Zorro Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/765370039.htmlBike for saleWhat kind of bike? I don't know, I'm not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you're way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan's mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying "FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME".The bike says Giant on the side because it's referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way.The bike has some rusted screws, but that just shows how much of a bad ass you are. Everyone knows rusted screws on a bike means that you probably drove it underwater and that's bad ass in itself. Those screws can be replaced with shiny new ones, but if you're going to go to that trouble why not just punch yourself in the balls since you're probably a dickless lizard who doesn't like to look intimidating.The bike is for men because the seat is flat or some shit and not shaped like a dildo. If you like flat seated bikes you're going to love this thing because it doesn't try to penetrate your ass or anything.I've topped out at 75 miles per hour on this uphill but if you're just a regular man you'll probably top it out at 10 miles per hour. This thing is listed as a street bike which is man-code for bike tank. The bike has 7 speeds in total:Gear 1 - Sissy GearGear 2 - Less Sissy GearGear 3 - Least Sissy GearGear 4 - Boy GearGear 5 - Pre-teen Boy GearGear 6 - Manly GearGear 7 - Big Muscles GearI only like gear 6 and 7 to be honest.Additionally, this tool of all immense men comes with a gigantic lock to keep it secure. The lock is the size of a bull's testicles and tells people you don't fuck around with locking up your bike tank. It tells would-be-thieves "Hey asshole, touch this bike and I'll appear from the bushes ready to club you with a two-by-four".Bike is for 150 OBO (and don't give me no panzy prices) * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomcat0403 Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 nice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V4junkie Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 Haha, not as good as the classic eBay postie scooter add, but still worth a lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2wheels>4 Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 ROFLage!! Now THAT's salesmanship!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Likwid Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 lol, this is awesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KZ900 Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 (edited) ... Edited November 13, 2012 by KZ900 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V4junkie Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 ^^^ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Casper Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fonzie Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikerBoy Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 nice shit.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
V4junkie Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 This one is my favorite ad ever. (Ebay one is removed but this page quotes the whole thing)http://www.themotorreport.com.au/24657/truly-awesome/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldschoolsdime92 Posted July 8, 2009 Report Share Posted July 8, 2009 priceless! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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