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WWCRD: Family Fraud Edition


Geeesammy

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So here we go with another WWCRD thread.

 

So my sister has a 6 month old boy, it was a boo boo, she is 20, and the baby's father is 32-ish and a convicted felon. Not sure what she saw in him, but clearly she likes the winners. I am about 99.9999% sure her and her "fiance"/babydaddy/boyfriend are cheating all sorts of government stuff. She has been visiting with my mom the last few days and I have listened in on some conversations that gave some pretty good insights onto exactly what she is doing. She doesn't work, he does but for his brother and is paid under the table, they apply for all sorts of aide (Food stamps, medical, housing?) and claim he makes nothing and that she doesn't work. They use a fake address for an apartment that really doesnt exist within a building, and get extra money for that (I am guessing) and claim that someone they know pays their rent. Today I went to my mom's to grab some things and see my nephew and heard a conversation with her and the baby's dad about "who wants how much in food stamps and how much money they are giving us in exchange" and that basically pushed me over the edge.

 

I know that their are programs in place to prevent this shit, but obviously it isn't working. I don't want to fuck them over since they have a young child, and he obviously needs a house, and proper upbringing, etc. But at the same time other shit has happened that prompts me to believe he will be subjected to abuse in the future. She seems like she doesn't give two shits about the kid 95% of the time. And the 5% of the time it seems she does is when family is around so she can impress them.

 

Basically is there anything that can be done? I mean I know I could call this in and maybe something would happen, but what is holding me back is the kid. I love the little guy to death and for the conditions he is in he's the happiest little guy I've seen. His face lights up when you talk to him and interact with him and I feel like he is getting next to no attention at home. They (Baby daddy, sister, his mom and step dad) all smoke inside the house with him in it. I feel like shit for not doing something, but what can be done?

 

 

 

Guess I am just pissed off and feel like I am wrong no matter what path I take. Is my judgement clouded here for my dislike of my sister, or do I really have something to be pissed/worried about? He is 6 months old and is unable to sit up on his own, and seems to have no idea how to even try and crawl. He's in the bottom 25% of height/ weight and is VERY small for being 6 months old. I know that is still very young, but I feel like undernourishment and neglect here is a very real possibility. She tried feeding him a forkload of chocolate cake last night and fortunately I caught her before she did. He has an older daughter that he lost custody of to her mother.

 

Sorry if this doesnt make too much sense right now. Just irritated and extremely pissed off, can't really get my thoughts straightened out enough to put into words. But this has really struck a nerve with me that I can't hit my fuck it button with.

 

TL;DR- Sister is obviously abusing government assistance and is treating her child like shit. What do?

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Serious question.

 

What is best for the 6 month old? He's happy now. How about in 10 years?

 

That's what would drive my decision.

 

PS, I asked an expert in this type of stuff.

 

Their answer was, "Nothing can be done. It sucks, but that's the reality."

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Serious question.

 

What is best for the 6 month old? He's happy now. How about in 10 years?

 

That's what would drive my decision.

 

That is what is driving me nuts. He doesn't need to go down the same path as them. Both have history's of drug use. He is a felon for multiple convictions of possession of a schedule 1 drug IIRC. I would call CPS but I want to be involved in his life and watch him grow up. 10 years from now I don't want to imagine what will be going on with them. I mean I guess there is a chance CPS could come in and take him, but they would need solid proof, which I do not specifically have. Just stuff I've heard her say I'm assuming to be true. She seems like she is high all the time, or at least acts like it.

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hard to do, but take the family emotion 100% out of it and treat this matter as if you're simply saving a child you don't know. call CPS, outline without emotion what you see happening and ask them what is the best course of action for the child.

 

I have very little faith in public services like this given some things I went through with my father and elder abuse but I hope CPS is different.

 

Regardless of what happens you will have done the best you could to make a difference.

 

Wish I had more. Hurts to think about going through such a thing. People suck, sometimes family more so.

