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Rough day

wnaplay1647545503

By wnaplay1647545503,
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Skinner Newbie

Skinner

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Spent the day at james cancer hospital. Wife had surgery and afterwards was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. I had to be the one to tell her when she woke. Its been a rough day for our 3 kids and our families. Luckily she is being strong about it this far. We will see how she feels when the drugs start to wear off. I hope you guys know how much I appreciate the support and prayers that have come our way while dealing with this.

 

My mom had stage 3 ovarian cancer as well.Not gonna lie it was hard but see sick at times but she fought it to the end. Dr. gave her 6 months to a year and she survived 18 years before she lost the battle. Stay strong and think positive and hope for the best.

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acklac7 Newbie

acklac7

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Its been difficult to try and explain to people what is going on. She kind of left everyone in the dark about what was possibly happening and I wasn't as prepared for this to be what it is prior to surgery. I am trying to play catch up.

 

The Dr's at the James, while extremely busy, are awesome. Sort of a late response, but before you meet/talk with them write down all of your concerns/questions. In my case they answered ALL of them without the slightest bit of hesitation. Again TAKE THROUGH NOTES: you're going to get a fuck-ton of information thrown at you, so much so that you undoubtably wont be able to process/remember it all. Through notes were the only way I was able to accurately communicate my Fathers condition/outcome to the rest of the family.

 

I am trying to play catch up and its very scary to hear some of the possible scenarios she has already come to grips with.

 

Cancer is a bastard, as I said before Doctors will often assume the worst. Again, I can't tell you how many times my Dad's condition potentially "made a turn for the worse", but after some follow up tests (months down the road) turned out to be nothing. As you said, very scary. You have to remain positive through it all, moreover you have to motivate your entire family to remain strong and positive. Everyone has to be on board for the fight, including your Wife. Be with her at every meeting, be with her for all the chemo, constantly assure her that you're going to fight "the bastard" off at all costs. Being strong for her is about as important as chemo/radiation, I kid you not.

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acklac7 Newbie

acklac7

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And another thing: while talking to the Doctors yourself ask them if you should relay the info you received back to your wife. In my case the main Dr.in charge would explicitly state "don't relay this to your father as I want him to remain as positive as possible". Not placing blame here, but it sounds like maybe your wife got the full picture, while others (including yourself) were left in the dark? If so contact all of the Doctors (there should be 3 or so) and let them know you are "taking charge" of her treatment, and would like to speak with them on an individual basis. When you speak with them tell them you would like to be the one to receive the "full picture" in order to keep your wife as positive/optimistic as possible.

 

I will forewarn you, getting the full picture, then often times having to withhold it (from your wife) is extremely difficult. Again, remain as positive as you can with her, despite any negative information you may have received. As I said before, positive energy is about as important as chemo/radiation.

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El Karacho1647545492 Newbie

El Karacho1647545492

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This is awful to hear, I don't know anyone who has not been affected by cancer in some way. The one thing that everyone has said was the most important thing they had during treatment was the community help they got.

 

With that in mind, and with the holidays rapidly approaching, is there ANYTHING that we can do to make things more pleasant for you and your family, especially your kids? I know how hard it was to hear my mom had breast cancer. If it's just money to help out with the holidays, don't be afraid to say so. CR pulled together for a guy whose stuff got stolen, we can come together to help you through this. Big or small, please let us know whatever could put a smile on someone's face.

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BrianZ06 Newbie

BrianZ06

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I unfortunately know first hand how hard it is to hear the word cancer. My wife is a survivor she was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer 15 years ago. My dad and mother in law were also affected. To say this is hard to deal with is a real understatement. Be strong and think positive thoughts. Here to help if needed.
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