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How do these people survive?


chevysoldier

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Don't know if these are true, but they are totally plausible.

How do these people survive?

ONE

Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.

I asked for a half dozen nuggets.

'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.

'You don't?' I replied.

'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.

'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'

'That's right.'

So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets

(Unbelievable but sadly true...)

TWO

I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.

After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.

Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'

I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'

She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.

She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.

When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'

(keep shuddering!!)

FOUR

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked.

She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'

'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.

'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'

PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!

FIVE

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies.

Brunette, by the way!!

SIX

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer.......'

Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'

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lol, I've heard a few of those, they're awesome...

#4... no joke, my VW doesn't have exposed keyholes. If your battery dies you have to take your key and pop off a piece of molding that exposes the keyhole so you can get in...

If you check the Tiguan forums that's a weekly question from newbs.... "how the hell do I get in if the remote lock doesn't work"

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lol, I've heard a few of those, they're awesome...

#4... no joke, my VW doesn't have exposed keyholes. If your battery dies you have to take your key and pop off a piece of molding that exposes the keyhole so you can get in...

If you check the Tiguan forums that's a weekly question from newbs.... "how the hell do I get in if the remote lock doesn't work"

No kidding, I had no idea. HAHA

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Totally plausible.

As you get a little older, you'll run into plenty of people like this.

I probably come across two or three of them every week.

lol, you old fart...

although I do find it frustrating whenever the cashier tells me my total is 5.40 and I hand her $11 only to have her hand me back 5 $1s *sigh*

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lol, you old fart...

although I do find it frustrating whenever the cashier tells me my total is 5.40 and I hand her $11 only to have her hand me back 5 $1s *sigh*

I like when it's $5.40 and I hand them a 10 dollar bill and 40 cents and they go :wtf::confused:

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True Story....

I stopped at fast food establishment in Alabama early one morning about ten or 15 years ago. The food totaled $8.40. All I had in my wallet was a couple of $100.00 bills. I handed one to the cashier (all of 16 years old) who handed me the food and said "Imma haf ta git th' manager".

Enter the manager (all of 17 years old) who took the $100 bill from the cashier, opened the drawer and handed me 4 $20's and 2 $10's and said "y'all have a nice day".

I left.

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That's the best time to do it. Guaranteed satisfaction.

for a while when they created the iPhone app where you could put all your little keychain club cards in the application and then not have to carry them on your keychain...

Before the companies said not to take them cashiers were freaking out... you'd hand them a phone with a UPC on it and they'd go apeshit bananas because "THIS R NOTZ A LAMINATED UPC NOONE TRANED ME ON THESE!"

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Brilliant. I would have done the same thing.

Gave me 4 $20's and 2 $10's???

Oh just think what would have happened if you tried to fix their issue... they'd have to call the owner to figure out what to do.

Not much chance of that.

And it would have been Todd's fault.

Its ALWAYS my fault. Didn't you know that already?

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had one a couple years back..... at McDonalds, which should be no suprise. When I handed her the money her cash register freaked out on her. bill was 3.87 and I had handed her 4 bucks...... didn't have a clue how much to give me back. I had to tell her for gods sake...................

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although I do find it frustrating whenever the cashier tells me my total is 5.40 and I hand her $11 only to have her hand me back 5 $1s *sigh*

I like when it's $5.40 and I hand them a 10 dollar bill and 40 cents and they go :wtf::confused:
lol, or heaven forbid you hand them 40 cents after they hit the picture of the $10 bill....

OMG I CAN HAZ A CALCLATER?

You foos still use cash? Dag dawg!! Thats so 90's!

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#1 - False. Try finding someone that can habla ingles at a McDonalds.

#2 - Completely believable. Wal-Mart employee's I.Q. typically = 2 above plant life

#3 - False - what are these "floppy drives" of which you speak?

#4 - Completely believable.

#5 - Was the intern female, cute and at least 17? Hired!

#6 - Jeez.

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When i worked at the computer store in college I had a girl come in that broke her "cup holder" on her computer ------- Uhm... Thats the CDROM tray hunny.

Had another girl call in and tell me her modem was broken. After talking to her for awhile and her insisting that her computer was fine and sitting on her desk, I finally figured out that her "Modem" was actually the PC itself and she was referring to her "computer" as the monitor sitting on her desk---------Uh,, yeah, we can fix that but we cant fix stupid

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OK, I'll bite.

I was working as tech support during the blackout ~a decade ago. Yes.... I got a call that all the computers were off at the site and they couldn't get them back on.

My computers won't turn on

"Sir... is the power out?"

Yes

"And you can't turn on your computer"

Yes

"*long pause* the POWER ... is out"

Yes

"And you can't POWER on your computer"

Ohhhh, hahaha I see what's happening... ok how do I fix it

"*sigh* You'll have to wait for the power to come back on... if your computer won't turn on when you have power back please give us a call then"

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We need to let the weak die off...Survival of the fittest

The weak are here so the strong have something to throw to the wolves when threatened.

These are the dumb people that will never make anything of their lives anyways :D

But some how, these people always seem to be more edumacated, and have a better salary?!?!?!

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