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Is baby daddy a parolee or has he completely served his time and is considered a free man? If he's on parole and doing drugs, call his PO and get him popped and back in prison. You can try to be involved as possible in the upbringing of the kid.

 

Sadly, as someone else said, you can't just take kids away because people are monumentally stupid and irresponsible. You need a pattern of stupidity and irresponsibility that you can prove.

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If you somehow find a way to get the kid taken away from her, are you ready to step up and adopt the 6 moth old?

 

Was going to ask the same question, are you in a position to take custody of the child? If you are and decide to get CPS involved, at least if they take him you have a chance to get him. This way you get to spend the time with him and watch him grow, and more importantly, you can make sure he is raised properly with proper morals and such.

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fyi...Franklin County Children Services is a joke imo. Don't get me wrong, you should still call and file a formal complaint, however they aren't going to do anything quickly. Their goal/mission is to keep families together no matter what. The more calls to them the better you are. Sucks all the way around, especially for the baby and people that actually care about it. Good luck...

 

Tom

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Pics of said sister? You know incase some one sees her smoking in public adn they tell her to stop for her childs sake.

 

Anonymous calls to CPS wont do much unless its often and consistant with the same thing. They will come out though. And after they come out if they keep getting calls at this point they will come out often. Keep being persistent ( this info coming from our best friends that are foster parents)

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Your sister got any formula coupons? This shit is starting to get expensive lol

O/T Tell me about it. My 5 month old has a milk allergy and has to drink "Pure Amino." One can lasts ~3 days. Costing us about 450/month right now. Bye bye car fund.

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O/T Tell me about it. My 5 month old has a milk allergy and has to drink "Pure Amino." One can lasts ~3 days. Costing us about 450/month right now. Bye bye car fund.

 

Ouch! That is brutal.

 

Our girl will be 6 months in a couple weeks and between starting her on rice cereal and bottles we are going through those tubs of formula so fast.

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Proof and someone actually willing to fight for custody can often be the 2 most important things. No matter what you do you should atleast start documenting things. That way even if he gets popped my his po or they have a bad traffic stop or get caught doing something their is something else to help build a case against removing the children. As for food stamps, soo many of those things get sold it's crazy, at one point the going rate in columbus was like 8/1. I'd assume something could be done to get their housing assistance pulled which probably isn't a bad idea. As for the kids weight you want to make sure they are atleast following a relitive %. If that baby was in the 50% and is now in the 25% then it's a problem. It's such a shame that so many have horror stories when their are so many families that would love to be able to adopt a baby under 1 yr old.
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If you somehow find a way to get the kid taken away from her, are you ready to step up and adopt the 6 moth old?

 

I have thought a lot about this for most of the night. While I don't really want kids, especially at this point in my life, this is a different circumstance and a big decision.

 

fyi...Franklin County Children Services is a joke imo. Don't get me wrong, you should still call and file a formal complaint, however they aren't going to do anything quickly. Their goal/mission is to keep families together no matter what. The more calls to them the better you are. Sucks all the way around, especially for the baby and people that actually care about it. Good luck...

 

Tom

 

She does not live in Columbus, she lives in Dayton.

 

Sounds like a tough situation. Do you think discussing it with your mother would help or hurt matters?

 

She basically just says "well I know it is all wrong, but I don't want to say anything because I'm scared of her and really scared of her when she yells at me"

 

Not joking.

 

Pics of said sister? You know incase some one sees her smoking in public adn they tell her to stop for her childs sake.

 

Anonymous calls to CPS wont do much unless its often and consistant with the same thing. They will come out though. And after they come out if they keep getting calls at this point they will come out often. Keep being persistent ( this info coming from our best friends that are foster parents)

 

 

 

 

 

Still kind of at a loss for words. Was around her again tonight and this shit is way worse than I thought. 95% sure I heard her snorting a "substance" of some sort in another room while she was holding the kid in her arms. Walked back outta that room sniffling and coughing. I wonder what that could be....

Edited by Geeesammy
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