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I guess it's time to introduce myself...


sonavabeech

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I'm suppose to tell about me and whats going on in my life. Well, here you go. Im currently residing in a halfway house. Its not as glamorus as it may seem , I'm bunking up with John Voight and a guy who swears he's Ms.Cleo, yes, advisor to the stars, this guy is crazy as a box of shit but he can make mac and cheese so good it will make a fat baby fart. I've kinda been forced into moving here just coming back from my second tour in nam. I was a POW. I was held against my will for two years in a rice pattie. Those little yellow bastards really did a number on me. I lost my left leg, three fingers on my left hand and my right arm below my elbow. You try opening a can drink without hating on an asian. There are also mental scars as well. I cant stand being around loud noises or anyone that looks like William Hung without pissing myself. Don't get much sleep either, I'm having the same reoccuring dream of a shark eating Samuel Jackson, the damn shark ate him. But I cant put all the blame on them after I was released. I didnt sleep for 3 days because I went on a pcp binge with two Korean midgets which landed me in jail for two months. Even though it doesnt sound like anything I would do, the cops said something about a rude sexual act that involved a goat and a one eyed hooker. Since I've been back I haven't really tried to give up any of my addictions. Shooting up heroin is a daily thing and I love chilling with Lamont and One Eye Willy behind the bus station. They always have the coldest Wild Irish Rose in town. It's like Frosty the snowman is blowing sweet kisses down my throat. I'm trying to hold down a steady job but Wal-mart isn't really paying what I want and I hate sitting on the that little soap box they have for me. I feel like I'm a side show act. Plus if I have to say welcome to Wal-mart one more fucking time I'm going to kill some damn body. Plus my boss wanted me to start up a soccer team for my co workers and me to boost morale. Yeah asshole, I have one leg. But seeing what I did at my last job to get fired, I'm happy to have one at all. Who knew I couldn't use the bathroom to record a movie starring a blind girl, two german sheperds and alot of baby oil, fuck Colonel Sanders , ya dick. I have some side projects going but they aren't really hitting on shit right now. I'm going to try to get back into tv or movies. Before the war, I was an extra on Saved By The Bell, The College Years, I was in the last episode of the Fall Guy and I did a Stove Top Stuffin' commercial. My manager says they're wanting someone for a lead role as a midget in Gullivers Travels, so im keeping my fingers crossed and just hoping for the best. Anyway, I'm going to go get some new shoes today. They better give me them bitches half off or at least sell me two right ones. Despite all the bad things that have happened to me, I'm not bitter. So if you see me walking by with a tear drop in my eye look away oh yes, baby look away.

and yes....I have too much time on my hands........but seriously.......

The truth is....

I'm 29 years old, born and raised in North Carolina. I've been living in Ohio since 1998. I still don't understand this buckeye madness, but oh well.

My husband Mark and I have been married a little over a year now. He is the better half. Don't judge him by my character :lol:

No kids, just pets.

Before the company I work for got bought out, I did IT work, primarily DBA and EDI. Now I just sit here and get dumber everyday. Same pay, less work, I ain't gonna complain! I've decided it is time to go back to school and finish up that degree and get up to par on what's going on in the IT world before anyone in payroll notices me and fixes any glitches.

I grew up playing poker with my family and friends and I always enjoy a good game either live or online. I don't really care to be on TV or win anything major. I don't dedicate what it takes to be able to play at that level anyway. Who knows! Besides, I enjoy taking the local money to supplement my income ha ha.

If I'm not in class, not at work, not playing poker, or not at work playing poker and the weather is nice, I like to ride around on my motorcycle. I have a CBR600RR and a VStar 1100 Classic. One bike to zip around on and another to just go cruising on.

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Well shit, that was entertaining. I thought I might meet up with you today but I think I will have to pass now. I dont want to be the one at the traffic lights and stop signs on the left side of your bike holding you up! :D Great post!! :welcome:

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That is a great introduction.I'm sorry that I missed the ride last friday.Let us know if you will be going out on any other rides.If you are half as funny in person as you are on here you'll be the hit party at all the stops that we make so frequently.

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  • 5 years later...

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