there was seriously something fucked up in her head.

 

Admit it, you'd be embarrassed if the ring just fell off because it was too big. :D

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a) lol @ you being upset over $80

 

b) who uses sex toys from one girl to the next...id be happy to give away all that shit and start fresh with the next one. if some chick was like "oh, i happened to keep this cock ring when me and my ex broke up, try it on", i would think there was seriously something fucked up in her head.

 

a) im a cheap bastard but if you add up all the gifts and shit i bought over 2 years, your right $80 isnt that much.

 

b)Im also a dirty bastard therefore my sex toys are unilateral in who they are used on. I mean they're straps its not like they get inserted anywhere. I would just use cuffs but my new head board doesnt have any holes or slots to secure them around so i had to go with the straps... you understand my dilema.

 

bb) sorry didnt see the cock ring comment. I once fucked a chick after she called me by another man's name... MULTIPLE TIMES! Then asked where i parked my truck, BITCH I DONT DRIVE A TRUCK! I have no shame.

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b)Im also a dirty bastard therefore my sex toys are unilateral in who they are used on. I mean they're straps its not like they get inserted anywhere. I would just use cuffs but my new head board doesnt have any holes or slots to secure them around so i had to go with the straps... you understand my dilema.

 

Ryan, you've now crossed that line of Too Much Info. The above is only appropriately shared if you have a vagina....naturally.

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so you had something like this?

http://www.northeastrestraints.com/images/products/large_70_NER-0386_1wtmk.jpg

 

time to upgrade..

 

http://www.dappercadaver.com/product_images/z/528/asylum_restraint_bed_34_$3000__66875_zoom.jpg

 

chains are always better.

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I see where Ryan is coming from.... it's not really the 80 dollars as just the nature of the whole thing... But I'll also be honest, if a woman pulled out something like that and her and I didn't buy it together, I would be kinda grossed out cause you have no idea wtf is on them.. or you have a really good idea what's on them which is even worse!
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When buying your girlfriend a kinky bed restraint system to use on her... make sure you specify that it is not a gift and when you breakup you get to keep it. Chalk that up as an $80 loss but the real kick in the pants is she gets to use this damn thing on the next guy she fucks....

 

 

fml

 

I still laugh about the "fuck my fat ass" story. :lol:

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I still laugh about the "fuck my fat ass" story. :lol:

 

bwhahahahaha, i almost forgot about that. Every now and then my buddy will txt me "fuck my fat ass".

 

Story goes, i was working at Columbus Gold when we had this feature in town, Nikki Sexx (google her). Now usually feature dancers are off limits, either because they think that b/c they get paid to fuck and wont do it for free or b/c they just think they're shits off limits to a regular man but for some reason i thought i had a shot so i talked to her, spit a little game and at the end of the night she gives me her room key. I got there at 3am and didnt leave until 1pm the next day quite literally fucking for hours on end and NOTHING was off limits.

 

At one point i had her fat ass bent over the bed really going to town and she screams "OH MY GOD FUCK MY FAT ASS!".... it was hard to contain my laughter i almost lost my rythme and had to stop. I went through a box of condoms that night, best $12 investment of my life.

 

Mind you all of this was a few years ago, way before i met my gf... well my now current ex-gf. i may be a pig but i never cheated.

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Kinda like when I pull out my half-empty bottle of strawberry lube when a new girl comes over..

 

Just tell her it was delicious and you couldn't resist...or it was nasty and you were trying to acquire a taste for it. That way it looks like you suffered for her. :D

 

...best $12 gonorrhea of my life.

 

Enjoy. :p

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